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Throw A Player A Twig But Give A Trunk To The Shy Guy. An Article On Shy Men For The Ladies

SHYMEN101. Pow.

I know the aggressive males are so appealing to a female, because it fits the media or propaganda projected image of what a man ought to be. You get one, and too often their brains are just full of jello. They're delicious, but not NUTRITIOUS. Too often we reach for the 99% fat ice cream when we have frozen yoghurt around us – healing us when our hearts get stomped on, hugging us when our tears become worthless.

Sometimes, who we end up with, isn't really the 'ideal' we thought was perfect for us :) ... sometimes, they're right next to you. All you need is COURAGE, and hopefully, this article is a good double dosage!

I'll tell you a little secret. Shy men, are GEMS.

Babe, if you like a shy guy, realise they're called shy for a reason. WEAR THE PANTS.

Behind that glass demeanor, the sweaty palms, is a witty, ROMANTIC and intelligent human being WAITING to be saved from LONELINESS. He is the guy that will love you for simply you, even if you're wearing track pants or have a steak sauce (A1) stain down your top. It is unconditional.

I can tell you this: If you're a SMOTHERER - they're a perfect match. They CRAVE affection. Shy men, won't vom or LEG IT at your overwhelming affection. They feed off it.

Help the poor fella out. They need more - FORWARD HINTS. Normally, a normal guy will notice a twig and bite, shy men NEED A TREE TRUNK worth to gain the same courage … to even touch you.

DO NOT THINK HE IS SETTLING FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING THE WORK. Heck, think, the only way he is ever going to get a girl is if he gets approached by one, and WHEN YOU DO SO, you're doing what he wants. Yes, you are vulnerable, and yes, under normal male circumstances - you're throwing yourself at him - but he ISN'T NORMAL (in a bloody good way). He finds your vulnerability AN APHRODISIAC.


Now, they're a peculiar specimen. Let me explain.

NO GAMES. Shy men, the large portion of them, are inexperienced, 'nice guys'. They often are too scared to make a move in fear of rejection due to insecurities - which we see as appealing (as in a way, our flaws are what makes us 'perfect' and unique). Too often they end up rotting in the 'friendohmygashnosex' category - because they're afraid to take the TEENY step to push the relationship to the next level ... and because of their INDIFFERENT DEMEANOR, too often women (who, come on, are still pretty old fashioned and like to be asked out) see as a sign of DISINTEREST. This is absolute BULL.

Don't get me wrong, they're insecure but THEY ARE NOT WEAK. For some reason, we (ladies) forget that they ARE MEN. THEY HAVE THE DESIRES EVERY PRIMAL MALE HAS. URGES. CRAVINGS that need to be satisfied. Their hormones have been buzzing since a young age too. Imagine being in 'HEAT' and having your legs BOUND together ... they're literally CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGONS. Sex with a shy guy is the last thing you should be worried about.

They're wise, because they seek out strong (honey, you're stronger than you realise :)), beautiful, independent women, and he gets a kick out of knowing that he has your heart and you have his. Mutual support. A beautiful partnership.

They are often introverted, in the sense that they compete against themselves and beat their own personal bests. These are the men who will be stable enough to support you. Long term relationship material.

If the shy guy is REPLYING you (calls, text messages or even talking to you) HE. LIKES. YOU. Or he'd just swim away or disappear. The fact that he is communicating with you means that HE IS INTERESTED. They speak a lot with their EYES. So, whatever hunch you feel, it is ON THE SPOT. They DON’T play games. Black and white, simple and easy flowing partners to have.

We (ladies) need to realise that ROMANTIC love is TURBULENT, IMPERFECT, INCOMPLETE love (it is often limerence or the longing of an incomplete love). If happily ever afters weren't the end of fairytales - I bet you Cindy and Prince Charming wouldn't sound as flash. The TRUE LOVE - shy men can offer is PEACEFUL, TRANQUIL, FLOWING love, that is like a good WINE, only gets BETTER as it ages.

He will nurture you, as they are normally natural 'GIVERS'. Although, they may be reserved with showing affection, they may not be able to boast out loud how much they care, they'll show it through PASSIVE means (this requires listening to you and thought), being there when you need them, saying sensitive little comments to make sure he can see your beautiful smile, everyday.

Note - he isn't retarded. Don't treat him like one. Compliment with your HEART. BE YOURSELF. Because he'll love your inner freak (because he has one too - we all do) ... he is eager for your two secret worlds to blend into one. The intertwining of your imaginations will be truly beautiful.

It is worth it. So, PULL up your pants. Zip up that fly. And POUNCE. Like a cougar.


What Guys Said 53

  • Good article, but, please, stop with the "insecurities" talk. Every guy has a thousand insecurities the difference is shy guys believe in social caution. For instance, fat guys must have obvious insecurities, but they often are gregarious. Why? Because social caution was never an option for them. They realized early on that it sucks to put yourself out there and get rejected, but its even worse to isolate. Just some food for thought.

  • Good common sense!

  • While this may be true for many shy guys, very few women are willing to go this route. Most women like confident guys who are assertive and outgoing. I'm a shy guy as described in the article but I would rather work on becoming a confident, outgoing guy rather than to wait to meet a girl who likes shy guys. This article may hold true to a degree, and give hope to otherwise hard-luck cases, but I'd advise guys to work on their confidence instead of waiting for a girl to fall in their lap.

  • I'm a shy guy, and you've just described me perfectly.

  • I'm a shy guy..AND I'll tell ya, I know when girls are throwing hints,(its quit funny)... The thing about us is we want real relationships and not superficial hookups. But a one night stand here or there isn't bad either. Once a girl shows her vulnerable side I will gladly take the steering wheel and show her a good time if I'm interested in her. I like to be the person people lean on. Unfortunately I don't like to lean on others, therefor I am shy and don't go outta my way to meet others.

  • Yeah, to a shy guy (or maybe most guys?), hints are pretty opaque.

    Girl: "I made some obvious significant eye contact with him, but he never even followed up. He must not be interested."

    Guy: "She glanced at me for a moment, but then quickly looked away again. She must not be interested."

    A girl can look at a guy, smile at him, look away, look back, smile at him again, then pretty much stare him down...and the guy will still be convinced that he ultimately made the "first move."

  • Sceptical: That's the thing. You threw him hints. What she's saying here is to not play games about it and not be so subtle and outright approach the guy. A lot of us don't get hints.

  • Woow you hit it right over the head dear. lol jeeze I talk with my eyes a lot and I can relate to other parts of your article as well nice job and your so right.

  • I still am a shy guy even tho I've tried to be more confident... It's working out pretty good right now, but I totally agree with this article... Now if only the girl(s) I like would read this...

  • Fantastic article really. But I'm trying to be the best of both worlds. Strong, confident, and a leader in the relationship, while still caring about the girl and wanting to spend romantic time with her.

  • This is so effing spot on. I really want to show this to my crush haha.

  • Amazing article. Awesome insight. I used to be a shy guy, and I still try to keep the good aspects of that part of me despite my change of attitude.

    Again, incredible article. This should be a standard teaching. Your man is one lucky guy to have a woman who understands him. Best wishes.

  • If only more women thought like you... If only.

  • Hints? damn hints. Make the move yourself. They may be called 'balls' which sounds misleading but they're not solely something men have.

  • not all shy or reserved guys are the way you described but some of it was generally true

  • ...i know its not easy for girls or guys to do these things but I think if we all stopped subscribing to all the media promoted way of dating as far as how perfect it has to be and all the pick-up artist ways of doing things; and just made an effort to get to know people as they are, and love them genuenely for it; I think we would all be much more happy and confident people! =) Again Amazing article itssimplekeepitreal, keep up the great work!

  • ...tell a lot better if they do like you. Which to be honest I'm a very upfront and honest guy when I like a girl( you can tell if I do, cause I'm quite open and real with people) The thing that frustrates me the most is that there are few women that will be open and upfront with you enough for most shy guys, or guys like me who are not quite great at reading suitable signs of interest and then processing that to meaning I should get up do something about it soon. lol ...

  • ... I honestly would say I'm to an extent still a shy guy, but I've come a long way in being more confident in taking a risk and going for it! Most of the girls I've liked are your independant, outgoing types.(cheerleaders, dance team members in high school.) But I also like the quieter types of girls too because they don't play a lot of the "Mind Games" (that I hate with a passion) that some more outgoing girls do. Also the quieter girls are usually more geniune when they like you, and you can..

  • Very Good Article! =) I used to be very shy through middle school and part of high school. Then I became the really popular one that everyone knew at my high school. Then things kind of reset once I entered college. Through the whole time though I was quite shy and or hesitant to ask out girls I like. Once I do get to interacting with them I'm a lot better, but its that initial part of telling whether or not she's interested without her having to be really obvious that I'm trying to figure out.

  • I never realized how girl-shy I really am until reading this. Nice article.

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What Girls Said 59

  • While I think this is an article well written in a very tactful fashion... What if you took a saw and you cut down the tree and gave it to the shy guy? That's kind of what I did. I mean... I kind of threw him hints for about 1.5 years and he still didn't ask me out....? I mean by that time, I just wrote him off as not interested.. At the same time, he's giving mixed signals when I think he's done with me... besides it seems kind of pathetic to moon over a guy for such a long time.mind games

  • Lol. I can imagine you being the hot guy on 'the ugly truth'

    nice article ;)

  • A VERY VERY good article .......i always believed there was more to the shy guy!

  • Best thing I've read in this subject EVER.

  • Thank you for this article! I've been crushing on a shy guy for a couple weeks, and I swear everyday I want to give up haha. I appreciate the encouragement

  • Actually I just commented on this a minute ago..but I accidentally sent a message to this shy guy I like but he wasn't supposed to read it and in it he now knows how I feel and yeahh I don't know what's going on now lol

  • Im scared to approach the guy because I don't want to get annoying to him :S

  • Im inlove with a shy guy. He's so sweet. ahh.

  • floralchild - doooo it. they're really cool dragons :P xx

    scar1 - yeh its impossible to describe every person. more a framework people can work from :) thanks xx

    mjmolly - thank you :) be ope to love and it'll find you! xx

    lovelylife - go for it! he'll love you for it ... literally :P ! xx

  • arlen21 - settle yet. yeh its not upfront but truth is women aren't all that great w insecurity because we can read the boastful mating call of a more aggressive male, the shy men, we're insecure about our interpretations about signals ... I reckon women really just need to trust our instinct a but more, and learn that it's okay to be vulnerable. and I agree w what you wrote - if only more men could admit that! xx

  • anthonyae - glad I could help :D plus don't change who you are, you're wonderful and will make a fine prince charming for your princess!

    arlen21 - high school is social boot camp you learn to put on masks, but when you're back in college you begin to be who youa re and you learn to be comfortable w who you are as well.- we're all shy around the people we truly like. yeh, well, I like men w a good balance, but you know that the loud ones, theyre loud for a reason because they not ready to...

  • All I can say is WOW! Great article, I really hope its true. Love it and thanks for posting it, gives me a little hope. Thanks

  • I really really love this.Wow! this is really awesome.I agree with you all the way.I love it.

  • This article made me LOL-ed. In a good way. Good points mixed with humor. It makes me want to hunt for a hot shy guy :P

  • i don't think it is ever bad, sure less attention, but you learn more listening than speaking. women aren't hard to get. it is the quality of woman you want. ha ha thank you. I really hope it makes more women and men happy. thanks again for your input x

  • pandatoast131:haha cheers :) and I'm glad you found her. yeh well there are always exceptions. I think some shy men change because they get a big ego boost then think they cna get better. but yeh I agree, some girls aren't too nice either :( but nothing is perfect. when ya find the one you know.

    anonymousdude: agreed. shymen have great compassion too :P ... subtle ay :D !

  • lost_soul: yeh it is the worry that stops us from all teh possibilities, somestimes you just have to take the leap :) cause you have nothing to lose ... only regret :P xx

    yeanotheranon: ha ohhh I like that tune :Pyeh well my shy guy makes me this way :P mushy ay ... ew...kidding :P

    tc123: thanks :) don't give up hope. I'm not the only one!

    hopelesslover123: he does or his friends? if he didn't like you he wouldn't be there. you sure it isn't his internet girlfriend from canada or something?

  • jaycon: yeh :) even when little is shown on the face, they're all emotional livewires! thanks xx

    arcanus: ha ha cheers :) relaly made me smile! and I agree :P modest huh!

    macgeniusnow: yeh, agree. shy men will let you down gently but won't string you along, andi think it is better to face the reality then have ajerk string you along.

    barkmoon: cheers :D x

  • martyfellow: thanks :)

    eshkidd: good on ya! ha well, the thing is shy men often try to put on the whole media version of strength (looks) but forget that the emotional strength they possess, the stability - is what a woman truly sees as strength later on in life. x

    eskimo_girl: hahah yeh gerard butler is a babe, and that movie is so funny. goes to show that even jerks have a soft heart. we're all human afterall :)

    yeths: god yes. you will have an emotional, intellectual & sexual partner. xx

  • kryan17: thanks :) ha yeh well eyes really are the windows to the soul huh? cliche for a reason. plus, I guess when I am talking to someone, you can almost feel their emotion by the way they hold they eyes.

    icemaster2340: I congratulate ya for being more outgoing, but I just reckon you should have to change yaself too much for a chick :) and agreed. girls should take charge too :P xx

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