How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day

XNicholeMariex3

See all those couples being all eeewwwwie and lovey dovey? Yeah.... GET OVER IT!


1. GO BUY YOURSELF SOME ROSES!!!


If you can't afford to buy yourself some roses then GO PULL SOME FLOWERS OFF OF YOUR NEIGHBOR'S ROSE BUSH WHEN THEY'RE NOT LOOKING but wear some gloves dude because you don't want to get an owie okay.... Owie's hurt really bad and you'll have to get your mom to kiss it all better and that isn't cool man.


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day


2. MAKE YOUR MOM BUY YOU CHOCOLATE.


I mean, that way if someone asks you if you had a valentine, you can say yes... It'll just be your mommy. Plus you will have chocolate to eat your feelings away. :D


Or throw them at the tv.


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day


3. GO HUG YOURSELF AND TELL YOURSELF HOW SEXY YOU ARE!


Even if you don't believe it...


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day


If you tell me you're not, the love gods will push you into a fountain!


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day


4. ASK YOUR GRANDMA TO COVER YOUR FACE IN LIPSTICK KISSES


AND RUN AROUND TOWN SCREAMING FOR HELP. This will make you look like the total ladies man.... maybe you'll get lucky LOL


...or have you sent to the loony toon farm.... try it and see.


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day


5. YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT BAD ASS AND YOU DON'T NEED NOBODY


Except your mommy or daddy or maybe your dog... turtle...


But seriously, it's like any other day of the year. Learn to appreciate your own existence. You don't need someone else to remind you of how awesome you are. ;)


How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day

How To Not Cry On Valentine's Day
57 Opinion