I always see stuff like this on G@G and a lot of it is either laughable or generic. Like: “If a girl says she’s fine, she’s totally not fine.” That’s some mind game shit but you get my point. So, I wanted to do a version of one of these popular lists with things that I think are useful and hilarious for guys to know when interacting with girls.
Disclaimer: As usual, please keep in mind that my humor is vulgar on a good day and that not all of my points will apply to all women, as it is absolutely impossible for anybody to make an opinion-based-list-of-generalizations that applies 100% to everybody. It’s all in good fun, based on my own “research” if you will and I mean no ill will. Without further adieu, please enjoy the take.
Vaginal Cleansing Wipes Doesn’t Mean Her Clam is Stank
I used to get teased for carrying a few cleansing wipes in my bag, simply because people would see the brand and know it was for a “particular” part of my body. I would get the usual: “Little too much cheese on the taco?” Jokes or: “What’s wrong, don’t know how to wash?”
Uh I do dumb ass, this isn’t what I use these for.
Just because you keep a cleansing cloth for your lady bits in your bag does not mean you bake 12 sour dough loaves each day, it’s literally just for the occasional maintenance of your gal friend. It’s kind of like chewing a piece of minty gum: it doesn’t replace brushing, but it freshens your breath and gives you a feeling of cleanliness. It doesn’t mean you don’t brush your teeth and your mouth is stank, you just want a boost of confidence or use it as a safety precaution.
Besides, don’t act like balls smell good.
So if a girl has products for the poon don’t take it as she’s some stinky monster, she literally just has a step or two more to her cleanliness routine. If anything, you should feel relieved.
Do you ever feel ... UNFRESH!?
If A Girl Doesn’t Initiate, It Doesn’t Always Mean She Isn’t Interested
It’s more likely her social conditioning/upraising. A lot of women (I won’t go as far as to say most as times have changed) were brought up with the mentality that the men are pursuers, and have come to expect him to do most, if not all, of the initiating. It’s viewed as a way to gauge his level of interested based on how much effort he is willing to put forth to win her over. Mind you, like I said, not all girls are like this since things are different these days.
So, if you notice that a girl never initiates, but when you talk to have amazing conversations and she totally flirts back, she probably likes you, she just isn’t used to initiating.
I personally have no issue texting first, in case you were wondering.
We Know the Random Shit We Like Is “Dumb”
Is there any reason to spend $300.00 on Bath and Body Works candles? Is it equally as necessary for us to get upset if they don’t carry our favorite scent? Hell no, but also hell yes. Well … not the getting upset part, that’s douchey if you take it too far. Like this woman.
It’s also not necessary for us to shop at Sephora when the drugstore is cheaper, or pay a little extra to get a lampshade that matches our curtains. Whatever the case may be, it might seem super stupid to you but we like this shit and we know well enough that it isn’t necessary. We just do it because it makes us happy. This goes for everyone really.
I think fantasy football is stupid but I don’t go around belittling people for doing it, so don’t get mad when I want to order adorable sushi plushies even though I’m a grown ass woman and they’re overpriced. As long as I got the funds, leave me alone about it, alright?
Bitches Like Cheeseburgers Too
Now, once again, might not go for all women but for gals in general who happen to enjoy food the way I do: we don’t always want salad and we don’t always want to go out for a steak dinner either. In fact, on most dates I’ve been on I have wanted to partake in the eating of an absolutely monstrous burger too. I don’t for the sake of not making a mess of myself, because I’m still trying to impress you. Later in the relationship though….
We want to have that Big-son-of-a-bitch-burger on the menu sometimes too, damn it. Some girls just don’t want to admit it. So maybe once you’re passed the getting to know you better stage and more into the getting steady stage, you can suggest going to a burger place and see how your girl reacts. If she says she’d rather have a salad, then there’s a few things to consider:
- She still wants to impress you
- She legit likes salad
- She’s a vegetarian
- She takes dieting way too seriously (Keep an eye on that….)
I like to keep it classy still, though.
We Continue to Put Makeup on Because We Like to Feel Epic
Remember when you first met us? When we seemed to have a naturally perfected face, complete with perfect winged liner and exceptional brows? Then you got with us and saw our naked face? Sure, you still think we’re attractive, but it might seem weird that if we’re just going somewhere generic that we still want to get all done up. It isn’t because we think YOU want us to look super hot (though we also do it for this reason) rather it’s because we like feeling super beautiful sometimes. It isn’t to impress anybody else (except maybe you at times) but rather we just want to feel like our look is so epic that we could pose for a magazine cover or something.
So when you’re wondering why we’re putting on lippy when we’re just going to get a casual lunch or what have you, know it’s just to make us feel a little extra happy. It isn’t cryptic.
Hawt.
Why We Have 20 Pairs of Black Underwear
Again, I’m sure not all girls do this but me and almost all of my friends do: if you ever wondered why we seem to either wear black underwear too often or why we straight up own a zillion pairs of black panties, it’s because of convenience. They can go with almost any coloured bra and if we spring a leak (like our period or otherwise) it’s not going to show up. Then there’s the whole … you know … black is a sexy as fuck shade.
Think about it: if I get my period when I’m not expecting it and I’m wearing cute, light coloured underwear, I HAVE NO CHOICE but to throw them out because the stains will turn brown and eventually look like I shat out of my lady bits.
Seriously though, why?
Yeah that’s why I own 20 pairs of black underwear and why some other girls probably do too.
So that’s all I could honestly come up with, I hope you all enjoyed and I sincerely hope you have yourselves a great weekend. Thanks as always for reading!
Most Helpful Opinions