Why does my girlfriend act different around different people?

[Anonymous]

every time my girlfriend is around her friends she treats me really bad, or acts like she isn't going out with me. Then when I'm with her alone she acts SO different. If I ask her why she acts different she blows up and gets mad at me... its like I can never ask a question without her freaking out.

[CerebralCaustic]

can you give a specific example of when "she treats you really bad, or acts like she isn't going out with you?"

We all tend to behave differently around different people ... we can feel more or less confident, secure, funny, loved, etc, etc.

i tend to be quiet in groups, but more outspoken when I'm one-on-one. Why? Who knows. Humans can be complex, and a mystery even to ourselves. Just try to not take it personally most of the time.

But if she's being abusive or cruel, that's a different story. That's why I want to hear a specific example, so I can understand your problem a little better.

[Asker]

She cussses me out so bad for it, quits talking to me, tells all her friends and then they hate me, umm and I think that's some of it

[CerebralCaustic]

I suggest you tell her that you're hurt and offended by her behavior, and you'd like her to stop.

If you're calm and respectful, the way *she* responds can be very important for learning if she's worth your time.

If she's responsible and tries to change, she might be worth it because she's shown she cares and can own her misbehavior.

If she's cruel, gets defensive, calls you names, says the problem's all your fault, etc, then you might want to reconsider dating her.

[CerebralCaustic]

Lots of people think it's "normal" for women to behave like her.

But it's not normal. It's cruel and abusive.

So don't get into the habit of excusing women who hurt you, or who are cruel to you. Men can get trapped with a string of horrible girlfriends because they think it's okay for women to be b!tches.

Don't tolerate it from *anyone*.

You deserve better.

Good luck.

[wanacot]

My guess is her friends have told her they don't like you/don't think you're cool enough/etc. So, she acts like that around them because she has no guts to actually stand up for you. But, she still likes you so she is super nice to you when you're alone. She gets mad when you ask because she knows what she is doing is wrong but doesn't want to admit it.

Just my 2 cents.