As I have started to write a few myTakes aimed at men and what I think we can do to improve our sense of confidence and navigate the dating terrain, I thought I'd try my hand at offering a little insight into what I think I and many men find sexy and attractive to women.
I'd like to note that this advice/opinion is not targeted to woman who want to be drooled over by men, but rather women that men feel instantly drawn to and enamoured with such that these are the girls that are constantly being asked out. This is not the unattainable supermodel, but rather the it girl who you get really excited to date even if none of your bros know that you do.
She is FREE
The legacy of sexism in America and around the world is one that is mired in more in restraint and submission more so than pure hatred that has defined racism and homophobia. Men seek to control women and imprision them from making their own decisions independent of men. Perhaps, this comes from an inability to get everythign we ever wanted from our mothers, who knows, or maybe it's just a factor of our initial physical strength compared to the average woman. The reason of why doesn't matter. What does matter in this modern age and to the modern male is a woman who is absouletly and undeniable free to move around do whatever she pleases. This is not the entiteld bitch. It is the hyper, exceptionally comfortable woman who feels totally sure of herself dancing around on a table one moment and discussing the threat of ISIS the next. The type of girl who can wear glasses she doesn't need just to be silly and is comfortable telling you to shutup because she has a massive headache the next. This woman walks around the world with ease. It is a playground for her. Almost like a child, she lives entirely in the moment. This is not due to immmaturity, but an understanding that there's nothing she can't do.
SHE doesn't take a backseat to your career/ life
So many women still tend to not talk about their careers as being the most important thing in their lives to their boyfriends. They sit passivily as the guy drones on and on about how they don't appreciate his unique talents and are out to get him, but when she brings up her own job, she allows the man to shut her up with a simple "uh huh...wow that's cool. So proud." And then start talking about himself or something else entirely.
It is so sexy when a woman has her own passions and can feel super excited about it even when you aren't! A woman who's on her purpose whether it's dance, soccer, business, law, or even baking is a woman who glows with the journey of her life. It is so exciting to see a woman who is different from the stereotype--who absolutely loves her job as not a second but a first mission of her life. Beware though, that you, as a woman, have to actually have to be a mission to achieve greatness. If you fautler when a guy is initially happy for you, you will reveal yourself to be weak and dependent on his approval in order for you to feel good about what you're doing. However, when a guy barely registers your mission and you still are jumping up and down in excitement and then you go out there and you accomplish and become great we have no choice but to marvel at your determination and stand in awe of how when you walk in a room all the color seems to go where you are.
She is BADASS
Not a badgirl. Not a slut. A girl who's a badass is reckless as all hell and doesn't care. She will slap your face if you cross her with no hesitation. She won't revel in it, in fact she'll take no pleasure in it at all, she'll do it because, according to her, it has to be done. A girl who's a badass takes danger on with swagger and doesn't take crap, she blows it off with a shotgun. She doesn't conform, she doesn't have time. She's too busy doing badass things. The limitations of the role her gender ascribes to her are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is the adrenaline of her ambition. She exercises low impulse control, lack of aversion to high risk situations, all while retaining a strong sense of feminity. The reason that this is sexy is because most girls are seen as so shy and afraid of her own shadow that a girl who can turn this stereotype on it's head are excited to be around. Obviously, there are times when it's not appropriate to be a badass, but, every so often, a woman has to do just what she's going to do consequences and danger be damned. This is probably the most polarizing, the most difficult to achieve because it requires full commitment, but also the most potent trait of the three.
So, those are some of the things that I think make an exceptional female. The kind you want to watch walk around the room and can't wait to ask out while her friends are standing there awkwardly wondering why their friend always gets the attention. It's time more books were written about this female and, I believe, in time there will.
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