Women are more judgmental of the looks of other women - and here's why you shouldn't care

Mesonfielde

Criticism, stereotypes, skewed ideals and perfectionism: or how to be happy with your appearance in a society where everyone hates you for being you


I asked a question, out of mere curiousity, which eventually ended up to be the perfect specimen for a case study. "Do you think this woman is attractive?" although technically the wording was "Is her body ideal", which might have a slightly different meaning.


But the perfect answer is, anyone's body is ideal as long as



  • they're happy with themselves and accept themselves for who they are

  • their partner finds them attractive

  • they're generally healthy (or at least not blatantly unhealthy).


However, the general result of the question is:



People will criticize you even if you look normal (to some even desirable and attractive). Women criticize you even more-so than men, judging you by unrealistic standards.


And you shouldn't care, because they'll do it anyways, no matter what you do.



In case you are out of the loop, this is the question.


If you take a quick glance over the opinions, you'll see the judgmentalness of others. Some even say they "wouldn't dare wear a bikini if they looked like that."


It's quite interesting, because the original picture had the following comments...



I have, however, taken a step back from the scale to work on my positive body image this summer. I feel that I need to work on how I view myself, rather than obsessing over something that was only bringing me down.


This picture actually marks a historic moment! Living in a beach town is kind of hard when you feel like you look awful in a bathing suit. WELL I SAY FORGET IT! This was the first time I had ever worn a bikini outside and I felt amazing! Stay positive ladies! And walk proud!



The irony.


And of course, it's not really the "ladies" that need the positive thinking. Or at least, not in this regard. The problem lies elsewhere. It lies in what people consider ideal, and how they feel towards someone that does not match it.


Women are more judgmental of the looks of other women - and here's why you shouldn't care


There are actually quite a few psychological disorders out there in the name of perfectionism - it can be just as motivating as it can be debilitating. It depends on just how unrealistic it is to achieve the goal, the standards that you set out for yourself, and in this case, for others.


There is no such thing as "universally perfect". But people try to reach a standard that was not designed for them, and was designed with them not in mind. In fact, the current Western world polarizes and demonizes any female appearance that is not "skinny".


This is currently what is profitable for the fashion and beauty industry - making people feel bad about their natural appearance, and trying to change it. Think of all the options out there - plastic surgeries, liposuction, Brazilian lifting, nose jobs, breast implants, there are even surgeries out there to alter the looks of women's genitalia!


This issue is tackled by the documentary called KILLING US SOFTLY 4 which at the moment you can watch here.


That's how people end up saying, "if you have any fat on your body, you need to lose 20 lbs, and you mustn't wear a bikini".


But you don't have to care. Why feel bad about yourself, why adhere to people who bully you into what THEY want YOU to do? If you like yourself for who you are, and you aren't actually harming anyone, neither you nor themselves - then is there really a point in trying to adhere to unrealistic standards?


You can just choose to be you. Accept yourself, and love yourself, for who you are.


Screw the haters.


Women are more judgmental of the looks of other women - and here's why you shouldn't care

Women are more judgmental of the looks of other women - and here's why you shouldn't care
30 Opinion