Why Guys Aren't Approaching You

[Anonymous]

You're a pretty girl. You're smart, you're nice, you're well-rounded, but it seems like the good looking, nice, datable guys never approach you. Why?

Here are 11 reasons you're not getting approached.

1) You're Confident

A lot of people say that being confident is sexy. And they're right. But it's also intimidating. A girl that gives off that "I don't give a fuck" attitude can make a guy think she'll just turn him down.

2) You Have Resting Bitch Face

Resting bitch face is a real thing and it can also make guys think you're angry, and not in the mood to be flirted with. Or just angry at people all together.

3) You Don't Smile Often

Similar to resting bitch face, not smiling often, can mean you're not happy, and people are generally more approachable when they're happy.

4) You're Opinionated

Being opinionated can be intimidating for guys. It's good to have opinions, but when you're constantly shoving them down peoples throats it can make you seem aggressive.

5) You're Far From Average

Somehow, it's easier to approach someone who is like everyone else. If a guy sees a girl wearing Uggs and holding a starbucks and a girl in pink jeans and listening to Woodie Guthrie he'll probably approach the girl in Uggs, because she'll seem simpler, and easier, and because it's well known territory for him. An eccentric and different girl can just feel scary.

6) You're Always Doing Something

Guys are typically detered from asking a girl out if she's constantly busy or always with friends. He feels like you'll be too busy to hang out and he could get the impression that you probably have tons of other guys you can hang out with. He also feels more likely to be turned down.

7) You Have Lots of "Frenemies"

Having lots of Frenemies can make you seem like a fake person, and guys don't want to be around a fake girl. Even being nice to someone everyone knows you don't like can give off a bitchy vibe, which is also a bit of a guy repellant.

8) Always Being Alone

Being comfortable in your own company is a great thing, but much different than being busy all the time, it can give the impression that you just want to be by yourself and don't want anyone to bother you.

9) You've Turned Down Guys Before, and Everyone Knows

Whether you're in high school, Uni, or a large workplace, word spreads fast. A guy you're interested in could hear once that you turned another guy down and feel like you would just do the same to them, so why bother?

10) You Use Your Phone as a Comfort Zone

Body language is an important role in flirtation. If you're sitting near a guy who's interested in talking to you and you pretend to use your phone as to not look awkward (we've all been there), he may think you're too engrossed in whatever you're doing to talk.

11) Speaking of Body Language

Corssing your arms, turning your body in a different direction, and tapping your hands or feet can all be psychologically turning him away, because he'll feel like you don't want him around or he's boring you.

Now not every one of these things are bad qualities to have, and you shouldn't change yourself to get a guys attention. This take at first glance can appear to be tips on how to get a guy, but that is not my goal here. This is to show you that it isn't anything necessarily you're doing wrong or necessarily anything to do with how you look, there are so many things that can scare a guy off that have nothing to do with who you are and how beautiful you are. So if that cute guy at the coffee shop doesn't ask you out, don't sweat it, you probably just intimidated him, because you're awesome. Eventually there will be a guy that's brave enough to see these intimidating things and overcome them, better yet, love them. So keep doing what you're doing, because you're just scaring the wrong ones away.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Please be confident girls!! For the love of god DO NOT read those first couple paragraphs please.

If a guy gets afraid of a confident girl, he probably lacks the balls to talk to girls in the first place

Other than that, great take! :)

[myTake Owner]

If you'll read the bottom it explains that confidence is a good thing, and not to change yourself. Scaring away the guys who "lack the balls" is a good thing.

And thanks!

[ConsultantIsBack]

Good point
Touche
Forgive me lol

[myTake Owner]

Lol no problem ;P :)

[findingdreamland]

I think first one is true for me. I am very confident about myself. And I show it. This is intimidating i guess.

[M_A_X]

If you really want to find Dreamland, you should follow Kirby

[AleDeEurope]

True. The resting bitch face is the worst one of all cause you're gonna have it all the time you're not smiling. I know that cause I have a resting bitch face xD

Another point would be headphones. If I see a girl with headphones, I won't approach, cause I think she doesn't want to talk to anyone. It's just like being on your phone.

Nice take, though I would have also encouraged these women to approach themselves. There's nothing wrong in a girl approaching, and it's better for them, cause they're the ones choosing.

[ChocolateIceCream]

11 reasons why guys aren't approaching you -
your ass doesn't look good in them jeans
you can't make the booty clap
your shirt is covering your bum
you don't have a butt
you need to squat
you're not wiggling your butt enough when you walk
you don't bend over in front of guys to pretend pick something up
you aren't twerking enough
you have a flat bottom
you need apple bottom jeans
you need to learn to work that turd cutter

[Mooochi]

OMG!! I'm done!! Lolol

[ConsultantIsBack]

Hahaha 😂😂😂

[alphadoggystyle]

the examples you brought up as to when we won't approach you are good, however the underlying reason is true for some guys, but for many guys including myself, its not that we are intimidated at all by you. Its more about that we dont want to put ourselves in a situation where failure seems likely, so wasted effort, and we also dont want to give any girl who seems arrogant an opportunity to reject us and act as if she is to good for us and increasing her ego at the same time (and there are many arrogant girls in this generation of people, especially among attractive girls)

Personally a woman could never intimidate me unless she had a gun or knife and was trying kill me with them, but even a kid with a gun or knife would be kind of intimidating so that means nothing essentially.

[myTake Owner]

Being afraid of a woman rejecting you is being intimidated... lmao

[alphadoggystyle]

you're wrong as im not afraid that a woman would reject me, its just not worth the effort if we think she is going to reject us for sure, a waste of time, if i think there is a chance even if is small i would approach, as im not afraid of rejection.

so no, myself and many of us in general are not intimidated by women.

[Jibaku]

My attitude to interpersonal interactions and attraction can be summed up as:
"Without any doubt, be yourself to the best of your ability. You'll attract the people who like you for who you are and either highlight or dispel the people who don't"

Oh and face your fear of talking to people.
I've found that as long as I approach people openly, without judgement or opinion and without expectation then I get a pleasant response.
Sometimes interactions are pointless conversations on a bus, sometimes deep conversations with a stranger in a pub, sometimes they lead to friendships or relationships, to love and loss, sometimes to a new way of thinking or new experience/s.

[benthurber]

All this fits under the super-category of:

You. Are. Not. Available.

Everything you say and do is confirming this and the guys who are approaching you are typically one of two types, 1) Just wants sex or a no-strings relationship. You may not be available but they see you as convenient; because you are. 2) Desperate guys who have no game to crack your shell.

I swear if there were a day, just a day where men and women switched bodies and sexuality, men would make better and more successful women.

[Anonymous]

Biggest one that you failed to mention:

ALWAYS IN A GROUP WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

I don't approach women when they are in groups. I've done it before and if 1 of your other female friends isn't feeling the guy, you all don't like the guy. That group think mentality doesn't help.

[lonerider]

AMEN TO THAT

[skeptic007]

1) women aren't confident there cocky
2) yes the resting bitch face does exist
3) doesn't matter that much
4) I like opinions with evidence too back it up which most women don't do '
5) no it's just most hot girls cheat end of story
6) yes that is annoying
7) 100% true
8) being alone is a good thing more people more problems a small group is fine
9) this is true when women do this too often all we see is a girl that thinks she is better than men in general
10) I don't waste my time on girls who are on the phone all the time
11) not gonna lie don't notice body language at all lol

[myTake Owner]

You sound like a guy whose been turned down a lot 😂

[skeptic007]

not really I ask for sex and girls say yes
also you're not even 18 I've had way more sex than you
so please stop lol

[myTake Owner]

Omg 😂😂😂 You're actually 12 right? Next you'll be throwin' out "yo mama" jokes 😂😂

[skeptic007]

and im done with you

[myTake Owner]

😂😂

[Mooochi]

Wow, a lot of this applies to me. Haha
I think that when a woman presents herself in a rather respectful manner, it's intimidating for them they probably think we're going to be a bitch. I'm not a bitch when guys talk to me, I'm just extremely sarcastic and go complete savage on them if I have to.

[thewanderingme]

#4 doesn't make sense. he won't know that until after getting to know her a bit.

for me, I imagine the fact I almost always have my ear phones in and the rarely smiling thing is why most of the time.

[myTake Owner]

For that one I was thinking more along the lines of someone in your friend group that you don't really talk to, so someone who knows of you and knows what you're like around people

[KRIEL55]

i do get how these make sense, but honestly there are problems with each one. you basically described me in these. and i dont have problems getting approached.
i dont understand why someone would pretend to be a bit self conscious, always smile like an idiot, be basic, get along with everyone, rarely reject anyone so there's no history of that, and be all about your body language, just to attract a guy who is most likely just as basic and boring.

[myTake Owner]

Read the bottom paragraph

[KRIEL55]

oh okay, my bad, i read all of them but when i got to the last one i just figured its all about body language. yeah your right

[myTake Owner]

Okay cool, sorry if it came across that way for the majority of it

[the_rake]

Haha, I've often been pleasantly surprised by talking to the ' resting bitch face' girls. Probably everyone's first impression is that she is a bitch so when they meet someone who thinks differently, they are pleasantly surprised.

[LionlyRose]

Some are true bitches tho, totally unfunny. One can't tell which is which unless you do the approaching.

[the_rake]

@LionlyRose true. As someone that did a LOT of PUA daygame, I can confirm you will bump into both very nice women and total bitches. I think I have approached roughly 1000 but this is approximate. I don't have the will power for it now though which is a shame because I want to approach more casually.

[LionlyRose]

I understand some girls have naturally that face expression but meh, most I've met are completely humorless, could be because I didn't like them too. Anyways, I like to enjoy my approachings so I want a girl with a "approachable" expression on her face. I tell the most stupid things sometimes so it helps if the girl have some sense of humor. But then again if the girl likes you she will probably laugh at whatever you say xD

[the_rake]

I understand the sentiment.

[YourFutureEx]

Oh. My. God. This take is so true. Every. Single. Fkin. Point.

No way you can be under 18. I'm not saying that teens can't be that ingenious, but the points you made require a lot of years of experience.

Every girl on the planet should read this.

*claps*

[Darkbrunette96]

I'm confident always smiling never have a resting bitch face or do any of these things. I don't have a boyfriend or have ever been asked out it bothers me I know it's not important or anything but I'd like to know why guys never ask me out. I get tons of looks at school I am told I am really pretty all the time. I am humble and not mean or conceited maybe the guys I like are unsure of themselves or afraid of rejection?

[Conrad_Kelsiven]

One thing this take didn't cover was actually having an opinion.

I don't like talking to a brick wall, no matter how well decorated it is. There are a lot of pretty girls out there, but I love it when I run into one that has a real hobby or passion.

[Darkbrunette96]

@Conrad_Kelsiven I am aware of that and don't care. :)

[Conrad_Kelsiven]

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

As a girl with super resting bitch face, I have never been approached by a guy I didn't know. I'm actually really nice, but everyone thinks I'm mean/scary because of my resting face

[myTake Owner]

Same girl, same lol

[Touglyforfemales]

Just don't look bitchy case closed

[Opinion Owner]

@Touglyforfemales and how am I supposed to do that? Never relax my face? Great advice.

[Touglyforfemales]

Just smile more or don't look pissed off all the time ha ha ha

[John_Doesnt]

The "sitting alone" is actually better to get approached by guys. Most guys will avoid approaching a girl in a crowd of her friends for fear of offending the other girls or the guy is just worried her friends will blow him off.
Also, the resting bitch face is hot. I want to approach her.

[Dandeus]

She said "always sitting alone." which is correct in my opinion. If I see a girl who *never* talks to *anyone* I get the impression that she's antisocial and not very friendly.

[John_Doesnt]

@Dandeus how do you know she's always sitting alone unless you're stalking her?

[Dandeus]

You don't have to stalk a person to recognize faces at school or at work, and that's where a ton of people meet.

[John_Doesnt]

@Dandeus if he's paying enough attention to her to know that she's "always alone" he's probably interested in her anyway. And like I said it gives guys an excuse to talk to her so she won't be alone anymore.

[Dandeus]

Um, no. Some people are simply observant of their surroundings. I recognize the huge majority of people in my workplace and who I see them socializing with on a regular basis. I also recognize the people who I never see socializing with anyone.

[meatballs21]

I agree with all of it except number 5. A girl who has a unique look is much more interesting than yet another girl in Uggs drinking Starbucks. Anyone can follow those trends, but it takes a unique person to create their own look and show it to the world. I'd look at her and wonder about all the cool new stuff she would introduce me to.

[Anonymous]

How dare you sully the good name of Woody Guthrie!
I'm willing to bet my left testicle that no girl wearing pink pants has ever listened to Woody Guthrie.
Any girl who did have the musical chops to listen to Woody I would ask out on the spot. And I haven't bothered to ask out a girl out in 6 years.

[Opinion Owner]

...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s76mkRRGPZA&sns=em

...

[myTake Owner]

I wear pink pants and listen to Woodie Guthrie. Your argument is invalid.

[Opinion Owner]

Well cheers to you, I owe you a testicle lol.
I concede to you good lady, and raise my glass to you; we can defeat the fascists- with pink pants in the ranks! 😋

[myTake Owner]

Lmao Cheers

[Anonymous]

Nice take! It's interesting and well-written.
I just realized that the site is now changing 8 + ) to a sunglasses face 8)

[myTake Owner]

I realized that too lmao and thanks!

[Jackblue]

Actually I think that being alone will not hurt a girl's chances as much as being with female friends all the time. I think men generally believe that when women are in groups they aren't interested in being hit on and for many girls that is probably true.

[LittleSally]

5, 6 and 8 > totally me... o. O
So... yeah... Awkward. xD

[Sixgun77]

5 is the best one! I pretty much always have the most interested in women who don't look average or normal. Unnatural hair color, tons of tattoos and piercings, fishnets, leather, black eye makeup, all that good stuff. Unfortunately I'm pretty average looking myself, so they're usually not interested.