The Friend Zone, Entry 1!

[QuietCutie]

So something that's been bugging me, and has for a great while, is the way that girls approach the concept of guys in the friend zone. Just to make this clear, the friend zone is the point where a girl refuses to date a guy because "it would ruin the friendship" or some other bullshit like that. Now I'm probably not the first guy to say this, but I've been put in the friend zone a hell of a lot more often than I'd like to have been. And honestly, the whole idea is really scummy of girls to do, when it comes down to the girl being post-relationship. She gets into a relationship with some jackass (we all know it happens!), the relationship is horrendously abusive, and eventually the guy breaks up with her (because for some reason the girl is head over heels for him.) Then, it's on the friend zone guys to be her shoulder to cry on, and then the real heart-smasher right here: "Why can't I have a boyfriend like you?" Answer me this ladies: why do you say that to the guy when he's literally standing right there, practically begging to be dated?!

Another thing that bugs me about the friend zone is the fact that girls somehow manage to turn it into a negative light. That guys in the friend zone are the bad guys because "All they wanted to do was get in my pants!!!" First off, how do you know that that's what they want? Did you, I don't know, ask them??? Most of the guys you wind up putting in the friend zone want nothing more than to be your significant other, to make you smile every morning with a cute text. Not a "wake up bitch!", but a "Good morning beautiful :) I was thinking about you last night, and I just wanted to say I love you and hope you have a great day!" Tell me, does that sound like the voice of a guy that wants to hit it and quit it? If so, please tell me so I can go rethink my entire life.

Sorry about the long post, but I had to get this off my chest. In short: the friend zone is bullshit, and the "friend zoned guys just want in my pants" theory is bullshit as well. Thanks for the time you took to read this!

[Roycaryn]

Nothing you've said here is really original, but I wasn't expecting it to be. I was expecting it to be some guy ranting as to why he doesn't understand women not realizing that this state of "not understanding women" (if we can call it that) is what is really causing you to fail with them. Take this for example:

You can't possibly be a "nice guy" because otherwise you wouldn't be complaining about anything. Being supportive in alleviating another person's suffering is not a means to an end, it's the end in itself. What you seem to be confusing is trying to be "pleasant" in the self-centered pursuit of her affections and actually being selflessly kind.

Nor would you feel the need to point out how other people (men in particular) are "douchebags" because of whatever it was they did that hurt someone regardless if it is true. Not a single person alive today is completely above "inhuman" cruelty no matter what comes to mind. True kindness however is blind in spite of it, and from it is where you get true strength and wisdom.

[Starfishlover]

I don't know what you would make of this. But I honestly never friendzoned a guy in my life. I don't get asked out but when I do, I give the guy an opportunity. Maybe he is lovely. For example I had a huge crush on a guy that society would class as a 3 out of 10. But I liked him so much because he was kind, smart, and what I thought was considerate. But when he found out I liked him, he ignored me :(

So embarrassed.

But yeah I don't believe in friendzoning. You might find the most amazing guy there.

[chailey98]

Girls don't owe any guy a date, a relationship, or even a chance. That's what guys don't seem to understand. We can't focus on one girl when there's billions to choose from, that's stupid. If the girl doesn't want a relationship that's her choice. You can't be together if both parties don't feel the same way. It takes two to tango. We put all of our time into one girl that doesn't really deserve it. Nice guys give girls everything; at that point, girls don't have to give anything back because they already have what they need.

[LovelySerene]

Women aren't obligated to date you just because your nice... I make it clear that I don't date, and guys get pissed and cry friend-zone because I don't give them a chance.
If a guy isn't upfront about his feelings, how is that her fault?
And if he sticks around while knowing her feelings... how is that her fault?

[Shifted]

AMEN!!! Not that I'm in the friendzone currently, although I'm also wondering if trying to date is even worth it I could just have a radical douch-o-logical implant and become a womanizing piece of garbage!!!

[DarkHumorRUs]

But if they aren't attracted to you, they can't help that. So too bad. And that's probably what most happens to most guys who are friendzoned.

[kopperheadroad]

Yeah well i never met some one like that So this is me sticking my tounge out at you but u probably right

[ranma187]

As soon as I am friend zoned. I just move on. Don't waste time there at all.