How should I get my stuff back?

My ex-boyfriend has my parents' computer, and I need to get it back.


I could go and pick it up myself. Every time I think about it, my body goes into panic mode, like it did when we broke up, and so many times before. I'm curious to see what he might say, partly because it hurts that we're broken up. In a way, I wish we could be friends, but I think that would be bad for me overall. He might lie to me, or say nothing at all, or not even be there. One of the reasons we broke up is because he wouldn't talk to me on a regular basis, and I think trying to get some sort of reaction or closure would be feeding into the whole negative thing.


I could ask him to drop it off at my house. He hasn't come to my house to see me in like 10 months, but I think he might drop off the computer here.


I could go pick it up with my friends for moral support. This would be probably more fun for them than for me, but at least it would keep me focused on something other than him and keep me positive.


I could have my mom go pick it up. I don't really want her to. He might smoke a cigarette right when she gets there, and I don't want her to know that he smokes.

This question has a poll!

  • Vote A Go pick it up from his place by myself.
  • Vote B Ask him to drop it off at my house.
  • Vote C Go pick it up with my friends in the car.
  • Vote D Have my mom go and pick it up for me.
Updates:
Whoops, I forgot something important... for clarity, we broke up about 2 weeks ago. Thanks!
 

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What Girls Said 3

What Guys Said 3

  • Selected as most helpful

    Txt or email or something saying that you need the computer back and arrange a time to go and get it. Quick trick, if you arrange something else right after it, it forces you to get on with the task at hand, keeps you focused, no time to get into a big painful discussion over where things left off. Arrange to get coffee with a friend, or even better your parents, decide you can't be late, give yourself a 10 min window to get the computer, and LEAVE. Be polite, but no need to be sappy, or overly forgiving, no need to be curt or rude either. And if you find yourself getting sucked into anything, just say, "sorry but I have this important meeting, I just ment to stop by for the comp and I don't want to be late". Good Luck :D

  • Email him first and arrange a time, say you really need it and arrange a time. I would get it yourself, but maybe have a friend in the car for moral support if things go badly/if you don't want to do it alone/if you don't want to be too long.

    Don't get your parents to do it, it'll look a bit of a childish/petty way of 'mummy sorting your problems' and the smoking issue. It's best to face him yourself, no hard feelings kind of thing.


    Good luck, those situations are always hard!

  • Girl, that's your parents computer. The last time I checked, those things are not cheap. If it makes it easier for you, take a friend with you and take back your computer. And why have you waited 10 months for that? If you waited so long, that means you're not ready for closure. But I'm pretty sure that there's someone out there for you, so pick up that computer and find a guy who'll take care of you, and not some idiot who's not capable to have it's own computer and has to borrow it (and have the nerves not to return it) from his girlfriends parents.

    • Thanks! Just for clarity, I haven't waited 10 months, we broke up 2 weeks ago. He hasn't visited me in 10 months, I was going over to his place.

  • Go with a friend and pick it up. And if he refuses, you call the cops. Cause that's expensive stuff.

  • The longer you wait the more difficult it will be. Bring a friend and get it over with. Call or text him and just get it. Best of luck to you

  • Is there a reason for this? Like, has he threatened you or anything like that? If not, just go with friends.

    • :)

    • ah, definitely trust your gut then. Even if it's wrong it always errs on the side of caution.

    • Maybe it would help to think of it as a gut feeling... For so long, I have had no rational reason to believe he is dangerous. I don't know if "dangerous" is the right word, but my body has felt for some time that there is something very wrong and untrustworthy about him.

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