If you friendzoned a guy, but talked to him a lot, and he deleted your contact from everything, how would you feel?

[Anonymous]

I was seeing this girl for a few months, who said she wasn't looking for anyone. She talks and snapchats to me all the time. I found out the other day that she was actually casually sleeping with another guy for a year..and that she's madly obsessed with this guy but he doesn't want anything serious with her.
I felt led on, used for attention, and got nothing back in return. She friendzoned me but gave some rubbish excuse. I can't be friends with someone who's not honest. On top of that, of course it hurts a guy when a girl he loves friendzones him.
I deleted her from all social media. I felt very relieved, but because I love her, I still feel a bit guilty..like I might have hurt her. But hey..she's hurt me too..none of this would have happened if she didn't lie to me, for I would have let her go a long time ago.

So girls..how would you feel if a guy you friendzoned and talked to a lot, just suddenly cut you off for good?
Would you be relieved? You know you can get guy "friends" any time just by friendzoning any guy who comes your way...all you have to do is give out your number.

[snowangle]

Of course she didn't tell you she was sleeping with someone else. That's none of your business.

If she loves him and doesn't feel emotionally strong enough to date someone else, that's not her fault. But it's completely your right to stop being friends with her if it's too painful. But you should explain this to her, and not just drop off the face of the earth without saying anything.

How would I feel if it happened to me? I'd be hurt, but I'd understand. Okay, that's not completely true. I'd understand if he cut himself off due to it being too painful. But I'd be angry if he cut himself off just because he's mad I'm sleeping with someone else.

[Asker]

Oh, I need to be transparent with my feelings and situation, but not a girl?
She told me she wasn't seeing anyone - that's dishonest, and it hurts my feelings that she gave me some hope and wasted so much of my precious time.
Why can't a girl just say "sorry, but I have someone in mind, and I don't think I'm ready to date other guys"?
Why must it be "oh no..i've been hurt in the past..i'm not looking for anyone now..i'm not seeing anyone.."

[Ram0n83]

It's amazing you and I are in the same age group, and have been through such a similar experience so recently.

A girl I got introduced to friendzoned me, then told me a little more about her background. She had previously said that I was attractive, smart, her ideal candidate for a boyfriend, and when I asked if we could make it official, she friendzoned me, explaining that she had some other stresses going on in her life. So at first, I accepted (probably dumb of me).

The next contact I had from her: she and her ex had never cut contact, and she was considering restarting the relationship. That was two days after friendzoning me. The following day she said it was official.

It sounds like you were a fall-back. She didn't want to cut you loose, especially if she ever got shot down from the other guy. So she kept you on the string.

[Ram0n83]

Also: my next response was probably not the best, but I did what you described. I quit calling and texting her. She texted and asked where I was, so I told her that I needed time to myself (that was a mistake).

She finally texted me two nights ago. She said she was so upset that I suddenly disappeared and wanted a friend to be with during the events going on in her life, and I had just vanished. She said she didn't want any more contact.

My time was to research being a "backup boyfriend" and get confirmation from some friends that my gut instinct was right: cut her loose. So I responded to her text and told her that I felt used and backhanded, and that it really hurt and that I wasn't going to continue with her given her situation with her former ex-boyfriend.

Silence will probably drive her insane if you've had such frequent contact, then drop off the face of the earth. Try it. Or maybe be blunt and upfront with her and then cut her loose.

[lumos]

"I was seeing this girl for a few months, who said she wasn't looking for anyone"
"I felt led on, used for attention, and got nothing back in return"

She told you right from the start she wasn't looking for anyone, right? So why do you feel led on? She didn't lie to you?
If he cut all contact without an explanation, I would be really confused. I'd probably ask him why he did it as well.

[Asker]

Lie: She was chasing another guy all this time, doing anything for him. Told me she wasn't looking for anyone..and that she wasn't seeing anyone.

Why am I pissed off? Because she used me for attention which her crush wasn't willing to give her.

[lumos]

Well, "I'm not looking for anyone" could technically also mean "I've already found someone". So yea. And she wasn't dating him, sooo...
But I get your point. And I agree that she was too vague about her situation.

[Asker]

She is looking for that guy..he doesn't want her.
I was probably a bit vague in my description, as I wanted to keep it short and snappy. Her exact words were something like "date? you're already putting pressure on me to date? I don't know..sorry to disappoint you, but I don't want any guys in my life right now. I'm not looking for anyone." I stopped talking to her, then she texts me "are you mad with me? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am confused about myself. I just need some time. It's really fun hanging out with you :)"

[Anonymous]

i did that to a guy he was so disrespectful and rude to me kept calling me bro and i didn't even feel like a girl around him he friendzoned me so bad i cut him off and have been happier since now i met a guy who treats me with the highest respect and i just wanna hug him and never let go

[pr3ttybr0wn]

you were the one who wasn't honest

you wanted more than friendship but you posed as a friend waiting for ur chance to get with her. she didn't owe you her body

[Asker]

I asked her out on a date..that's posing as a friend? She kept me waiting.
I suspect you're another one of those girls who strings along guys for attention.

[Asker]

By the way, you didn't answer the actual question.

[bunny_luv]

I'd feel guilty if I was her... she knows what she did... and I see nothing wrong with you deciding what you want and don't want in relationships... sorry to hear what happened and hope you can move on.