Why your girlfriend is jealous of the girls you're friends with

[Anonymous]

Now this should already be obvious buuuut I'll go into more detail.

So your girlfriend is jealous of your female friends but why? They're only friends and you're going out with her so what is she so worried about?

Well, she sees those girls as threats. If she's your girlfriend then she obviously fancies you and wants you to feel the same way about her and not some other girl. She wants you to love her and be the only person you love (in that way). She doesn't want to be your second best, she wants to be your first best, so if she feels like you are putting another girl before her then she may fear you like that girl more than her and that she is only second best.

Part of why she gets jealous (even if you reassure her you only love her and mean it) could be down to trust issues - People may have lied and cheated on her before which has made her wary in the present.

Another reason she could be concerned about it is (in my experience) when a hetreosexual male and female become friends and get so emotionally close to one another then one usually ends up fancying the other - And who wants their boyfriend hanging out with another girl who fancies him (or who he secretly fancies) all the time? Not me, that's for sure!

But maybe you seriously don't fancy those girls you're friends with - They're just people whom you seem to get on with or thats helped you in the past but you wouldn't want a romantic relationship with. You love your girlfriend and that's it, so what should you do to help her feel better?

Well, just tell her that! (So long as you mean it) and you can still speak to your friends but just make sure you are spending more time with your girlfriend than your girl friend. Make it obvious to your girlfriend just how much you care about her. Another important thing is to tell her the truth about who you're talking too when she asks (even if you fear she will get jealous) as this builds trust. For example: If your girlfriend asks who you are talking too and it's your friend, Jess but you tell her it's Robert and she finds out you lied, she will wonder why you lied about it and think you are hiding something.

Now, if she asks and you tell her the truth about it being a girl you're friends with, it's possible she may still feel jealous but then she will trust and respect you more for telling her the truth. Although, if you pay more attention to your girlfriend than any other girl and make it obvious you love her then she shouldn't get too jealous anyway.

Now, what about if your girlfriend was right to be jealous and you do actually fancy a female friend more than her?

Well... You gotta break up with your girlfriend. No one deserves to be second best in a relationship and it's unfair on her and unfair on you too. You're with a girl who you don't truly love which is unfair on her because if you continue this you are leading her on when she could be spending her time finding a guy who does truly love her, and it's unfair on you because you're clearly not happy in your relationship and would rather have someone else. It may feel crappy breaking up with her at first but if you are in this situation where you love someone more than her then in the long run it is probably best too just break up and then you can go on persuing other girls and find the one you do truly love as can she.

Remember, if you like someone else more than your partner then don't cheat - break up with your girlfriend before persuing other girls.

As usual, sorry this was long and for any grammar mistakes I might have made and thank you for reading, I hope this take helps.

[PeachSunset]

I don't think of it as a competition though... I mean, I have to be honest I may get a tad bit suspicious or even kind of jealous if he starts hanging out with another girl. Its fine to have opposite gender friends, but lets say they started hanging out together more than I hang out with him or he's CONSTANTLY texting her or looking at her all the time, I WILL think there is something going on, but us women aren't necessarily jealous of every girl that comes around our boyfriend and see them as threats. But I know what you mean.

[Frost_Byt3]

That's all fine and dandy, as long as she isn't a hypocrit. What pisses me off is when girls get jelous of my female friends, and i comfort her, but when i get jealous of her male friends, she gets mad, and does absolutely nothing to comfort me.

In fact, I'd be willing to give up all my female friends in a relationship ONLY if she gave up all of her male friends.

Like i said, its fine to feel that way as long as you are ok with your partner feeling that way as well.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

this is 1 of the reasons why this is arguably the dumbest shit regarding friendships/relationships i've ever heard:

most of my friends have been friends with me before i even knew she existed. on top of that, she has male friends. i'm not gonna cry and bitch every time she hangs out with a dude. people are not fucking animals. we are cognitive creatures with morals. most people don't cheat on their partner with every girl they see. and if she is that worried or that big of an issue, she should not be in a relationship to begin with because 99.998% of dudes interact like every other human being by having interactions with other humans. and if this is really that much of a concern and a posibility, she probably shouldn't have engaged in a relationship with this guy in the 1st place. if her trust issues are that bad where a guy can't be trusted to hang out with the opposite sex, given that the dude is a standup guy, that says more about the girl and her problems than him. and it works both ways. if he can't hang out or be with other girls, she shouldn't hang out in almost any circumstance with guys.

[front2back]

Okay, if there's obviously a flirtationship or the girlfriend can tell that the female friend is trying to steal her man, THEN I can understand not wanting her guy to be around her. If a girl I was dating had that presumption about one of my female friends I'd probably listen and at least distance myself. However, she shouldn't be jealous of my female friends or want me to remove contact just because they exist. There's more than just her in the world and she isn't the only person who gets my attention, get over it. If you're worried you man is going to cheat on you with his female friends then either (1.) You're insecure and worrying too much or (2.) Get a different man because he must obviously be trying to cheat.

[EricaM]

Jealousy and insecurity are the *ugliest* fucking things a woman can take around with her. What is unfortunate is that frm a young age, women are taught that it's perfectly acceptable to indulge their insecurities when another female is thinner, more beautiful and more successful. So acting a like a lunatic by treating her like shit and harassing her (rumors, lying, cruelty) is fine among other females, because we're taught to cultivate and maintain toxic relationships with other women and yet- run from men who treat us as poorly as other females.

My boyfriend doesn't like men and is only friends with women, it takes getting used to, but I don't treat his female friends like shit for it. Unless it's Becky, fuck that bitch.

[lonerider]

The problem with some girls is that they want their boyfriend to stop talking to their female friends.. while they hang out with their guy friends. "She? She's a bitch". "He? Oh no. he's just being friendly! We are just friends!!" . This sort of hypocrisy doesn't do well with guys who have self respect

[myTake Owner]

I agree if she wants you to stop talking to female friends she should stop talking to male ones. What's good enough for one is good enough for the other.

[Sammyrowrow]

Do a lot of girls request that their boyfriend stop talking to their female friends

[BlueAngel0]

The facts speak for themselves... most people cheat with people they know. I don't agree with having very close friends of the opposite sex and then there's the fact that most people today have very loose morals and believe sexual pleasure is more important than maintaining ones self respect and social cohesion.

Most loose women tend to target men to deliberately ruin other women's happiness.

[rijestelut]

Then those men weren't worth their women anyway. If a man wants to cheat, he will find a way, other women throwing themselves at him have nothing to do with it, so don't blame them, instead thank them for showing how shitty your man was, and how he didn't love you since he left/cheated on you that easily.

[BlueAngel0]

@rijestelut women should have more self respect regardless of mens behavior and not act like cheap prostitutes who ruin other women's lives. No point in trying to defend such immoral women.

[damnwinter]

I remember my boyfriend once befriended a girl who I am sure didn't want him that way, but as soon as I came into the picture she intentionally started stepping on my toes quite a lot. She even went on a trip with him, alone, I think it was in our 2nd week dating... that was a blast. They were supposed to go with many people and when she found out no one could join she offered and showed up at the train station with a ticket :) now ain't that sweet.

[myTake Owner]

No offence but she sounds like an asshole

[damnwinter]

yes that's the point :D :D some of them are assholes :D

[M_A_X]

If you feel that way then you feel like women also shouldn't have male friends for the same reasons or else you're a bigot~

[RedThread]

This is why I can't date jealous or insecure girls. If I wanted more with a friend I would've pursued it in the past. Women are my friends because I don't want anything more with them. They may as well be genderless.

Insecurity isn't an appealing trait ladies.

[JayB124b]

And because girls will often be friends with guys to keep them as a "back up boyfriend" in case their current relationship fails. So they naturally assume guys do the same thing.

[Lonewolf_1296]

You forgot to mention insecurity, which is the very root of jealousy.
Trust issues? Insecurity. Perceives other girls as threats? Insecurity. Feels jealous? Insecure.
The problem with using that word is that makes the person look weak while the other "possibilities" (aka pseudonyms) make them look like victims.
I'm insecure=I'm weak.
I have "trust issues"= don't blame me, I was born this way.

[Tarvold]

All this is yet another symptom of shitty parenting on a massive scale.

[Ryan193]

because she loves you, she cares about you, she wants to be the only one that you pay attention to.. and probably don't wanna lose you..

[Outofthegrey]

It seems like this is an insecurity issue, not anything else.

[samhradh_leannan]

My ex boyfriend left me for a female friend of his. I was stupid enough to give him a second chance after he "changed his mind" (really she rejected him and that's why he came back to me). And then he did it again with a different girl who he was also friends with.

Our relationship was long distance and it wasn't perfect, but we were together for three years before this happened and we had been extremely committed.

I know this was just one guy and one relationship. But can you blame me if I'm a little paranoid?

[Outofthegrey]

@samhradh_leannan Yes, I can. A singular experience is not conductive of the whole, and personal bias ruins objective analysis.

[samhradh_leannan]

Logically, I understand that. But I'm only human. It's natural to be affected by traumatic, painful experiences.

[Bandit74]

Iil just say whay girls normally say to guys when they post stuff like this.

You're insecure and controlling. Grow up! 😝

[I_am_repulsive]

Trust is a biggie for both gender and if you don't have that then that relationship is probably not going to last

[red324]

What I thought girls couldn't have guy friends when they had a bf? That's what all the girls tell me? So they lied?

[GreatnessPersonified]

"Why your girlfriend is jealous of the girls you're friends with"

... ... ... the fuck?

[James19]

maybe because she fears losing me. thats good

[starryeyedkitten]

Never been jealous of that. thank goodness!

[BackInGame]

competition. for a hot guy.