Throw A Player A Twig But Give A Trunk To The Shy Guy. An Article On Shy Men For The Ladies

SHYMEN101. Pow.

I know the aggressive males are so appealing to a female, because it fits the media or propaganda projected image of what a man ought to be. You get one, and too often their brains are just full of jello. They're delicious, but not NUTRITIOUS. Too often we reach for the 99% fat ice cream when we have frozen yoghurt around us – healing us when our hearts get stomped on, hugging us when our tears become worthless.

Sometimes, who we end up with, isn't really the 'ideal' we thought was perfect for us :) ... sometimes, they're right next to you. All you need is COURAGE, and hopefully, this article is a good double dosage!

I'll tell you a little secret. Shy men, are GEMS.

Babe, if you like a shy guy, realise they're called shy for a reason. WEAR THE PANTS.

Behind that glass demeanor, the sweaty palms, is a witty, ROMANTIC and intelligent human being WAITING to be saved from LONELINESS. He is the guy that will love you for simply you, even if you're wearing track pants or have a steak sauce (A1) stain down your top. It is unconditional.

I can tell you this: If you're a SMOTHERER - they're a perfect match. They CRAVE affection. Shy men, won't vom or LEG IT at your overwhelming affection. They feed off it.

Help the poor fella out. They need more - FORWARD HINTS. Normally, a normal guy will notice a twig and bite, shy men NEED A TREE TRUNK worth to gain the same courage … to even touch you.

DO NOT THINK HE IS SETTLING FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE WORK. Heck, think, the only way he is ever going to get a girl is if he gets approached by one, and WHEN YOU DO SO, you're doing what he wants. Yes, you are vulnerable, and yes, under normal male circumstances - you're throwing yourself at him - but he ISN'T NORMAL (in a bloody good way). He finds your vulnerability AN APHRODISIAC.

YOU = SAUCY MINX. So, JUMP.

Now, they're a peculiar specimen. Let me explain.

NO GAMES. Shy men, the large portion of them, are inexperienced, 'nice guys'. They often are too scared to make a move in fear of rejection due to insecurities - which we see as appealing (as in a way, our flaws are what makes us 'perfect' and unique). Too often they end up rotting in the 'friendohmygashnosex' category - because they're afraid to take the TEENY step to push the relationship to the next level ... and because of their INDIFFERENT DEMEANOR, too often women (who, come on, are still pretty old fashioned and like to be asked out) see as a sign of DISINTEREST. This is absolute BULL.

Don't get me wrong, they're insecure but THEY ARE NOT WEAK. For some reason, we (ladies) forget that they ARE MEN. THEY HAVE THE DESIRES EVERY PRIMAL MALE HAS. URGES. CRAVINGS that need to be satisfied. Their hormones have been buzzing since a young age too. Imagine being in 'HEAT' and having your legs BOUND together ... they're literally CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGONS. Sex with a shy guy is the last thing you should be worried about.

They're wise, because they seek out strong (honey, you're stronger than you realise :)), beautiful, independent women, and he gets a kick out of knowing that he has your heart and you have his. Mutual support. A beautiful partnership.

They are often introverted, in the sense that they compete against themselves and beat their own personal bests. These are the men who will be stable enough to support you. Long term relationship material.

If the shy guy is REPLYING you (calls, text messages or even talking to you) HE. LIKES. YOU. Or he'd just swim away or disappear. The fact that he is communicating with you means that HE IS INTERESTED. They speak a lot with their EYES. So, whatever hunch you feel, it is ON THE SPOT. They DON’T play games. Black and white, simple and easy flowing partners to have.

We (ladies) need to realise that ROMANTIC love is TURBULENT, IMPERFECT, INCOMPLETE love (it is often limerence or the longing of an incomplete love). If happily ever afters weren't the end of fairytales - I bet you Cindy and Prince Charming wouldn't sound as flash. The TRUE LOVE - shy men can offer is PEACEFUL, TRANQUIL, FLOWING love, that is like a good WINE, only gets BETTER as it ages.

He will nurture you, as they are normally natural 'GIVERS'. Although, they may be reserved with showing affection, they may not be able to boast out loud how much they care, they'll show it through PASSIVE means (this requires listening to you and thought), being there when you need them, saying sensitive little comments to make sure he can see your beautiful smile, everyday.

Note - he isn't retarded. Don't treat him like one. Compliment with your HEART. BE YOURSELF. Because he'll love your inner freak (because he has one too - we all do) ... he is eager for your two secret worlds to blend into one. The intertwining of your imaginations will be truly beautiful.

It is worth it. So, PULL up your pants. Zip up that fly. And POUNCE. Like a cougar.

REOW.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • ... I honestly would say I'm to an extent still a shy guy, but I've come a long way in being more confident in taking a risk and going for it! Most of the girls I've liked are your independant, outgoing types.(cheerleaders, dance team members in high school.) But I also like the quieter types of girls too because they don't play a lot of the "Mind Games" (that I hate with a passion) that some more outgoing girls do. Also the quieter girls are usually more geniune when they like you, and you can..

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Meedo - agreed. not even identical twins are the same. we're all unique, there's no strict set of rules but there can be a broad understanding framework. there definitely are bad apples in every crate - but because shy men are inexperienced, tend to be easier to spot the bad ones :P gradual is great advice :D thanks!x

    drummer - thank you very much :)! x

    weapon - hah, well. guess we're on the same page now. guess I was on the stimulant all women get a kick out of before - emotions. cheers mate! x

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What Guys Said 52

  • Actually its funny you mention that because that was the whole point I was trying to get at in my long list of comments to your other article LOL. And that is that the stuff you said in your last article isn't applicable to men who are looking to settle down and want a woman for something serious, for the long haul. That it was, in fact, counterproductive if that was your goal.

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  • While this may be true for many shy guys, very few women are willing to go this route. Most women like confident guys who are assertive and outgoing. I'm a shy guy as described in the article but I would rather work on becoming a confident, outgoing guy rather than to wait to meet a girl who likes shy guys. This article may hold true to a degree, and give hope to otherwise hard-luck cases, but I'd advise guys to work on their confidence instead of waiting for a girl to fall in their lap.

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  • Okay, I'm not a shy guy but I can agree with most that you wrote. Only thing is, you are basically saying that shy guys will please you before pleasing themselves. Females like the confident guys because it's the feeling of being able to attain the unattainable. So as much as a female would like to go for a nice guy, she still wants the "asshole". The nice guy is now the back up, that she runs the way she wants. So you just made her the female version of a confident "asshole" that they hate.

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  • Haha, I'm actually not a shy guy. I was when I was young though, and it was bad :(. When I got older I got everything figured it out and I don't exactly have problems with girls hah ;). Anyways I just wanted you to know I recommended your article to a girl who had a question about her shy crush. This is gold!

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  • Wow. I've gotta say I'm taken back by this, because it comes from a girl. I know so many "nice guys" who are really good people but girls pay no attention to them and then complain when guys screw them over... If only all women thought like you. seriously

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  • You are my f***ing hero lol! I have wanted girls to relize this for so long, fortunatly I have found a girl who has and I want other girls to relize that shy guys are awesome too, it is great to know that there is a girl that will finaly shed some light on this. Also let it be known that shy guys don't last forever, and depending on how he thinks, he could turn out to be a great guy with a bit more confidence(like me lol) or lose all hope in girls and turn into an ass. I've seen it first hand.

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  • Sceptical: That's the thing. You threw him hints. What she's saying here is to not play games about it and not be so subtle and outright approach the guy. A lot of us don't get hints.

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  • I can't help but think this totally contradicts your article from a few months ago. But I like it. I find it to be much closer to the truth than that one was.

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  • This article is very informative . I consider myself mildly shy. No article is going to 100% describe a category of men... but this article is balanced and good. It is for women who don't want a lot of adventure ( shy guys are adventurous too but not too much ) . But I would like to warn that among shy guys there are also creeps and jerks who are immature. So while you can certainly find really really great gems among shy guys.. you need , as in any other man , gradually risk. No sudden risk.

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  • Best. Thing. Ever.

    100% accurate

    i know it's a guide for women but I couldn't help but read with shy in the title

    i don't exactly like the "only way he going to get a girl is to be approached" this isn't exactly true, it's just harder for us to make the move. but as you said we'll make small moves

    i feed on love and give it right back, no strings =)

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  • Amazing article. Awesome insight. I used to be a shy guy, and I still try to keep the good aspects of that part of me despite my change of attitude.

    Again, incredible article. This should be a standard teaching. Your man is one lucky guy to have a woman who understands him. Best wishes.

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  • ...i know its not easy for girls or guys to do these things but I think if we all stopped subscribing to all the media promoted way of dating as far as how perfect it has to be and all the pick-up artist ways of doing things; and just made an effort to get to know people as they are, and love them genuenely for it; I think we would all be much more happy and confident people! =) Again Amazing article itssimplekeepitreal, keep up the great work!

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  • ...tell a lot better if they do like you. Which to be honest I'm a very upfront and honest guy when I like a girl( you can tell if I do, cause I'm quite open and real with people) The thing that frustrates me the most is that there are few women that will be open and upfront with you enough for most shy guys, or guys like me who are not quite great at reading suitable signs of interest and then processing that to meaning I should get up do something about it soon. lol ...

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  • Very Good Article! =) I used to be very shy through middle school and part of high school. Then I became the really popular one that everyone knew at my high school. Then things kind of reset once I entered college. Through the whole time though I was quite shy and or hesitant to ask out girls I like. Once I do get to interacting with them I'm a lot better, but its that initial part of telling whether or not she's interested without her having to be really obvious that I'm trying to figure out.

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  • Yeah, to a shy guy (or maybe most guys?), hints are pretty opaque.

    Girl: "I made some obvious significant eye contact with him, but he never even followed up. He must not be interested."

    Guy: "She glanced at me for a moment, but then quickly looked away again. She must not be interested."

    A girl can look at a guy, smile at him, look away, look back, smile at him again, then pretty much stare him down...and the guy will still be convinced that he ultimately made the "first move."

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  • Good common sense!

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  • Your a smart woman. I'm not exactly shy. I open up after getting to know a girl. And I can be extremely outgoing and confident. But still many times shy, especially around a group of girls I don't know. Its know fair. I actually appreciate the women I talk to and respect them. And all these crazy, aggressive guys who are jerks and gonna hurt them get the girl. Then they get what they want and throw them out like an used toy like its nothing. I would never do that.

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  • Oh man, I saw this and I had to read it. Its probably the best thing I've read today. me being somewhat of a shy guy, I had to comment on this. its true girls, if you talk to us and we talk back it means we're interested. You just have to give us that little nudge, or at least I usually need one lol. itssimplekeepitreal, you rock. probably because your from Australia, but still you rock for writing this.

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  • Hmm...i guess I should just wait and meditate and see what happens...haha

    but is hard to believe because in High School its hard to get over all that happened...

    alot of ones ideals get instilled then weather you want or not.

    girls from my end have alway looked over nice and shy guys...

    i had a horrible story based on this fact/myth fyth?

    so hearing this is like a mindfck...

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  • Good article, but, please, stop with the "insecurities" talk. Every guy has a thousand insecurities the difference is shy guys believe in social caution. For instance, fat guys must have obvious insecurities, but they often are gregarious. Why? Because social caution was never an option for them. They realized early on that it sucks to put yourself out there and get rejected, but its even worse to isolate. Just some food for thought.

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What Girls Said 58

  • floralchild - doooo it. they're really cool dragons :P xx

    scar1 - yeh its impossible to describe every person. more a framework people can work from :) thanks xx

    mjmolly - thank you :) be ope to love and it'll find you! xx

    lovelylife - go for it! he'll love you for it ... literally :P ! xx

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  • arlen21 - settle yet. yeh its not upfront but truth is women aren't all that great w insecurity because we can read the boastful mating call of a more aggressive male, the shy men, we're insecure about our interpretations about signals ... I reckon women really just need to trust our instinct a but more, and learn that it's okay to be vulnerable. and I agree w what you wrote - if only more men could admit that! xx

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  • anthonyae - glad I could help :D plus don't change who you are, you're wonderful and will make a fine prince charming for your princess!

    arlen21 - high school is social boot camp you learn to put on masks, but when you're back in college you begin to be who youa re and you learn to be comfortable w who you are as well.- we're all shy around the people we truly like. yeh, well, I like men w a good balance, but you know that the loud ones, theyre loud for a reason because they not ready to...

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  • i don't think it is ever bad, sure less attention, but you learn more listening than speaking. women aren't hard to get. it is the quality of woman you want. ha ha thank you. I really hope it makes more women and men happy. thanks again for your input x

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  • pandatoast131:haha cheers :) and I'm glad you found her. yeh well there are always exceptions. I think some shy men change because they get a big ego boost then think they cna get better. but yeh I agree, some girls aren't too nice either :( but nothing is perfect. when ya find the one you know.

    anonymousdude: agreed. shymen have great compassion too :P ... subtle ay :D !

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  • lost_soul: yeh it is the worry that stops us from all teh possibilities, somestimes you just have to take the leap :) cause you have nothing to lose ... only regret :P xx

    yeanotheranon: ha ohhh I like that tune :Pyeh well my shy guy makes me this way :P mushy ay ... ew...kidding :P

    tc123: thanks :) don't give up hope. I'm not the only one!

    hopelesslover123: he does or his friends? if he didn't like you he wouldn't be there. you sure it isn't his internet girlfriend from canada or something?

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  • jaycon: yeh :) even when little is shown on the face, they're all emotional livewires! thanks xx

    arcanus: ha ha cheers :) relaly made me smile! and I agree :P modest huh!

    macgeniusnow: yeh, agree. shy men will let you down gently but won't string you along, andi think it is better to face the reality then have ajerk string you along.

    barkmoon: cheers :D x

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  • martyfellow: thanks :)

    eshkidd: good on ya! ha well, the thing is shy men often try to put on the whole media version of strength (looks) but forget that the emotional strength they possess, the stability - is what a woman truly sees as strength later on in life. x

    eskimo_girl: hahah yeh gerard butler is a babe, and that movie is so funny. goes to show that even jerks have a soft heart. we're all human afterall :)

    yeths: god yes. you will have an emotional, intellectual & sexual partner. xx

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  • kryan17: thanks :) ha yeh well eyes really are the windows to the soul huh? cliche for a reason. plus, I guess when I am talking to someone, you can almost feel their emotion by the way they hold they eyes.

    icemaster2340: I congratulate ya for being more outgoing, but I just reckon you should have to change yaself too much for a chick :) and agreed. girls should take charge too :P xx

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  • skeptical12: that is swaying ya branches what you did. I walked up to mine told him I like you and kissed him. and holy crap my heart was beating fast. but I'm the happiest woman I know. he isn't mixed signals, he's probably just reflecting back what you are doing. because even when you say that you have written him off, by typing this story shows that you are still thinking about him and probably subconsciously showing it too w ya body language :P so saw it down this time :) you won't regret it

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  • snorkledorf: yeh :( definitely miscommunication on eth signals, thus I'm saying believe in what ya see, chicks pick up on body signals pretty well too, we just end up overanalysing to the point of madness and then give up. instead a simple 'i like you' would make two worry warts into one happy couple! why not?! xx

    weaponzero: thanks :) exactly. true trust should come with honesty.

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  • lunchbox22: yeh, I'm with you. my man isn't extroverted, but he is my emotional pillar. so strong. he knew even before I told him that I was interested. and I agree that it is real love shy men want, because they don't see the point in wasting time on women who are just repeat offender versions of one night stands. shy men don't like to feel weak emotionally, but when you find her, she'll fill teh cracks where you need healing and you'll make each other stronger! thanks xx

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  • poseidon17: and shymen don't wait for women to fall on their lap, they give hints, it's just some women are just too scared to actually act on those subtle signals. thank you for ya input I appreciate it!

    mids09: well I hope you find her soon! smile more :) and be open with your expressions. sometimes all it takes is to hold her gaze and a big welcoming smile!

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  • -0x0-: oath to that! mine are huge. and think a few chickybabes should sprout em.

    poseidon17: women are becoming more openminded to approaching. plus the ones that approach the shy guys are likely to be outgoing ones with soft kind hearts so it is a win win. if you wanna change yourself then go for gold, the thing is not to make yourself into another, be uncomfortable - and get a chick to fall in love with a version of yourself that isn't who you are on the inside. if you truly can then defs!

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  • hartmut: there are ones out there, just shy :) hopefully this article helps motivate a few! every bit counts! xx

    onekindofgurl1: congrats :) he will treat you well! I'm so happy that you told him! he'd be over the moon! hope it works out! nervs are natrual, its the fun part of the relationship :P plus you'd relaly be one of a kind to him! xx

    nessaa12: let him know :) you have nothing to lose, only a man you love to gain! xx

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  • house-MD: unless all women you've met are made out of rock or the insenstive wrong ones for you, people change - for the right person and when they want to only. when you meet a woman do you relaly show her your trueself or your detached self to avoid possibe heartbreak. part of a true bond, is being vulnerable. nice guys - I'm not asking them to have balls. I'm asking chicks to sprout some for a fairytale love we've dreamed about since we were little.

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  • teapot1985: hahah, cheers gorge :) definitely firework-esque sex. so intimate. because it isn't just physical, it's our hearts too.

    dylan1989: thank you and I am very happy ot hear that :D yeh, girls are too shy but I can assure you that well, we're not all cute & shy in our minds. thus, it is really learning to take that extra step and breaking away from our ivory tower to getting prince charming to notice and save us.

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  • miki94: you gotta be a man and just say 'i like you' feel the words when you say it. he sounds like he is just getting comfortable w you, he realized that ya a catch and a beautiful woman, likes you (cause come'on those are obvious flirting signals) just be a bit more forward. he is probably dreaming of holding hands w you. just before you go next time give him a LONGER hug (2-3 seconds longer) touch him more subtly :) and a kiss on the cheek is better than sex to em :) good luck. he is keen! xx

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  • excel: thank you :) yeh it is a shame, but really takes a jerk to know a gem :) hang in there! she's coming!

    chrsschb: thank you :D keep doing what you're doing sunshine!

    curtisc83: cheers :) women are subtle, sometimes it is just a subtle double take. a smile. so flash a smile back :) you have nothing to lose but only her smile and maybe a new lady to gain :)

    probabilist: thank you! emotional intelligence can be applied anywhere. human society is just a massive web of relationships :)

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  • realdeal: I've dated a lot of the media projected confident guys - they are all emotionall weak. shy men are all emotional mountains that we can lean on. so it's not wanting what you can't get. it is getting it & then realising that it's not as advertised. it's crap but sometimes it takes a jerk for a girl to realise. the nice guy was never a back up, but the one. the prince who saves the princess from the ogre. I trust you think the same.

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