I told him his ex is fat and ugly, now he's mad?

[Anonymous]

He brought his ex up in conversation, and he overheard her talking about my friend, saying all these mean things about my friend. I just said, "we'll your ex girlfrien has no right to say those things about my friend, especially since she is downright ugly and fat." Well I thought he would agree, but he got so defensive and mad. He said "are you trying to say I only go out with ugly girls?" Why would he be so mad? If he's over her, then I would think he could agree with me. And for the record, his ex really is fat! I was stating the truth

[Anonymous]

You insulting her, is in turn insulting him, or so he feels. His ex shouldn't have opened her mouth about your friend, but you're just as bad now, by insulting his ex. So he puts up his defenses because of your statement, and sees you as less attractive, because you're calling out another person, that's a sign of insecurity and meanness at heart. Guys don't want a mean insecure girl, they want a kind hearted girl who has confidence. So you quite effectively made yourself seem less of a gem in his eyes, nice work.

[Asker]

Wow, now you sound defensive for some reason. You really didn't need to say "nice work". Why don't you practice what you preach, you f***ing hypocrite. Thanks for nothing

[Opinion Owner]

Hey, You R the one who asked. I didn't call you fat or ugly or anything superficial. I called you mean & insecure. That was a mean & insecure thing that you did. Plus, asking commenter Phoenix what to do if he still cares for her, reaks of insecurity. Can't you see that? There is nothing to do you can't bend the will of a person's heart. I doubt that should be a concern for you anyway, it's natural to stick up for an ex, part of him will ALWAYS care for her. If he felt you were 2nd, he would look for sum1 else

[bunny_luv]

I guess it's because the truth hurts. if somebody made comments about one of my exes ie. fat, stupid, idiotic, etc. I'd be hurt and totally feel like they were saying I'm a fool for even going out with someone like that or going so low as to date someone like that. and believe me it's happened as in comments made like that and it hurts. hope you two can move on without thinking or talking about his ex again. take care.

[Asker]

I see your point and appreciate your answer. But I wasn't implying that he was a fool for going out with her, I just meant that he was too good for her. I think he's a great guy who is really good looking and nice, and he deserves the best. That is what I think, anyway. And besides, the only reason I lashed out about her was because she was making fun of my best friend. It really wasn't about him

[bunny_luv]

I know sweetie I understand what you're saying. I guess I'm just pointing out the other perspective. as I too was told I was too good for my ex. and still it's hard to not take criticism personally or to personalize it. hope you two will be ok.

[shortay92]

My guess is it more likely has to do with the fact that he thinks it looks bad on him. I dated a guy 3 years ago and when my friends say he was so ugly and kinda gross. I get upset and stick up for him because I think it makes me look bad that I chose him. I'm not still interested in him. It just took a long time to accept that's what I chose.

[martyfellow]

I guess he thought you were criticizing him for eer having been her boyfriend. If he's that sensitie about it, obviousl he is NOT completely over her.

The fact tht she reallyIS fat just rankles him all the more; maybe he thinks you are suggesting he'll date ANYBODY willing.

[Asker]

I think you are right. He turned my comment into something else, and made it about him. If he were to criticize my ex, I wouldn't mind at all. Makes me think he's not done with her. He also said, "you know, I obviously thought she was cute at one point when I dated her". I was like, "so? You didn't meet me yet, so you didn't know you could do better. Haha" he didn't laugh

[martyfellow]

This guy should learn to laugh at himself!

[Phoenix1991]

I've been in the similar situation before in the past, most people try to defend their ex if they care about them in the slightest degree. Its like you have that one relative not everyone likes but they will still come to their aid if they were threatened.

[Asker]

If he does still care about her, what should I do? I don't want to be his second choice. She is getting married anyway, so he can't have her back.

[SeraphenaAngel]

Red flag, whenever they are defensive of an ex...there are usually still feelings there.