Why Girls' Standards of Perfection Are Just As High As Men's

[Jolson131]

Perfection is something that is completely unattainable. And something that I, along with every other man, am accused of is setting my standards of beauty for women too high. I can't open Facebook without seeing a girl posting about how her body wasn't good enough for some guy or, and this one is my favorite..., the posts about "Guys be like, I want a girl with the perfect butt, boobs, face, smile....like dude this isn't BuildABitch.com".

Besides, for me those are just rough guidlelines, but apparently that isn't allowed ;)

Yes I get it, the majority of guys do seem to set very high standards for women. I even had a friend of mine get rejected by a guy because he didn't like her butt. So believe me, I don't like it any more than women do. I think it's honestly the most shallow thing I have ever heard. But if you think that men are the only ones with high standards, you are sorely mistaken.

Before I start this next part of my myTake, I want to preface it with acknowledging that in no way do I think this is 100% accurate of all women, but it is merely an opinion based on my own experiences.

I model. And in the modeling business, you are basically trying to achieve physical perfection. Tight core, huge arms, ripped chest, handsome face, great hair, and do all of this while still appearing human and not like those freakish bodybuilders who haven't not taken steroids since they were 18. This standard is set pretty high as it is, not to mention going through every one of your girl friends facebook profile which is just SCATTERED with pictures of these incredibly attractive men. Men say what they like, and when they see what they like they know it and it doesn't really have a "face" to it. Like I don't walk around looking for someone who looks like Jennifer Aniston. To me, there isn't a set standard to what beauty is. I like what I like.

At least for me, when I was single, it was almost depressing seeing these girls posting pics of hot guys. Mainly because I figured that I would never be good looking enough for any of these girls because that seemed to be their standard of beauty in a man. I have grown up since then, but still, I know that it can be difficult just seeing that stuff and thinking you can't land a girl because all she does is post hot dudes all over everywhere.

This being said about the man's physical side, let's talk about personality. Obviously, men have personality standards for women. I don't want to date some dimwit, but I also don't want to date a Madam Curie. That's my preference. Women do seem to have a cookie cutter standard, at least to me, about how they want a man to act. Kind, but not a pushover. Strong, but not aggressive. Funny, but not annoying. These on top of being smart, driven, and confident. Speaking from experience, it is near IMPOSSIBLE to have all of those traits. Obviously it varies from woman to woman, but that's the general consensus. Now try mixing all those personality traits, and you have a manly, but sensitive boyfriend.

BUT WAIT, there is still the physical side. No girl is gonna date some potato with a great personality. Now we have to have the best personality AND be very attractive. But some girls decide to be really picky. While I was single, I tried out tinder and you wouldn't believe the number of girls who in their bio wrote, "Dad bods only". At least you say what you want but at least when guys say what they want in a girl it's actually something that is attractive and shows she cares about her body instead of being a lazy guy who just sits and drinks beer watching day-time television with doritos stains on his sofa (No offense dad bodded gents).

I get it. Plenty of men aren't fair in deciding who is or isn't attractive, but just remember that you ladies aren't the only victims. Some of us nice guys are just trying to figure out what it is you want so we can get the girl. We all just wanna be happy!

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

We all have a right to have preferences or standards. I like girls shorter then me, long hair, cute smile, average boobs and average butt. Does that make me a dick. Of coarse not. If a girl didn't want to date me because my hair is jet black, or because im not tall enough, or because i dont have a 10 inch penis, so be it. I will move on. Dont let those guys and girls with ridiculous standards put you off. Let them date who they want to date. By the way, I've met a lot of girls who just want a guy who doesn't act like a gangster, but i live in a city of 110 thousand.

[schnipdip]

tbh it's most girls. The girls that don't have standards are the girls who basically have no ambition - to be better. They "gave up" in a sense. Or they have been with so many guys - sex - that she finally wants to settle down with "mr. perfect" but realizes "mr. perfect" doesn't want used garbage.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

@schnipdip how would that perfect guy know that she has been with lots of guys. I can't look at most girls and guess correctly how much guys she has been with.

[schnipdip]

for starters you can ask...
there is gossip.
then you have people who look like they've been around the block a few times, if you know what I mean.
Attitude too.
You can get a good understanding of who a person is within the first 10 minutes of meeting with them... it's not hard.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

@schnipdip girls are pretty good at hiding things.

[GirlsLie]

@schnipdip jesus, can you generalize more. First of all, women who have been with guys before aren't "used garbage" and "mr perfect" is subjective, maybe her "mr perfect" has slept with 50 women before her or maybe he actually likes "sluts" or a woman with experience, a lot of men do.

Also not trying to be mean but women are just more physically appealing than men are (most of the time), we're just made differently. So it's only natural that more women than men would be open to "settling" in the looks department. It doesn't necessarily mean they've given up, women are just easier to look at lol, so I think a lot of women value personality more.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

@GirlsLie i think you right. My worse expierences with sex was when i was having sex with two virgins. It was the worst sex i ever had. Girls who actually know how to fuck areway better in my opinion. I also think there are more better looking girls then guys. So basically, the average girl is better looking then the average guy. But i also think a lot of other thingsare taken into account by girls like money, where he stands amongst his peers as with personality.

[GirlsLie]

I've seen multiple men on this site, like girls who are "sluts" (their words, not mine lol) and men irl date slutty girls as well, it's fine to like whatever you like, I don't see why people say girls like that aren't "dating" or "marriage" material etc, people like all sorts of women.

Also how many "mr perfects" out there are going to not have slept around or had some experience with other women? but the girl is "used garbage" if she did, the entire thing doesn't make sense to me lol

[cinderelli]

Good take dude.. dad bods are not hot.. Lol.. and pics of hot guys doesn't tell what type of guy a girl wants because we don't have a fixed idea of what a guy should be.. my celebrity crushes change a lot.. 😛 anything about some guy can make us get that tingling feeling... 😊

[Anonymous]

Yes, there are many differences between the psyche of men and women, but for some reason a lot of people want to ignore this and act like we're all the same when we aren't. Women go for personality, resources, and other things of worth to her existence, whereas men go for looks because he can provide for himself.

Even the tired out 'women are just as sexual as men' bit is laughable. In a casual setting, a man will fuck EVERYTHING, but a woman's standards for casual sex do NOT change; The only similarity is both enjoy sex, but one goes for whatever they can get whereas the other still plays out their submissive and hypergamous behaviour, which is why when people say women don't want sex like men.. it's pretty literal.

Another funny thing is, the women who are complaining about guys who want those types of things are usually guys of perceived value and not what people consider 'average', and as if losing weight and not being a cunt are that hard of personality and physical traits to achieve.

I feel confident enough to say that all a man wants out of a woman's personality is to not say stupid things and to not be a bitch. OP, you just have to realize that women are typically myopic and only focus on their own perspective, viewing their womanness as some intellectual blessing and feel like their viewpoint is numero uno, but it's also not their fault. They say crass things because we can take it and cry when we say crass things because they can't take it, but that's not their fault. Just do what you've got to do to be happy and get money.

"Homie, you hustlin' backwards if you chasin a bitch, stupid, chase the paper, they come with the shit".

[Jolson131]

Literally the greatest take on men and women ever haha!

[Opinion Owner]

I heavily recommend you watch/listen to an old radio show called 'The Black Phillip Show with Patrice Oneal' if you aren't already. His insight into relationships, what men want, what women are, and how to achieve happiness is second to none, and is definitely not what you're going to find on here, on relo blogs, or in mass media. He is very honest, very blunt, and very insightful; He personally made me understand that I cannot be mad at women for doing the dumb shit they do because it's truly not their fault but the fault of biology, and he also showed me that I am in control of my life, so if I'm being brought down by a woman then it's 100% my fault for not either tossing her out the door or reforming her to be a better girl.

Here's a small piece of the show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmw2YRJ1LY0

[Anonymous]

This is kind of tricky, cause i have friends who will post pics on Facebook of hot dudes or those funny little memes. The thing of it is their online preferences rarely ever actually reflect their personal tastes in men. In fact anything that comes as a meme or as like a funny picture (aka build a bitch) doesn't really tell you anything about the person liking it or posting it. They may just find it entertaining or amusing.
I always tell my friends they shouldn't judge a guy for what he posts, cause half the time it's just stuff he finds funny. Think about why you post or re-post random things, it's usually not to tell the world what your standards are, right?

That being said, I totally agree that some girls have high expectations. Both genders are the same in this, when it comes to what people find physically attractive opinions vary, but it is an important component to being attracted to someone and pursuing them. So this is a really interesting take.

I think though you have to consider that sometimes appearance is an easy escape goat, like i have gone on some blind dates where the guy was nice but we just didn't have much in common or even a similar sense of humor. He was sarcastic in a way where it felt like he was just being mean... anyway, i wasn't going to tell my friend that so i just told her he wasn't my type. Obviously not many people necessarily do this, but for some people or situations that is the case.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

girl's standards are generally significantly higher than men's. this has to do with a few reasons. 1st is probably the act of asking girls out. think about it. guys are told to make the 1st move (more or less) and girls react. of course there are some guys who only go after 10s, but many guys (including me) usually have a harder time just going up to girls and straight up asking them on dates out of fear of rejection. half the time, it's at the expense of guys taking a chance while girls basing their thoughts on the 1st encounter. I don't know if i'm even explaining it in a way it makes sense.

2nd, because guys are generally lower maintenance. this comes from my experience of having 4 sisters. i'm usually pretty chill and can settle if need be for just about anything. my sisters, on the other hand, don't typically take things for what it is. women can argue with me about this, but y'all know it's true.

3rd is because guys intentions vs girls intentions are a lot different and what guys vs girl variations in looks. i have a long ass explanation for this, but i'm really lazy and feel like being done writing so just take my word for it :D

[PrincessTashaaaa]

Thing is, for us women it's hard to keep up. With men, a near-perfect body is muscular. He has a nice face and he's clean with a gentlemanly air about him.
For us women, it's confusing. We could all aim to be skinny, but how are we meant to be skinny but have big boobs and a bouncy butt at the same time? We could all have nice butts and boobs, but it's rare for a woman with those assets to have lean, long legs and a tiny, flat stomach/waist. More so, how are we meant to have big boobs and big butts without those boobs being saggy, and without those butts to have cellulite? Fit girls like me, may be able to build a butt with muscle, but she can't keep her boobs. Like men can work out til the cows come home and they don't have to worry about keeping enough body fat to still look manly, like women do to still look feminine.

[Xbox720guy]

Is it weird that I don't mind when boobs sag?

[the_rake]

you dont need to be thin thin: it's not that rare for a woman to have decent curvature without being fat, e. g. katherine zeta jones. most men prefer this, in fact over this wave of anorexically thin models who only really seem to appear attractive - surprisingly enough - to other women. some of athletes and even bodybuilder girls can appear attractive also provided they don't go way overboard. this is because their curvature is from muscle rather than fat.

by the way it's fucking hard to get a shredded physique, i would know. you have to workout at the gym PLUS cardio do get rid of the puppy fat when you go on a calorie surplus. if you have a high metabolism like me, you really have to hammer away at the 'bulk' phase, eating as much protein asyou can while keeping an eye on your health, obviously. other guys put on a lot of fat and have to 'cut'. on the other hand, it doesn't really take much to stay size 12 or under. this is provided that you diet reasonably and do some modest cardio

[PrincessTashaaaa]

Not at all lol @xbox720guy
And @the_rake I work out too. I've got dreams of becoming a bikini body competitor one day. They're just dreams, but that's the body I aspire for. Bikini competitors are muscular and you need to have breast implants to actually compete. Working out to get shredded is hard for men, of course. But for women, I believe it's that little bit harder because we can pretty much kiss goodbye to our boobs.
We're talking about standards of perfection in today's society. Mrs Jones and runway models are beautiful and have natural curves, but it's nowhere near the mainstream picture of perfection.

[the_rake]

ok but naturally a desirable female physique for most men is not going to be nearly as 'shredded' as what would be considered attractive for men. women can keep their curves as long as they don't get too skinny and there are plenty of women... explain to me what the mainstream definition is of perfection because it doesn't necessarily coincide with what men believe. interestingly it seems that women who start off heavy and lose a bit of weight have more natural curvature, e. g. than a skinny woman who endeavours to become athletic.

[TheDevilInside]

Only immature girls have such high standards. Same as immature guys. The more you grow up, the more you understand that nobody is perfect. And if YOU can't be fucking perfect yourself, don't expect others to be so fucking perfect. Older more mature individuals know this. Immature people don't. So you probably have only been surrou der by immature people.

Also, let me tell you. When girls (exclude the immature shallow bitches) say something like "dad bods only", usually the lines aren't actually that strict. A girl who says this is basically like when a guy says "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!" Sounds damn shallow, but girls just want to get that effect that guys get when they say shallow things like that. Get it? Just to brag about their tastes. But this standard could be lowered if they find some greatness on another aspect of a particular guy.

[Jolson131]

That last portion makes a lot of sense! Thanks for clearing that up cuz before it just seemed shallow and picky but ig both genders do that shit lol.

[oddwaffle]

When you decide who's attractive or not, it's not about fair, it's about opinion that tend to scale really well.

It's like looking at other people jobs. Sure, I'd tell you the 200k-Salary-Something-Doctor is a fabulous job. However, my skills, talents and resume only add up to a Medical-Test-Subject that pays $500 for trying some suspicious looking vials.

Sure, I'd hope for a fabulous girlfriend who is hotter than a plasma field. However, I'd probably get vaporized in 2sec without a battleship caliber matching profile. Sure, I'd give it shot if I have enough time to waste and chase her but I'd settle for something more productive.

[schnipdip]

FINALLY!. I thought I was the only one that thought this.

Yeah also: you need to have a great body, a great paying and exciting job, be really well educated, be a super traveler, go on adventures all the time, be a nonchalant hippie, be a high class gentleman, have perfect hair, be mysterious, be open - but not too open, be kind - but no too kind, be nice to others - but not nice to other girls (if you have a girl), have lots of friends, be a super family man, go to parties, go to clubs, be super social... the list goes on... IT"S FUCKING EXHAUSTING AS FUCK!

[schnipdip]

Also: be a drinker - you're fucked if you don't like to drink somewhat, have a wide variety of taste (which i do) - while keeping your perfect form, can't judge others - for anything, can't be mean or ever show any sign of being upset - if you do you're a pussy (according to girls), but they want you to be sensitive (to them), must be 6 ft plus with a thick and long dick, can be hairy - but not too hairy or can't have any hair, must have a modern sleek clothing style, must pay attention to her all the time... let's be real, girl standards are higher then male standards for girls.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Guys, i see girls with trashy dudes. I see girls with nasty looking guys. I see guys with dumbass morons, what do you mean they have too high standards. Get out and walk around the block and look at couples.

[animeFreak]

I think it is fine to have high standards, but you are going to have to have all attractive qualities too. You want to date someone you are attracted to with a great personality, and that is okay. Just don't be an unattractive whiny little bitch after a very attractive person who is intelligent with a great sense of humor.

I consider myself to have high standards, becouse my standards describe my personal wants in a man. It is not the same guy most of my other girls describe as the perfect guy, but it would be the perfect guy to me. That is why I consider my standards high. I think people should go for what they want, but remember to stop listening to societies idea of hottest guy or girl, and go for your idea.

[Dragonblood21]

Attractive people are attractive, regardless of gender, I feel like this sums up things really simply.

It doesn't matter your gender, if you are attractive look wise, personality wise, whatever wise, you are going to attract the opposite gender to you more often. In doing this, you are going to be more picky. Why? You can afford to be, so why wouldn't you? If I present to you a McDonald burger, a five guys burger, then a world famous restaurant burger, and you may only take one free of charge, I bet I can guess which you are going to take.

It depends on what you can and can't have, is where your standards normally are. You want to have higher standards? Well then put down that pizza, pick up that vegetable, exercise a bit more, and maybe take some time to reflect upon yourself.

[KLTheErudite7229]

Yeah and I believe that "Inner beauty is better than Outter beauty", this is for both gender; I believe that means having a good heart is better than good looks. I also think that other than modeling industry, the media has been brainwashing us that we have to look like certain celebrities, face and body for both gender to be perfect and I just think that is not true. Yeah, of course we tend to be jealous of "good looking" people out gender to be competitive, but I think that'd be waste of our times. At least for me I care more about my personality than my looks.

[Jolson131]

Yeah personality is the big thing considering eventually we will all get old and wrinkley. Only thing I have to say is that I care about taking care of my physical body BC my personality is set. Its not very likely to change unless I drop all my friends and become someone I'm not. So personality kind of just comes with you and physical is something you work on.

[Anonymous]

WTF is wrong with mangina making mytake. Lol if you think guys require any of that shit.

YOUR ABOVE LIST OF WHAT GUYS WANT IN A GIRL IS FLAWED.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A GUY REJECT A GIRL IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE 1/2 THOSE THINGS ON THAT LIST.

Guys have low standards and will accept/love a woman and find her attractive if she just remains thin and doesn't eat like a pig. However, surprisingly most women are too lazy even for that.

[Jolson131]

Most helpful

[Ginger6706]

I will start off by saying that a lot of guys, not all, but a lot are really unrealistic in what they want in a girl. I hear so many bros in the gym talk about want they want in a girl and it is pathetic. Anyways with that aside I definitely see how some women are getting to be the same way. I have a physical disability (I'm legally blind and cross eyed) and have found that it is quite difficult in the dating world. I have tried all sorts of online dating sites and apps. I've been rejected so many times that it's hard for me to walk up to a girl and introduce myself. Often times I feel inadequate even though I take good care of myself and have a lot of intelligence. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, but something is wrong here. Ladies please take the time to look at the whole person when selecting men. Men should do the same when looking at women.

[CasaNorba]

i think your premises here are flawed as only high school guys expect women to have

- big booty

- big boobs

- cute face

- etc.

the majority of the time grown guys dont expect all of these from their s/o. at least i dont. and not for nothing but is been proven millions of times that women are indeed the once who are the choosy gender. they might not expect us to have big asses, big boobs, etc. but they sure as hell expect us to have many things that they can benefit out of in the long run

[Anonymous]

I guess what people say and what people mean are two different things.
Josie Maran's husband
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Josie Maran's ex
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[Xwingjade]

I admit us girls are just as bad, yes guys can be dicks but it's like you say you're a bit more straightforward about it, a good example is my brother who has to shave his head bald from a condition, he still takes care of himself and is sweet, but he's only 20 and a lot of girls say no entirely because of his hair which he has no control over, whereas an overweight guy or gal could take steps to lose it. Now in the same token he always tells me he wouldn't date below a 7. looks wide when I point out a girl he doesn't fancy so looks do matter to him but he openly admits it. I believe it's the deception and telling oneself they don't matter that causes issues and arguments

[Anonymous]

Meh, some do but what I've come to find out the hard way is that appearance isn't everything. I've dated and had flings with many different women and have been told that I'm hot, cute, etc but still have yet to form a relationship. The only ones into me I wasn't slightly attracted to or they were barely attractive and moved too fast. It goes both ways though. Just because a woman is hot doesn't mean she's devoid of issues. In fact one of the hottest girls I dated, was also the craziest. She used me as a rebound as well. Bottom line is, never ignore red flags just because you find someone very physically attractive. That goes for both genders

[godfatherfan]

Any guy that would not date, or dump someone, due to some silly physical characteristic is probably some young moron punk "pretty boy". Women are better off without those low IQ POS's anyway.
obviously you need physical attraction. But nobody is perfect. and it is the imperfections that can be endearing.

[Ulyss]

Lol I've seen some weird looking people have high standards and I mean so high for example they look for a symmetrical looking bitch and have a shit personality I'm like GL xD Personally what would make me stay and be serious with a woman is if she has short hair and a petite body

[ChocEyes]

There's nothing wrong about having "high standards". Nothing wrong in liking better looking guys/girls. Everyone just wants the best for himselfherself. The problem is when someone starts caling people "shallow" just because his/her dream boy/girl prefers someone they consider better looking. Let's let eveyone have their "high standards" and preferences. There's nothing shallow about it.

[Anonymous]

Women have far higher standards, a women just has to be half decent looking and she is desirable to most men, and a women is far more easily attractive to men sexually. Men need far more to be desirable to most women. 1% of men can knock up 100% of women (batemans principle), so they are far more selective Than us. Dating and sexual attraction is literally the biggest advantage the female gender has.