Why Arrogant A$$holes are Kinda Hot

[sherbearee]

I keep on seeing questions here asking "why girls like bad boys."

Girls keep responding "nice guys win."

Which is partially a lie.

Call him a jerk, asshole, douche, player, jock, or whatever; he's the guy who stirs up emotional disgust, and makes you want to hate him. Except for the fact that you're kinda attracted, whether you admit it or not.

Now, why?

He's off limits

People are actually attracted to a wide range of "types," but due to past experiences, society's expectations, and rational logic, we generally tend to veer towards a certain type of person. Such being said, when we start to have the feels for someone who doesn't conform to our normal "standards," said person becomes infinitely more appealing.

I mean, a "Do Not Touch" sign makes me want to touch it so much more.

He's different.

Sometimes we're just tired of the same shit, different day. So when a guy comes around promising something completely contrary to our norms, it's exciting. I mean love is love, hate is hate. By hating someone, you're putting in quite a lot of emotion - and thus quite a lot of attention.

The dilemma's infuriating.

He's confident

Well, duh. I've never met a cocky asshole who wasn't, well, cocky. Got to give it to them, though; they have self-esteem, and that's attractive. They're confident in their skin, and seem unfazed about others' opinions about them. As irritating as they are, their success in establishing dominance and living the life (even if they aren't) is appealing.

Knowing what you want is hard, sometimes.

He's a challenge

Lots of places, especially online dating sites, feel like a great big sausage fest. You can't deny that it's much more easy for the average female to find multiple suitors... So when one guy comes around playing hard to get, the catch becomes much more enticing. Even though his photos surrounded by girls are annoyingly disgusting, there'd be no complaining if the only girl there was you.

Is "the greater the effort, the sweeter the reward"?

---

Now please don't go around trying to newly styling yourself an "alpha." As cliché as it is, you are what you are, and feigned confidence or a fake personality are huge turn offs.

Just like how not all relationships work out, not all "bad boys" get the girl.

Secretely, we think that the "hot douchebag" will change, and become just "hot." That's not always the case, and that's when we regret not being with the nice guy. Lesson learned.

---

Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, and neither to all nitpicky specific situations. Feel free to input your opinon though

*Contrary to the first pic, though, don't smoke. No one finds yellow teeth and tar-filled lungs attractive.

[AleDeEurope]

It's so sad that this is mostly true. But what's even more sad, to the point where it's pathetic, it's when they end up crying because they bad boy hurt them... and then fall for another bad boy again xD

If you wanna go for bad boys, go ahead, but I refuse to be the one you go to once he dumps you, cheats on you, hits you, or whatever. And I also refuse to listen to you cuss every guy claiming we're all like that ONE guy.

Sorry ladies, but many of you are way too pathetic when it comes to dating, like seriously, open your eyes, mature, and see who you're dating.

[sherbearee]

"it's when they end up crying because they bad boy hurt them... and then fall for another bad boy again"
Yup. ^
I bothers me to no end when I hear "friends" of mine complain about the most recent "drama." You'd think they'd have learned a lesson, but alas, people don't. Least not for a few years.
When you say pathetic, I'm taking you mean both sides of the spectrum: one that's too shy and aloof, the other who makes horrible choices and throws themselves at everyone?

[ChocoLada]

Oh, I thought you are one of the bad boys ;)

[AleDeEurope]

@ChocoLada I was one of the bad boys, now I'm a mix, but in that mix there's no lying and playing with their feelings.

[sherbearee]

@AleDeEurope really? you always seemed pretty nice. What made you change?

[ChocoLada]

Cool, I like that mixture :D

[AleDeEurope]

I was like that back in MS-HS. Why? Because it was easy. I'm not gonna lie, but it was easy to get girls that way.
I wasn't a liar but I did flirt with almost every girl and didn't care too much about being with just one girl. I was always respectful, like I never insulted them or anything, not even close, but I just cared about me, and since girls liked it, then I kept doing it.

I changed because when I started growing up and maturing, I realized that wasn't the way to be. I still flirt a lot, but not the way I used to. Now when I'm with a girl, I'm more focused on her, than on myself.

[sherbearee]

That's really insightful, hopefully more "bad boys" realize one day.
Thanks AleDeEurope.

[AleDeEurope]

I hope so too.
You're welcome :)

[ClariceOwen23]

"Girls keep responding "nice guys win." Which is partially a lie."

"Except for the fact that you're kinda attracted, whether you admit it or not."

I'm sorry but if you think you can speak for me, there's no way I'm gonna take you seriously.

And the traits you described are not related in any way to being an asshole. These are traits that even "nice guys" can possess, and often do.

[skeptic007]

at least you don't fucking lie thank you

[sherbearee]

Sorry, correction: "nice guys always win" is the lie.
And I didn't mean it for everyone... "this doesn't apply to everyone," not sure if you read till there, but I apologize if you were personally offended.

Yes, "nice guys" can possess them (and I never said I had a preference for either), I just wanted to bring about another, more taboo, point of view.
Thanks for reading, though.

[ClariceOwen23]

Sorry I didn't read that last part

But I'm just saying that I know more assholes with low self-esteem than ones who are confident.

[krash2002]

I absolutely agree with your take, and find it pretty much spot on. This phase in womens lives seems to last anywhere between from the ages of 16-32. Most likely, it'll end much sooner than 32, but it can still linger on.

What you've said above, is something that I've experienced myself first hand. After being an overly nice guy in High School. I stopped caring about dating, and just focused on myself during my college years and a couple of years afterward.

After college, I had put on some muscle, and kept up my workout routine. Ended up snagging myself a very lucrative job, buying nicer things, and overall just not caring about dating. My focus was on work, and furthering my intelligence for my job. All the while making new friends, and traveling. This lead to sadly, but truly. Being the most successful time in my life with women.

During those 2 years of purely focusing on my work, and my own personal life after college. I had more women approach me, sleep with me, and overall. The women themselves asked me out, and wanted to become "more than friends" during that time frame. My confidence came from the knowledge I had built while studying to further my work at my day job, and my mysterious ways. Had come from inability to stick around for too long, because I was more focused on going to the gym, or going home to study for my next certification. Which all in all, made me seem like one of those "bad boys". Since I would disappear on them, end up studying all night, going to the gym, or just travelling overseas randomly and then reappear with a tan.

Now I'm married, and very happy with being so. My career is finally stable, and I'm exactly where I want to be. With those days of crazy adventures, long nights, expensive trips, and exhausting women behind me. Cutting back has become a joy, and I've really come to appreciate those "crazy/bad boy days". Though, I ended up residing back to my poetic pretense of my romantic side of what I was when I was once young. The years spent exploring the world (though my sins got the best of me sometimes), were incredible, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

[sherbearee]

Wow. Thank you so much for the story - it's awesome having someone first-hand tell their experience, rather than having passerbys judge,
I do agree that it's a phase, that most women realize, and that the "bad boys" eventually grow up.
Anyway, thanks for that, and the support

[abzence]

This is true for most women just as women having a nice body is attractive to most men.

What we are sexually attracted to and what we actually "like" are two different things. And what makes us want to have sex with someone all night long is not the same thing that makes us want to be in a loving relationship for the rest of our life with someone.

The bad boys have many traits that women don't "like" when it comes to having a loving long term relationship but they hope they can change him. Meanwhile he has all the traits that makes her sexually aroused. And there's the problem, if you want a relationship.

It's the same with men. The nice booty and boobs makes him sexually attracted but if her personality isn't what he is looking for then that body will soon seem boring. He will put up with her for a while because she is sexually attractive, just like girls put up with the bad boy.

It think some people have a problem to distinguish what they are sexually attracted to and what they actually like and want on a rational level. Some have an easier time realizing that it's just a sexual attraction and is content with getting just sex until finding someone who can fulfill all their needs. Some people think they are experiencing love when it's actually just a very intense sexual attraction.

[sherbearee]

And just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean that you'd consider being in a relationship with said person.
I really like this. Thanks for the input !

[Anonymous]

You remind me of a girl I dated in High school. Back then I was the typical arrogant jock. We were dating for about six months and things were fizzling out. We had a big fight at a party and she stormed outside, I went out after her fourty minutes later and a few beers after to find her being consoled by her nerdy whimpy next door neighbour who was like friendzoned for life, I got angry and blew up asking what the hell he doing with my girl and gave him a beat down ( not that he had a chance I just wanted someone to beat up). My girl waa screaming and crying for me to stop calling me all kinds of swear words. I went to leave and she was helping him up and apologising, I stood by the door of the car and her "im leaving, get your fat ass in the car!" She paused for a moment like she was going to say no but turned to the nerdy neighbour and said " im hoing to go with him". We fucked twice that night on my back seat and she was more turned on than she had been in a long time. The relationship lasted another year and everytime it got stale I started some shit. Best time of my life. I heard she married that nerdy neighbour guy after her husband left her and the kids and has gotten really fat. In conclusion women love a cocky arrogant bastard of a guy who creates drama.

[sherbearee]

That sounds like something straight out of a movie.
Similar people stick together, until one changes due to realization/what not. She ended up going with the guy you deem "wimpy and nerdy" after all.
Since you're telling me I remind you of that girl, I feel like I have to defend myself and say i would never actually be with such a guy. I simply wrote about them.

So how did YOU turn out?

[Opinion Owner]

Married a beautiful woman, kids, house grest job the works.

[sherbearee]

See so you turned out fine.
At some point, SOMETHING must have changed, I think people need to understand that

[Opinion Owner]

I became a father. Everything changes then, If you really someone and they give you a child that loves increases by like 10times.

[Opinion Owner]

And keeps growing.

[sherbearee]

That's really sweet.
I wish more people would see this. Why are you anon?

[Opinion Owner]

I have strong opinions that people dont always agree with and a habit of telling it like it is so offend sensitive people easily which is fine but annoying when you try to answer a question and write out an answer only to find you have been blocked by someone who you disagreed with previously or someone who just didn't like an answer on someone elses question. You can't block anonymous users.

[sherbearee]

I don't block people though.
I feel like the notion of blocking someone is quite stupid - I mean you can't simply "block" someone in real life simply for being in disagreement.

[kxera]

Meh. I don't think being an asshole makes you "different".

The real reason I think many girls may be attracted to the bad boy type is because they like the idea of fixing people. Movies constantly romanticize the broken bad boy falling for the sweet girl, and this is subconsciously absorbed and internalized. Also, from a recent question I asked, a majority of girls said they were the nurturing supporter type which is something I feel is a part of the female nature. We bare children and must nurture them, so we naturally want to do the same towards others. This sort of plays into the challenge.

[sherbearee]

That's true... thanks for pointing it out :)
Someone else here also said that women are likely to take on a "nurturing role," so I guess that ties into "fixing" someone

[ThisDudeHere]

1) Girls admit they like bad boys.
2) Girls go for bad boys despite common sense telling them not to.
3) Girls get screwed over and used by bad boys.
4) Girls complain about men being pigs.
5) Girls ignore good guys due to now thinking that all men are pigs.

Something makes me belive that a few months or years later you'll be writing a take about what you 'learned' from the mistakes you made from dating bad boys. Not like any of that could be deduced before doing something stupid.

[QuestionMan]

As if you were never interested in bad girls

[ThisDudeHere]

@QuestionMan nope. Never was.

[QuestionMan]

I guess to each their own.
Personally I was for a while until I came to my senses recently.

[ThisDudeHere]

@QuestionMan well I can't of course blame anyone for their attractions. To each their own as you said. But sometimes you can deduce that something is bad for you without even trying it.
I know smoking is bad and I haven't ever done it.

[QuestionMan]

I have to disagree on that one. Smoking is obviously bad for you while the idea of changing someone for the better seems plausible.

[ThisDudeHere]

@QuestionMan well for you perhaps. For me it's obvious that one shouldn't try to bother changing a bad girl/boy in to something better. Why when you can instead give decent folk a chance?

[QuestionMan]

Well throughout most of my life I've been surrounded by bad girls so I thought they were the only ones out there. I was left with no choice but to try and pursue and perhaps change them for the better. It is only recently that I've met women that have awesome personalities and are attractive (a huge rarity) which led me to reevaluate which girls I should be pursuing.

[sherbearee]

Yeah, that sounds about right in chronological order.
They don't "ignore" good guys, these same girls who go with the "bad boys" oftentimes aren't who most guys look for anyway. Similar people stay together: "bad" boys and girls.

Now why would I write a take about that? I haven't actually dated one, I don't think. I mean I've never
2) went for bad boys despite common sense telling me not to.
3) got screwed over and used by bad boy.
4) complained about men being pigs.
5) ignored good guys due to now thinking that all men are pigs.

[genuinlysensitive]

I thought this was going to be somewhat enlightening, instead it is more confusing than ever:

1. If he is "off limits" why is it you pursue him constantly?

2. He's not different. Assholes are a dime a dozen, especially since women throw themselves at assholes.

3. He is narcissistic, and lacks empathy. This isn't confidence, it is the lack of fear. He doesn't give a shit about you, so he isn't nervous at all about losing you.

4. A challenge? A shy guy is a challenge, as he is actually being hard to get. Obnoxious assholes who will fuck anything with a hole, are remarkably easy to get. "Hey I think you're hot wanna fuck?" "Let's go to my place!" That is not a challenge at all.

I think you are just trying to justify wanting bad boys, like a lot of women.

[sherbearee]

Well, I appreciate your opinions, sorry if the take sucked..

1. Because it's taboo. "Young, impetuous youth..." hmm, where have we heard that from? I think there are some modern implications with Romeo/Juliet. If it's something out of the ordinary, it's more desirable. Plus, in this context, "off limits" is referring to the boundaries which one sets for themselves, not a physical boundary or anything. Mental limits can stretch!
2. Not quite. Men might see all the assholes around them as the same lame idiot , but women aren't stupid enough to chase after EVERY one. Have you noticed that it's a select few of these "assholes" who get all the attention?
3. Fair enough. He probably is narcissistic and lacks empathy. But it's tempting to be the one who "changes him," if you know what I mean. Plus, at 15-25 ish, some people aren't looking for a stable relationship anyway - so breaking it off isn't a big deal. If you take a relationship with a player seriously, is you who's the idiot.

[sherbearee]

4. Challenge. Sure, shy guys are often really intelligent people, who carry interesting conversations. But because they're shy, they likely aren't the one to approach. Since women don't usually approach first (not saying that it's a good thing), the shy guys often get overlooked.
And "Obnoxious assholes who will fuck anything with a hole, are remarkably easy to get." not if the asshole has 10 women chasing after him at once.

I'm not trying to justify anything. I think gag lacks perspectives in certain areas, and I guess I'm the unlucky one who decided to bring one out.
I never did say I would be with a "bad boy."

[genuinlysensitive]

1. Testing limits you set for yourself? Why not go play in traffic? Its not like those limits are set to keep yourself from being hurt.

2. The number of assholes is really small, and loud, and yes they all get the attention, and the dates. Women would rather set up these guys with a side peice of ass than give another guy a chance at a real relationship.

3. Guys like that almost never change. Its thier pathology. You want to change a guy? Try turning a shy guy into the life of the party? But they won't because "changing" a man is just justification.

4. Yes he is easy, the only difference is the ORDER in which he will fuck those women, and then ghost them, or dump them.

[Araya]

Don't agree. Any rude arrogant bastard who is disrespectful doesn't become more attractive to me.

Not all of them are confident. Many are insecure and that's why they behave the way they do.

Many bad boys are considered physically attractive, but no matter how hot a guy is, if he's repulsive in personality, I'm not into him. I can concede that he is hot, but I'd rather gouge my own eyes out rather than be with him in any capacity.

As for the challenge part, I don't run after guys so there isn't a challenge. If you mean to get him to notice me, I'm not interested in disease-ridden fools or those who only think the best thing in life is to bed about 500 women.

I also don't think he's off-limits either unless if you're severely unattractive to him. He'll try to put his dick into any wet hole that turns him on.

[sherbearee]

I didn't mean it in the worst possible way - more like a stuck-up cocky person...
but yeah, there ARE guys who are genuinely over-confident. I personally wouldn't be with them, but that doesn't mean I'm not at all a bit attracted. Obviously there's a point of no return.
A completely agree with "I'm not into him. I can concede that he is hot, but I'd rather gouge my own eyes out rather than be with him in any capacity." This take was never to defend anyone, or my choices (I wouldn't date a guy whose personality was like that). It was just a different perspective.
Thanks for the input :)

[Jager66]

I don't think this bodes well for the future. Men by the millions either adopting the persona of an asshole with no fucks to give or men by the millions opting out of family/kids/career.

It's like a perfect storm of shit, women rewarding shitty behavior in men, laws punishing men for being responsible, media bashing men at every turn, Feminism continued war against the rights of men. Add to that the shit economic state that just won't end and likely won't for a long time and there is going to be a lot of male anger! Especially now that men are finding their voice through the internet where they can speak without risk of social destruction for having the nerve to stand up for them self's.

[Bliss-taylor]

I like your take. I agree. Also I'd like to add I think most teen girls and young women like the bad boys. I believe it's something you grow out of. Also I feel like tv and books kinda brainwash girls on this subject. I love to read romance. 99.9% of the time (especially in YA books) the guy is an asshole or /and dangerous that sooner or later falls madly in love with the main girl and she changes him. It happens in movies and shows just as much. These bad boys don't change for anyone ever. They might for a little but they move on quickly. The only time they really change is when they grow out of it, some never do. My husband has most of these qualities and the bad boy look but he is so good at heart he just came off as that type in the beginning.

[sherbearee]

I really agree how are influenced by what appears to be the "norm" around us... The idea of "changing" a guy is so romanticized, that it's no wonder girls, esp teens, really go for the "bad boy."
Thank you, and glad to hear that it worked out for you :)

[Albinoninja66]

I'm more of an arrogant asshole myself, but I'm also loyal as hell an never cheat or do any of that "bad boy" shit. I definitely admire the fact that you are straight up about this topic while many others choose the coward way out and deny it. Call me crazy, but I don't veiw the world through the same black and white lens that many other people do. I actually enjoy the gray area that many ignore and I recognize that everything is not just "good" or "bad". Even the "bad" things have good qualities and usefulness.

[sherbearee]

Thank you :)
And i definitely agree with the grey area. I never see things as one or another, I find things are more fitting on a spectrum. Gag lacks alternate points of view, anyway.

[Bandit74]

At least you're honest.

Of course it doesn't apply to everyone but the cliche that "girls want a bad boy who can be good just for her" while "guys want a good girl who can be bad just for him" has a lot of truth to it in my opinion. Well depending on how you define those terms anyways.

I do disagree with this tho
"Now please don't go around trying to newly styling yourself an "alpha." As cliché as it is, you are what you are, and feigned confidence or a fake personality are huge turn offs."

I think guys should look at what works and try to emulate it. Why should they wait on the sidelines for the girls to get tired of chasing the arrogant assholes.

[sherbearee]

I agree with your first point, about the cliche. But the "bad" for boys and "bad" for girls is defined differently in my head, and i idealized "bad boy" in the sense that the guy was confident and spontaneous, not risky and dangerous. Each to their own

Sure, learning from what's proven to work is beneficial. But emulating something that goes completely against one's normal personality is notable - and it can be awkward (from my (albeit little) experience).
Not all girls end up chasing these guys, too. I said I found them attractive, but I still wouldn't go for them if I was serious. Neither would many girls. Why? Because they're assholes, afterall.

[Bandit74]

(But the "bad" for boys and "bad" for girls is defined differently in my head)
I agree 100%, the good/bad refers to different things in each analogy.

Its not possible to be anyone but yourself, if they are able to make the transition then they had it in them all along and thus, its not unnatural.

Not all girls but A LOT do. They are definitely more successful so its beneficial to at least emulate a few of their characteristics.

[sherbearee]

"Its not possible to be anyone but yourself, if they are able to make the transition then they had it in them all along and thus, its not unnatural."

So do you believe that one's personality can completely change, in favor of one in which they think will make them more successful?

[Bandit74]

The "you" you are right now is different from the you 1 year ago, different from the "you" 5 min ago. They're all you just at different points in time.

I believe if someones personality changes over time its still them and its proof that they had that part of them hidden within anyways.

[sherbearee]

But I feel like if I strictly tried to impose a specific trait upon myself, I wouldn't be able to pull it off. That's what I meant
If it's a natural change, then you're right, we're always changing.
Thanks for the comments:)

[singlebee]

I think I feel the same way about bad girls/sluts..

They are hot and we think that we can get really good sex for them... And all but then you realize these girls are not what we want for long term...

They are only good for sex...

But anyways nice take... But I neither good nor a douchbag...
So I guess it makes me hot! Haha

But I hope girls realize these douchbag guys are not for long term... you know after all there are so many single mothers out there! I would say bad choice of partner for sure LOL

[sherbearee]

"But I hope girls realize these douchbag guys are not for long term"
precisely. People should be aware of who they're getting with... and what their motives are
Thanks for the support haha

[singlebee]

Welcome !

[RJGraveyTrain]

I can't stand arrogant assholes. I literally cannot stand guys who have no sense of perception or care for others or who treat others badly. This take definitely doesn't apply to me. Maybe to other girls but this guy you described literally disgusts me.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I should say though: this was still well written so good on you for that. You definitely made a good argument on the subject.

[sherbearee]

That's fair. I couldn't imagine being with one myself. But it's just another perspective i thought gag was lacking in.

and thank you :)

[RJGraveyTrain]

You're welcome.

[IcyBastet]

I agree with you RJGraveyTrain

[RJGraveyTrain]

Thanks @IcyBastet

[Anonymous]

It's horrible how women can encourage this kind of bad behavior... It's truly SICK. Women are notorious for liking violent thugs and criminals. They think about being raped, beaten, dominated, belittled and overall abused. This gets them wet because they are perverts. They hate guys who ask for consent and are nice.

They do not want you GOOD SIR!! Can it be a coincidence that women have ALWAYS been condemned as evil? ha ha ha... Sorry, but I'll never be bad and abusive no matter how much you encourage it. For the sake of all that is good WOMEN MUST BE CONTROLLED!!

[Opinion Owner]

Look at the male dominated society of the early 1900s. How it was so prim and proper... everyone was encouraged to be polite.

Now look at us. Putting each other down because of women. Every fucking night party is about getting laid... fighting like dogs and even with our own friends. This won't last long... it has never lasted

[sherbearee]

So you say "I'll never be bad and abusive no matter how much you encourage it"
Yet: "For the sake of all that is good WOMEN MUST BE CONTROLLED!!"

So how do you propose to control women, Good Sir?

[Opinion Owner]

It's only "bad" to control women if you're a feminist. That said, confining women is a precautionary measure, not done out of MALICE, but instead out of fear for safety of society. Women should be corrected, not out of MALICE, but for the sake of preserving all that is good.

Even women were happier, back in the good old days, when women didn't go to school or have careers. All this EVIL of putting other men down and fighting like dogs over women would STOP and so would other untold evils brought by women into society.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I don't support freedom & equality of women.

One of the reasons being precisely THIS (how you encourage bad behavior)

[sherbearee]

Im not encouraging bad behaviour - just voicing another point of view.
You should start looking at things in an alternate point of view. Sorry, but society won't be turning back, as much as you want it too.

Now why are you anon? If you were proud of your opinions, why don't you let people know the mastermind behind all these theories?

[Opinion Owner]

Theory? I'm stating FACTS. Just to please you, men go to all kinds of lengths... and idolize the BAD BOY... the ASSHOLE... the JERK... because you mainly give them pussy and not the nice guys.

That's just one of the reasons why women's liberation is such a bad thing

[sherbearee]

you sound like a salty human, who's probably a pretty nice person behind that screen.

and you still haven't come off anon

[Opinion Owner]

Also notice how it's ok and even fashionable to do crazy-making of men by calling us salty/bitter/creeps/losers/pervs/weirdos... but if men did the same to women we would be heavily condemned. Men are demonized in every scenario.

Women's liberation has brought nothing but abhorrent sexism and destruction of society.

[sherbearee]

Here's where I agree with you. I hate it when girls go around calling men left and right "creeps" etc.
but I don't agree "Women's liberation has brought nothing but abhorrent sexism and destruction of society."

[Opinion Owner]

You're just another holocaust denier. Men are not just second-class citizens by law, but also by institutions and social standards. Men are FACTUALLY OPPRESSED in the west. There is rampant discrimination against us BASED ON SEX.

And we tell the non-western world they are bad? LOL. We are equally bad in many cases and worse in some. We just claim to support equality, but actually we are woman-worshippers

[sherbearee]

anything else to get off your chest?

[Opinion Owner]

typical woman. You are insensitive to the humanity of men

[KawaiiPie67]

Bad boys can come off as really hot. It's just that I've found out over the years that they're all huge toddlers! I hate that. But if I could find one that was actually mature, I couldn't say I wouldn't want to date him. I'd nvr be with an abusive guy. When I say bad I just mean that he breaks the social rules, but he's not stupid enough to break the law or wreck his life.

Nice guys can be unattractive because they act in a more stupid and toddlerish way than lots of bad guys do. Like they always follow all the rules and never do anything for themselves.

[KawaiiPie67]

And I think a lot of girls don't like to admit to the attraction, because if U like such an immature guy it's like saying all of your morals don't matter. But I think nice guys can be worse and more fake with morals and everything.

[Prof_Don]

How is "always following the rules" considered a negative trait?

[KawaiiPie67]

@Prof_Don because in the society we live in, people who follow the rules get scammed a lot. Like the guy who does everything right, and then his wife takes the kids and almost everything from him by divorcing. I don't want a naive guy who doesn't understand the laws or how people think.

[Prof_Don]

That makes sense to me. 👍

[TayTay21]

Well, I agree about the attraction of bad boys, but I disagree about nice guys getting scammed a lot. *Naive* people get scammed, but naive and nice are two different things.

[26ukdude]

Well enjoy the thrill when you are young because most of these men will make terrible husbands and fathers. I've seen so many mytakes about girls regretting being involved with these types of guys, and lost count of the women in their 30's saying to me personally on POF and tinder, that they wished they hadn't been involved with them when they were younger.

[sherbearee]

"Well enjoy the thrill when you are young because most of these men will make terrible husbands and fathers."
I agree, exactly why I could never be with one.

[Lolomon]

Sorry, I was just staring at shemar Moore's beautiful face. Lol, I uses to love arrogant guys when I was a teenager, now not so much. however, I do find cockiness attractive, in a weird way and cocky guys aren't all assholes. But he would need to be somewhat of an asshole because I kind of am too lol

[sherbearee]

Yeah.. i got distracted half way through googling shemar moore...
aha that's funny XD and i agree that cocky guys aren't ALL assholes.

[RomansToPhilemon]

I'm a nice guy and I possess all of these qualities. Does that mean I am actually a bad boy? or seen as one? I don't think any of my female friends who call me a bad boy.

But I do have some best friends who are assholes and possess these traits too. They usually don't have a problem with women either so... maybe it's the traits and not the attitude/persona.

[sherbearee]

It IS the traits!
That's what i've been trying to get to, it's not the fact that they're "bad" or whatever, but it's certain qualities they posses... I mean not every person who possesses these are "bad," while most "bad boys" don't posses these, and thus are't the ones who girls find attractive.

[RomansToPhilemon]

Yeah, but people who are maybe a little bit more shy or meek shouldn't be ignored as much as they are. They have stuff to offer too I think. Too bad women ignore them all so often. Oh well, I know we don't and won't ever live in a perfect world. At least not in this age, but the next.

[CoolSky01]

you're right , everything you wrote in this take is 100% correct and i know from my own experiences , but you got one thing wrong , badboys are not succeesful ,( as in they usually have shitty jobs, lower quality of lives and are uneducated ) but apart from that being an ass from time to time , not giving attention and sounding like a cocky little bitch does make you appealing to girls

[sherbearee]

I agree, many are not successful. However, they make up for it my adopting the "bad boy" attitude. I never said they were successful, only " success in establishing dominance and living the life (even if they aren't)"
but thanks for the support aha.

[CoolSky01]

I just have one question , how bad is good? i mean sure playing hte part and being a badboy works but how mcuh is too much? for example i know a guy who calls every single girl a slut/whore and doesn't respect anyone , and i mean literally no one, he fights with his friend, girlfriend he is the extreme end of the word badboy and iwas wondering how much is too much? cause i know a girl who got enough of him and she was like" fk it iam gone "

[sherbearee]

For me, it's the spontaneous, adventurous, confident part of "bad," as you prob would have guessed. It's a turn off when it becomes seriously dangerous, player-like, and irresponsible..

[RainbowFanGirl]

Lol, am I the only one who doesn't like assholes in general? I like nice guys with a sense of humor who can be "bad" in bed. I've gotten screwed over so much by assholes that I just avoid them all together.

Anyways nice take. They can be attractive for these reasons though. Like a small flame that attacts moths or some shit, but when they get too close they get burned. ;)

[sherbearee]

Aha I don't like them either (and girls here have blatantly stated their opinion), just another point of view.
That's good though, experience and all. Thanks for the opinion :)