Let me first say that I'm writing this not only speaking to you all, but to myself as well. We could all use some encouragement in the area of loving ourselves and that is my goal with this myTake. Read on!
It took me a while to find myself. I used to look at other people and try to be like them. I did what they did. I tried to look how they looked. And when it would fail (because it always did), I would be left feeling empty. Have you ever felt that way? Like you're just an empty shell? I spent most of my childhood and teenage years feeling that way. I was bullied. A lot. So I spent a lot of time trying to impress people. To be what I thought people would like. And when that didn't work, I just stopped trying to be anything. Until one day I realized what the real problem was: I hated myself.
A lot of the times we focus so much on wanting to be seen and accepted by others that we forget the most important step: seeing and accepting ourselves first. We set the standard on how others treat us. If we don't possess the ability to love ourselves, how can we expect others to? It has to come from within. And trust me, it's no easy task. But it is so necessary. In order to be able to love yourself, you have to find yourself. That's where soul searching comes in. I sat down with a pen and paper and just wrote. I wrote down my feelings, what I wanted out of life, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do. I cried. I prayed. I prayed some more. I meditated. And I realized that I wasn't born to live my life the way I was living it. Feeling sad, depressed, angry, and just lost. I realized that I was wasting my life feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't the pretty girl that everyone loved. In soul searching I realized that I was selling myself short. I was placing my self value in what others thought of me instead of seeing myself as the strong, bright, spunky individual that I really am. And in realizing that, I was able to begin the healing and rebuilding process.
One of the important things in that rebuilding and healing phase is forgiving yourself. We tend to be extremely hard on ourselves. I believe 100% in the saying that we are our own worst critics. I can literally stand in front of a mirror and pick myself to shreds. I've cried my heart out over things that I've said about myself. And I know I'm not alone in that. The funny part about it is this: we don't allow or like for other people to say bad things about us, so then why is it ok to speak.to ourselves that way? My mom overheard me bad mouthing myself one day and she got upset. She then said this, "Do you think you'd have any friends if you talked about them the way you talk about yourself?" And my automatic response was "I'd neve talk bad about my friends." And I remember her giving me the saddest look and saying " So then why do you speak so horribly about yourself?" I'll always remember that because unbeknownst to her, she helped me see just how toxic I was being. I was becoming the kids I hated growing up. I was a bully. And in order for me to move on, I had to forgive myself. Just like I had to forgive them. I couldn't heal without doing it. And while I'll never forget the things that they said and did, or how they made me feel, I refused to let it define me.
Like I said above, we set the standard for how others treat us. We have to learn to love ourselves from the inside out. Look in the mirror. Embrace your flaws. Understand that to you, they may be bothersome but to someone else, they may be beautiful. Own who you are! Never, ever apologize for being you. If someone can't accept you for who you are, then you're probably better off without them! Realize that there is only one of you on the entire planet. Take comfort in knowing that you have purpose. We all do. We were all fearfully and wonderfully made. God doesn't make mistakes. We're all here to shine our lights and leave a mark on this world. And we can't do that by hating ourselves. So be you! Be proud! Rock it like no one else can and don't apologize for it. Just remember, there's no one out there that can do you better than you can! Go out and be great!
And as always, stay classy GaGers! See you guys on the threads! 😎 ✌ ❤
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