I was working on a hefty take last week that I was intending to be a hard-hitting topic that would get the discussion going … and I accidentally xed it out, declined to save it because I thought it was another document that I actually intended to close.
FML.
I still plan on rewriting it but considering it is a little strenuous and will take me some time I decided that on this snowy Monday I would put out a light-hearted, fun take that features the most orphic topic of them all: ME.
I always love watching random facts about me videos on Youtube because I feel like it’s always interesting to find out people’s quirks and all that good stuff. It’s interesting and fun to me so I figured I’d do one for you here today and see how well it does.
No reason for a lengthy explanation, I’m sure you get it: here’s 15 random facts about me. Also, I didn't include pictures with every header because ... well, honestly I got a bit lazy.
#1 – I love disgusting food challenges
Yes you read correctly: when the beanboozled challenge and the disgusting-canned food challenge came out I ate that shit up … quite literally in a few cases. I have this weird obsession with people eating gross stuff because all I can think is how badly I want to try it too, so I live vicariously through them. I never filmed it, but I have gone on to do the beanboozled challenge, the cinnamon challenge, the baby food challenge, and the baking soda challenge. I completed them all without spitting anything out or vomiting and earned the title amongst my friends as the girl with the iron stomach.
#2 – I’m not half as aggressive as people think I am
Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely opinionated in the regard that I have my opinions and I’m not afraid to voice them, but I’m not the kind of person who gets worked up over every person that disagrees with me, even if their views are radical. In every day situations, I typically just brush people like that off – hell I brush off pretty much every asshole that comes into contact with me. I don’t take my gloves off and give them what for – I shrug, laugh them off and move on with my day. Most people expect me to put my hands on my hips, wave a finger about and give every shithead what for, but honestly I just see that as a waste of my energy.
On the same token, that doesn’t mean I am incapable of being a bit aggressive, it just tends to take someone really pushing the boundaries for me to do so. For example: a man made a remark to my mother and I for carrying Taco Bell to her car, saying that women shouldn’t eat Taco Bell because it’ll ruin their figure. I very calmly said that men shouldn’t talk shit to women he doesn’t know because they might get mad and key his car.
He didn’t say anything back to me. He just looked at me and walked away.
#3 – In “horror” situations, I was always sent in first
I don’t know why, but as a 5’, 110 lb teen, every time my friends and myself found ourselves in intimidating or classic “horror” scenarios I was always sent in first ro “check it out.” Everybody seemed to think that I was the bravest person out of the group (really I was just the most rational) so if anybody ever heard a sound or saw something move, I was volunteered to go check it out first. And for some damn reason, I always did it.
#4 – I don’t like being told I’m hot
I don’t know what it is, but I just don’t really find “hot” to be a genuine compliment to get worked up over. Really, it just translates to being sexually appealing, which isn’t something I ever actively worry about, so that might be why I don’t feel flattered when people say it to me. If someone wants to make my day with a compliment then they can compliment me on the person I am, or say that I’m cute or beautiful – something along those lines is better for making an impression on somebody like me. If someone can only ever tell me I’m hot and nothing else, I assume they’re just interested in me sexually and not as a person.
#5 – I say my thoughts to myself under my breath
I never realized that I muttered my thoughts out loud until a few years ago when people began pointing it out. Whether I was walking around cleaning or just sitting on the bus, my lips were almost always moving and I was making sounds that sounded like I was almost whispering to myself. As it turns out, I often say my thoughts to myself in a barely audible tone. I attribute this to the fact that I have a very vivid and active imagination and often get lost in my head unless someone is engaging me.
I don’t do it as often now due to people pointing it out, but I still catch myself having an imaginary conversation under my breath from time to time.
#6 – I sleep with stuffed animals sometimes
I don’t just mean I sleep with stuffed animals on my bed, I literally mean I wrap a stuffed animal in my arms and I sleep with it. I can’t help it: I’m affectionate, I love to cuddle and hug and all of that cute stuff but I don’t have a person to do that with so my stuffies end up having to play little spoon with me when I go to bed at night sometimes. Besides, there’s still that childlike side to me that feels like my toys have souls and need love too.
Yes, I know, I’m a psycho.
#7 I don’t accept drinks at bars, ever
Now this isn’t just because of the whole threat of being drugged, I literally refuse to accept a drink any guy has bought for me at a bar for a few reasons. The main reason is that I pace myself when I drink, so I like to be in control of my own alcohol and don’t want to feel obligated to drink more than I should, and the other is that I already know that I’m going to probably reject this guy so I don’t see a point in his wasting the drink.
I have given up on the idea that there may be a worth-while guy at the bar. Go ahead, hate me for it, but I have never met a guy at a bar that ever turned out to be anything more than a dude looking for a casual hookup situation. With that said, I have met guys who seemed genuinely cool at the bar before, and a small handful of times let them buy me a drink. Each time ends the same though: the drink becomes leverage. If he says something offside, I can’t just get up and leave because he bought me a drink, so that would be rude. If I’m not interested in him I’m automatically a tease who just used him to get a free drink. The list goes on. But for all the reasons I mentioned, this is why I won’t accept drinks from guys at bars. Ever. Some people may say it’s rude, but I feel that if you want to buy someone a drink you should ask them first to begin with instead of assuming that they want it.
#8 I rarely talk in just my normal voice, even in normal conversation
I make voices. I make faces. I act like a goof. A lot of it is impulse, but the voices are definitely the most common quirk of mine that people notice. I don’t know what it is: I just love talking in goofy voices and I feel like whatever I have to say is better when I say it in a particular silly voice. Trust me, my parents will attest to it: I’ve been terrorizing them with voices ever since I could talk.
#9 – I don’t get offended when people fart in front of me
Yes, farts stink and can be gross, but they’re not particularly offensive to me. I mean, sure it’s a little crass if you just crack a huge one off when the waitress walks by, but in general if nature calls and you have to let er’ rip I literally don’t care. I was raised to believe that farts were funny – by my father of course – and that they were nothing to be ashamed of. So you can imagine that when one of my first boyfriends told me that girls didn’t fart my response was one of confusion, disbelief and a touch of sass:
Me: “…Do you fart from your dick?”
Boyfriend: “What?! No!”
Me: “Then why wouldn’t girls fart? Idiot….”
I don’t think I need to elaborate any further than that.
#10 – I avoid embarrassment by intentionally embracing myself
I don’t get how my psyche works but for some reason, in embarrassing situations, the only thing I can do to prevent myself from becoming embarrassed is literally making an ass out of myself. If I knock something over in the middle of a Walmart I will happily exaggerate my reaction to be something totally ridiculous or I’ll just put on my shades, raise up the devil horns and walk away like a boss. I call myself out when I do something stupid and I even admit to shit when people try to call me out on it. Somehow, acting like an idiot just makes it less embarrassing because it just becomes funny.
It’s proven to be a valuable “skill” for my friends as well in saving them from embarrassment, for example: one time, my friend and I were in the bus terminal waiting to take a long bus trip and she got the overwhelming urge to have diarrhea. Luckily there was no one in the bathroom, but it had an “open concept” doorway that made it possible for people near by to hear everything that was going on. So, I stood in front of the doorway and began loudly QUACKING to the tune of Abbot’s Dancing Queen. Everyone looked at my like I was crazy and my friend was able to peacefully have diarrhea without anyone being the wiser.
#11 – I’m obsessed with food
Yes, you read correctly, I am actually 100% obsessed with food. Let me explain: I have OCD and I used to have a severe eating disorder, so it will come to no surprise that I was unhealthily obsessed with what I ate and how much I ate. Even when I got better I still had this obsession with food: regardless of whether or not I’m eating healthy or eating like crap, I obsess over what I’m going to eat that day, when I’m going to eat that day, etc. Sometimes I obsess over it because I want to eat yummy food so bad, and sometimes I obsess over it because I want to be sure I eat the right things to prevent me from wanting to eat bad things. In multiple ways I am just obsessed with food.
#12 – I don’t like the way natural hair colours look on me
I was okay with being blonde and all, but I always felt like I was just meant to be born with electric orange, pink, or green hair. I just feel like I look so much better with vibrant hair, to the point that the idea of dying my hair brown makes me feel queasy. When I look back on old pictures of me sporting normal hair colours, I feel like I just don’t look as attractive as I do with vibrant, unnatural colours.
#13 – I don’t like my nose
I am pretty confident in myself and I think I’m really cute, but if I had to pick something that I didn’t like it would definitely be my nose. I don’t know what it is, but it just doesn’t seem to suit my face in my eyes. Top that with the fact I hit it really hard after tripping up a flight of stairs when I was young, causing it to look slightly crooked after. I have no idea if I broke it or messed it up somehow but it just didn’t seem to look the same after, so now it bothers me a little bit. Of course I’m hesitant to consider surgery because I’m not really one for altering my appearance, but I also am a huge wimp when it comes to pain, so chances are I’ll just be living with it.
#14 – I can’t get “excited” by somebody I don’t have an emotional connection with
No idea what you’d call this, but I literally can’t look at anybody sexually unless I really, really have a good emotional connection with them. It isn’t that they don’t look attractive to me, but I can’t find myself … er … aroused … by the thought of having sex with some hot guy just because he’s hot. It’s kind of gross and awkward to me for some reason. The only time I have ever been able to get excited by a guy is when I’ve formed a connection with him.
I know, I’m a prude, I’m lame. Blah-bitty-blah.
#15 – I have the weirdest dreams … no, seriously
Even the people who chronically have weird dreams tell me that I have weird dreams. I rarely share them because of how fucking bizarre they are, but the few people I have shared them with almost always look at me differently after. Literally, I won’t go into the lengthy details but all I will say is one of my dreams contained a thin man impersonating my father turning out to be a lesbian woman that wanted me and me discovering that I was actually a Southern black woman. My ex boyfriend was also hiding in our walls and in our roof, which my dad saw no problem with because there were “no weapons in there so it’s safe.”
Don’t ask. Just don’t.
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So there you have it ladies and gents, those are 15 random facts about me and boy-howdy are they ever the randomest. I hope you all got a kick out of it as much as I did and I look forward to seeing what you have to say in the threads below. Enjoy the rest of your week everybody! If you enjoyed this I may end up doing a part two, so be sure to let me know.
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