(Before I start, I'd like to thank my mum, my boyfriend and those at kickboxing for their never ending support through this tough time. I couldn't have managed without them!)
I came across a video on Youtube of a guy who was just dancing and his knee popped out. He fell to the floor in agony but people were commenting saying it was funny, the video description said it was funny and the people on the video were laughing at him. To me it's not a laughing matter. You could say I'm biased because it happened to me too and I know how traumatic the whole experience is, but I think it's rude to laugh at people's pain. Them laughing just shows how they lack any knowledge of how it can seriously affect the sufferer, so I wanted to share my personal experience of such an injury and how it affected me. Maybe that could make some people think about the long term effects such an injury can have on the person affected and laughing can make them feel worse.
I dislocated my knee in my first ever kick boxing grading by twisting wrong into the scissor splits. Yeah, I was only doing the stretches and it happened. I went into shock and I repeatedly said, 'I can't believe it' because that's something you see happen to other people, not you! I was also disappointed in myself for not being able to complete my grading. I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I hyperventilated, I was embarrassed, I was in shock; I went through so many emotions and it was too much to take in. Then I had to go through the ordeal of the paramedic putting it back into place which was agony even with morphine and gas and air. I felt a lot better knowing the worst was over and I felt relatively normal but I was still in shock. I thought that'd be it. I thought it'd be a bit sore and that was it. I wasn't expecting the aftermath.
I went to the hospital and was waiting around for hours to be looked at. My knee was pretty swollen but I just felt a bit tired and out of it. I was told I'd always have a weakness which made me feel pretty low but she said it could potentially go back to how it was and I'd be able to continue kickboxing. I got up and I started feeling light headed, sick and faint. I was almost sick and nearly passed out because not only had I not eaten much, I had a strong drug in my system and my adrenaline was reducing. After what seemed like forever, it finally went away and I felt better.
The nurse told me that I had to use a splint and crutches for a week, keeping my leg straight and not to put weight on it. I thought, 'that's simple enough'. I couldn't have been more wrong.
The next day, I woke up in pain all morning and my knee was practically moving around in my leg, it just felt like it was going to pop out again. It felt horrible! I waited around for a while, hoping the pain would fade but it didn't and I burst out crying; keep in mind, I don't cry easily. I realised it was going to be a painfully slow recovery. My mum ran me a bath but I physically couldn't get into the bath so we gave up trying and I had to have a wash which I hated. The feeling of a bone moving around so freely is inexplicably uncomfortable.
I was given the exercise of lifting my leg up for about 10 seconds whilst lying down, but even that was very hard, which shows just how weak it was. I could only bend my leg about 20 degrees because not only was my knee swollen, all the muscles were tightening because of being repaired and creating scar tissue. So every day, I had to try the painful challenge of stretching my muscles and tendons so I could bend my leg again but thankfully, I showed improvement daily.
I spent nearly two weeks of being taken care of like getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed, going up and down the stairs and other menial tasks. I had no privacy and I gradually became more and more depressed; my freedom had been taken out of my hands and I couldn't do anything about it. I also had regular flashbacks of the incident and had many sleepless nights, worrying about my health and just thinking about what an idiot I was for allowing it to happen.
It was only after 3-4 weeks that I tried putting weight on it but I limped a lot so I had to continue using crutches. I eventually forced myself to walk and tried to not be too scared of putting weight on it. I still had to use crutches for long distance walks and going up and down stairs but over time, my mum encouraged me to go down the stairs without my crutches which I did. After a few days of walking round the house, "crutchless", I felt that maybe I could go for walks outside without crutches. My main problem was pain after a certain amount of walking and my leg kept going from underneath me. It was like I had no quadriceps at all. I couldn't and still can't put weight on my leg when it's bent because it physically can't hold it, but I will get there eventually.
It's taken me a month to walk relatively normally again but I still have another 3 months of physiotherapy, exercises I still have to do daily and then I intend on going to the gym to strengthen my quads when it's better. In other words, I still have a long way to go before I feel like me again and I think many people forget the aftermath of this kind of injury. I was guilty of it too. I used to think that you would dislocate something, it'd hurt but they'd put it back in, it'd be a bit sore and then they'd be fine, but it's not like that at all. It's a whole lot worse than that.
I seriously got depressed and I still am to a certain extent over this injury. It's hard to describe how weak and helpless you feel. It's just as hard coming to terms that it could very easily happen again and you'd have to relive the whole ordeal again. That guy on the Youtube video had done it before and all he did was a bit of dancing and he dislocated it again! Imagine having to live with the thought that you could go through a traumatic experience all over again and it's more likely to happen as you get older. Not only has this affected my ability to do a sport I love and miss over a month of work, but my view on my health. I've realised just how weak I am (I do have joint problems which I never fully addressed) which makes me feel even lower. You realise how everything can go from good to shit in a blink of an eye and it makes you reevaluate lifes capabilities.
It is a truly traumatic experience which will haunt me and cause problems for me for the rest of my life. I don't see how anyone could find that funny.
I came across a video on Youtube of a guy who was just dancing and his knee popped out. He fell to the floor in agony but people were commenting saying it was funny, the video description said it was funny and the people on the video were laughing at him. To me it's not a laughing matter. You could say I'm biased because it happened to me too and I know how traumatic the whole experience is, but I think it's rude to laugh at people's pain. Them laughing just shows how they lack any knowledge of how it can seriously affect the sufferer, so I wanted to share my personal experience of such an injury and how it affected me. Maybe that could make some people think about the long term effects such an injury can have on the person affected and laughing can make them feel worse.
I think it's rude to laugh at people's pain.
I dislocated my knee in my first ever kick boxing grading by twisting wrong into the scissor splits. Yeah, I was only doing the stretches and it happened. I went into shock and I repeatedly said, 'I can't believe it' because that's something you see happen to other people, not you! I was also disappointed in myself for not being able to complete my grading. I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I hyperventilated, I was embarrassed, I was in shock; I went through so many emotions and it was too much to take in. Then I had to go through the ordeal of the paramedic putting it back into place which was agony even with morphine and gas and air. I felt a lot better knowing the worst was over and I felt relatively normal but I was still in shock. I thought that'd be it. I thought it'd be a bit sore and that was it. I wasn't expecting the aftermath.
I went to the hospital and was waiting around for hours to be looked at. My knee was pretty swollen but I just felt a bit tired and out of it. I was told I'd always have a weakness which made me feel pretty low but she said it could potentially go back to how it was and I'd be able to continue kickboxing. I got up and I started feeling light headed, sick and faint. I was almost sick and nearly passed out because not only had I not eaten much, I had a strong drug in my system and my adrenaline was reducing. After what seemed like forever, it finally went away and I felt better.
The nurse told me that I had to use a splint and crutches for a week, keeping my leg straight and not to put weight on it. I thought, 'that's simple enough'. I couldn't have been more wrong.
I was given the exercise of lifting my leg up for about 10 seconds whilst lying down, but even that was very hard, which shows just how weak it was. I could only bend my leg about 20 degrees because not only was my knee swollen, all the muscles were tightening because of being repaired and creating scar tissue. So every day, I had to try the painful challenge of stretching my muscles and tendons so I could bend my leg again but thankfully, I showed improvement daily.
I spent nearly two weeks of being taken care of like getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed, going up and down the stairs and other menial tasks. I had no privacy and I gradually became more and more depressed; my freedom had been taken out of my hands and I couldn't do anything about it. I also had regular flashbacks of the incident and had many sleepless nights, worrying about my health and just thinking about what an idiot I was for allowing it to happen.
It was only after 3-4 weeks that I tried putting weight on it but I limped a lot so I had to continue using crutches. I eventually forced myself to walk and tried to not be too scared of putting weight on it. I still had to use crutches for long distance walks and going up and down stairs but over time, my mum encouraged me to go down the stairs without my crutches which I did. After a few days of walking round the house, "crutchless", I felt that maybe I could go for walks outside without crutches. My main problem was pain after a certain amount of walking and my leg kept going from underneath me. It was like I had no quadriceps at all. I couldn't and still can't put weight on my leg when it's bent because it physically can't hold it, but I will get there eventually.
I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I hyperventilated, I was embarrassed, I was in shock
It's taken me a month to walk relatively normally again but I still have another 3 months of physiotherapy, exercises I still have to do daily and then I intend on going to the gym to strengthen my quads when it's better. In other words, I still have a long way to go before I feel like me again and I think many people forget the aftermath of this kind of injury. I was guilty of it too. I used to think that you would dislocate something, it'd hurt but they'd put it back in, it'd be a bit sore and then they'd be fine, but it's not like that at all. It's a whole lot worse than that.
I seriously got depressed and I still am to a certain extent over this injury. It's hard to describe how weak and helpless you feel. It's just as hard coming to terms that it could very easily happen again and you'd have to relive the whole ordeal again. That guy on the Youtube video had done it before and all he did was a bit of dancing and he dislocated it again! Imagine having to live with the thought that you could go through a traumatic experience all over again and it's more likely to happen as you get older. Not only has this affected my ability to do a sport I love and miss over a month of work, but my view on my health. I've realised just how weak I am (I do have joint problems which I never fully addressed) which makes me feel even lower. You realise how everything can go from good to shit in a blink of an eye and it makes you reevaluate lifes capabilities.
It is a truly traumatic experience which will haunt me and cause problems for me for the rest of my life. I don't see how anyone could find that funny.
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