I've been talking to this guy for a few months now and we've had this one issue for a while. He drinks almost every night and gets completely shitfaced. I drink too, but I pace myself and never let myself get wasted. I've talked to him about it, because whenever he drinks, he tends to make promises about how he's going to keep talking to me and what not but ends up forgetting to reply (which isn't a surprise when you're drunk). He's said so many times that he'll fix it and that he cares about me too much to let it come between us, but whenever his roommates mention drinking, he gives in and goes to get drunk. I like his roommates, they're good guys, and they don't know how I feel about his drinking so I can't put the blame on him, but I don't like how easily he gives in to them.
The last time he got drunk, he called me late at night really upset and kept saying something happened but he didn't want to tell me. When I finally got him to tell me what happened, he said that a girl came into his room when he was changing and tried to strip and come onto him. I trust him when he says nothing happened, but what bothers me is the fact that after he told me, he kept saying "I shouldn't have told you I knew you'd be upset," and stuff like that. These are the choices he makes when he's drunk and I don't like it.
Today he came to me saying he was going to quit drinking for good. I am happy that he wants to make a change in his life for the better, but I don't know what the right way to do this is. Should I quit drinking as well so that we can do this together? Should I allow him to drink but only in moderation? I don't know what to do.
(p. s. sorry for long as hell post)
Most Helpful Girl
First of all, at your age (if you are 19) and if he is around that age, you are way too young to be worried about how heavily someone is drinking. That is not a good sign at all. If you care about the person, don't accept that behavior. If he wants to drink, you can't stop him, but you don't have to be a apart of it either. Tell him you care about him, and that he is hurting his mind and body, and you don't want to be around to see that. Tell him there are many other things the two of you could do for enjoyment. IF he is drinking as a way to cope with issues, there are plenty of places he can go to listen and get guidance from others that are or have been in his shoes. Support him, don't enable and don't just go along for the ride... best of luck0