Thoughts about why men respect b*tchy women & not nice girls

[Gymgirl71]

I never quite understood why men like “b*tchy women. But the past month I have done some self reflection, because of the outcome of my dating experience since I have been unattached (almost 2 years) I decided that while its nothing that I did wrong but being the “nice girl” will not earn you respect. So fast forward to current guy (not my boyfriend) we slept together after 2 months, but afterwards I became kind of needy and then he became kind of shady. So after all that, I started to feel that I didn’t need him and decided I need to be assertive. If a man doesn’t want me in his life, then so be it. Well, now he is telling me he likes when I am b*tchy etc.

I guess I can see the reasoning behind it. Why would a man want someone who can't stand on her own two feet, and falls apart when he takes some space.

Thoughts?

[Azara]

Assertive is standing up for yoursellf while remaining diplomatic. It's respectfu. bitchy is not. It's manipulative and exploitative. Guys who like bitchy are not bf material. And a guy who makes you feel needy is not bf material for you. Needy is jsut another way of sayimg you like him/ her more than they like you.

relationships have to be able to work when you bith care not just when you cool off. Otherise it's a friends with benefits not a resltionship. Healthy relationships provide space for healthy feelings to grow not to be stunTed or humiliated for caring.

[genuinlysensitive]

The truth is men do NOT want Bitchy women, and are in fact REPULSED by bitchy women. If she is hot some guys will put up with her if they are just in it for sex, but nothing else.

What you seem to call "bitchy" isn't really bitchy, but honest, direct, and not clingy. That is why he is into it, not because you are bitchy and treat him like shit, which is what bitchy really means.

[TheDevilInside]

um... being able to stand on your own two feel and not rely on other people but yourself doesn't immediately make you bitchy. You're 43 years old? Is that your actual age? You feel the need to sensor the word bitchy... I don't want to say what I think about that and the correlation to your given age...

You can be an independent strong woman and still be a "nice girl", as you call it. I call it being a decent person.

Girl, this isn't "bad boys" vs. "nice guys". With girls it is SO different.

[MyBestAdvice3995]

A lot of men like women who have a bit of a flare and present a challenge. However, this is just a preference like women who prefer confident men. People who are more superificial get hung up over these minute and very surface personality traits.

On T. V. it is always the pretty, super classy "sophisticated" women who attracts all the men. Likewise it is always the borderline asshole good looking guy who gets all the women. If some people only understood that isn't necessarilly this way in real life lol! The goal is to not let this superficiality change who you are.

It seems like your boyfriend operates on this superficial plane. We all deserve someone who will accept and love us for who we are not for how superficial we can be. So no you don't have to be "confident" or "bitchy" if that's not who you are. Honestly, if they can't accept for you are then you need someone else.

[justwannatalk]

Personally I like a wide variety of women. Sometimes, being bitchy is cute, and I like it she girls challenge me. But all the time bitchy is very unattractive to me. If you always complain I will not enjoy it. I respect nice girls, and I little shy ones. Their cute, and have a beauty even they don't know about. So not all guys respect bitchy women. I little it when my women are real.

[martyfellow]

They are a little intimidated by girls who make demands, so they are usually polite. But that doesn't mean they LIKE or really RESPECT them very much.

They just think it's smart to 'go through the motions' of ACTING like they respect women who are assertive, or as you say, b**tchy.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I don't think guys like bossy women (maybe like a few). But guys do not like clingy girls who don't have their own lives and who are just doormats. It's possible to not be bossy/stuck up and also not be clingy. It's all about balance. I'm not bossy or assertive at all for that matter (at least I don't think I am) and I've never felt like guys dislike me cause of that..

[Hannah591]

Being independent and strong doesn't make you bitchy. You've used the wrong term. Men like a strong woman who can show that they can live without them because it hits their ego if you break up. They like to feel like you depend on them. Bitchy women are immature, often insecure women who like bringing others down, men don't like those. This take doesn't make any sense and doesn't really give any information out.

[TripleAce]

Just answer the question as to why nice guys finish last and I think it would answer your question

I think based on that people seem to prefer someone that is more outspoken and one that makes life interesting. Part of it is unpredictability and a little drama. Also all this helps people go through ups and downs. If you have the right balance of ups and downs it usually strengthen a couple since you gain love and trust often through hardship

That's one way of looking at it I think

[CreepyOldMan]

I may be the last man standing in this regard, but there's nothing I despise more than a bitch.

I'm a genuineIy nice guy, snd like the nice girl. She'll always win the day. And being genuinely nice cannot be faked. :-)

This one goes out to the bitches.

https://youtu.be/gIrHJCnmeoY

[Octavion]

It's the exact same logic about "nice guys" not getting attention. It isn't being nice that turns people away it's the fact that they're dependent on others and come off as desperate.

[Gymgirl71]

Absolutely

[SkyloreDay]

I would love to know the answer to this myself. The same goes with a lot of things in the world. Nice only gets you used.

[The_Technomancer]

Not all guys do that. There are guys who question why women only respect the douche bags. But not all girls do that.

[cloudburst]

It's seems like you're mistaking b*tchiness for clinginess. Guys really don't like clingy girls, some do though.

[mutedaisy]

Men and women alike do not like "nice" individuals. It's fake, they are totally in it just to get approval from others.

[Vesuvius87]

They don't. Generally, people (both men and women) just don't like someone clingy and needy.

[Anonymous]

You are confusing confidence and capability with bitchiness. They are NOT the same, and 99% of men do NOT like bitchy women.

[hotstuffSRD]

So you mean you're nice then it's great bc you can easily find someone

[Anonymous]

I love nice girls. I f*ck a nice girl almost every night.

[YourFutureEx]

Don't misconstrue 'clingy girls' to 'nice girls'.

[performerwannabe]

I'm a bit confused. I loved the pic though!

[James19]

No the nice one are far better