Do some guys feel uncomfortable exchanging a nice gaze with their partner or "crush"? Or they just don't know even know what to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Out of all the guys that have shown interest in me, right now, I can only think of a few, who were confident (?) enough, to hold a smoldering gaze with me. I don't mean a sexual look; I guess just a look of admiration.

When I've tried giving a flirty gaze with my crushes, I can recall most of them just seemed really uncomfortable and would bolt. I know they liked me, b/c of other things... I guess they were just shy? or just terrible flirts?

The guy I like right now has no problem giving me a nice smoldering stare. (It's not creepy or anything). I love it!

My friend is married and I asked her if she and her husband ever just looked at each other and she said no, LOL. She then said she tried giving him a look and he asked her What? LOL.

[jesseray]

They are uncomfortable. This is due partly to instinct and partly to conditioning (which is related to instinct).

The instict is that eye contact feels somewhat territorial, domineering, and invasive. Compare the way that women get together for drinks and the way men do. Women point their chairs directly at eachother, but men either slide their chairs together and face them in a common direction (i. e., like looking out at the sunset) or they point their chairs ALMOST BUT NOT QUITE at eachother.

As for conditioning, men often get chastised for being lustful, creepy, etc. when they let their eyes fall on a woman for any significant amount of time, for being potential sexual predators when they let their eyes fall on a child for any significant amount of time, and for being aggressive, disrespectful, and worthy of violence when they let their eyes fall on a man for any significant amount of time.

Imagine that, every day of your life, you had to worry shoes with mousetraps inside them. If you ever get comfortable letting a toe rest inside the shoe, then SNAP! That is what eyesight feels like for men. Letting the eyes get comfortable looking at something is DANGEROUS.

[upsyndrome]

that sounds so stressful.

[thelowanthem]

Holy. I had no idea that eye contact was so powerful. I wonder is this whole situation even worse if you're attracted to her?

[cavmanier]

I know what you're saying but I don't feel this way. If they look at me that way that's their choice, but it has little impact on me. I'm really not concerned if they want to live in that negative, normative world but I won't join them. I will feel sorry for them though, genuinely.

[Jordahn]

I hold eye contact until they break it, out of habit. Some girls act really flattered by it, even if they're not into me. I might be thinking "we'll maybe I shouldn't be looking at her like that" but I can't really help it, it just happens. And it doesn't come across as creepy because they'll often same I'm sincere. And guys, if you want to give a girl a nice look, don't smile the second you look at her but smile a few seconds into it. That will add tension without coming off as threatening.

[Anonymous]

Like attracts like, in my opinion... People who look at their s/o with an intense gaze will attract others who can handle it and do the same :)

[Thatguy321]

Haha i heard if you look at your partners eyes a lot! Like a lot lot eventually they stop talking, so my ex was talking about shoes and its not tht i didn't like her talking its just i wanted to put it to the test so i stared her in the eyes while smiling and she did slow down, stopped ten "... i must of done my eye make up really well! You won't stop staring! Haha anyway blah blah blah" haha

[Thatguy321]

I must be a block head guy i didn't know girls really gave flirt signals with their eyes, i mean i know when a girl has happy eyes and i assume she's happy to see me but never flirty

[KhaysunDei]

I'm pretty sure most of them are really shy because they've probably been conditioned to glorify women and when you look at them like that, they feel weird. You know, Christianity is like NO NO NO to sex (I think), and I was kind of conditioned that way too (parents were obsessed that I didn't have a girlfriend in grade school). But whenever I see a very beautiful Asian women, I tend to carefully gaze at them and I still do it even if they look back.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

No I don't think so