A greater amount of business, friendly, and family relationships are developing globally every single day. Technology is certainly playing a hand in maintaining the social side of life.
What about personal relationships? What about you and your boyfriend? It’s quite frustrating when two people are in a relationship and cannot see each other physically. This is the case whether the couple is living in separate cities, states, or even countries.
There’s also that dreaded line: “Long distance relationships never work”. In reality, why would they work? How can two people promise to be faithful and stay together when they are completely out of sight? “Out of sight, out of mind”, is this necessarily fact?
Let us first look at all the avenues as to why long distance relationships do not work out.
1. Paranoia
Men and women alike, tend to develop paranoia. Whether we are confident or insecure, if we guys truly care about a woman - there will be occasions of suspicion. Many guys are paranoid about “being the fool” and having the woman that they love - cheat on them.
Many women believe that if a man is paranoid about her whereabouts, it’s because he’s actually the one that’s cheating. In many cases, however, it could simply mean that the guy truly cares and is worried that he may lose you. We are not excusing this paranoid behavior of guys, however, in order to get past his paranoia, the deep underlying trust issue must be dealt with.
Out of sight, out of mind?
It is very important that you do reassure him that you would never do anything to compromise the relationship - he must do the same for you. This way you two can come to a mutual understanding, therefore instilling a great deal of trust - critical to the success of the relationship.
2. Space and Time
It’s a fact that we men need our space. Even in a long distance relationship, there are going to be times where a man simply wants to fade into his own recluse. This does not give us men permission to ignore you, the woman, nor does it mean that we’re getting tired of you.
The need for more personal space and time is dependent on how the man manages his. We as men, put all of our all responsibilities and commitments into “mental boxes”. We have a designated box for our family, friends, personal recreation, long distance relationship, etc. Subconsciously, most men do not believe that these boxes should “merge” together - it’s rare that they do. If a man feels that he’s neglecting another box due to the long-distance relationship, he may need to take some attention from the long distance relationship, so that he can apply it to other aspects of his life - thus balancing his life again.
There is a difference between space and neglect. If you feel that you are being neglected, then you will want to bring that to his attention. Good guys do exist and we will be eager to listen so that we can make you happy in the long-run.
3. Lack of Intimacy
The lack of intimacy is usually the leading cause to why a man will want to end a long-distance relationship. Men must be in control of everything. Therefore, when our woman is miles away and the only way we can meet them is through a computer screen - things may go bad.
It is important to remind us men that long distance emotional closeness and intimacy is something that takes practice like everything else. Men must challenge their self-limiting beliefs that state “long distance relationships don’t work”, or that “We cannot have a great relationship unless there’s physical contact.”
In conclusion, in order to overcome paranoia, feelings of neglect, and/or lack of intimacy - it is important that you and your partner communicate about every aspect of your relationship. Failure to do so can potentially mean the end. Taking full advantage of technology such as Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook, and other mediums of online communication can make your relationship stronger than ever.
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