What exactly is a tease? Am I being one?

[Anonymous]

What exactly is a tease?

The guy I'm seeing will flirt around and ask me for a topless picture. I told him no, and as a joke I sent him a normal picture and said that my clothes were on and I hoped that would do lol.

I was just kidding but he called me a tease. I think he was kidding too? But what exactly is a tease?

He knows I'm a virgin and not interested in having sex anytime soon but he will like to cuddle with me and touch me a lot. I don't like him touching me in certain ways and I tell him when he does that.

I've never been touched by a guy at all before- even holding hands- so I don't know what I like or what I'm okay with.

Sometimes he will say I'm teasing him.

Am I being a tease? What exactly is a tease?

[Anonymous]

You told him that you're not ready to have sex yet. If he isn't okay with taking it slow then he should stop trying to get in your pants. It is okay for you to make out with him and then stop if it gets too heavy. It is okay to cuddle with him and then ask him to stop touching you in certain places. As long as you tell him that you want to take it slow and that you're not ready for sex, then you're fine. If he knows you're not ready for sex, then he can't get mad if you won't have sex with him when he keeps coming after you.

Don't ever let a guy make you feel like you owe him sex. You don't. You don't owe him anything. Don't feel forced to have sex.

[Asker]

He knows I'm not ready and I tell him when he does something I'm not okay with, so I think i should be okay.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

so basically he's calling u a tease bc ur not doing what he wants. if u tell him straight up what u don't want then ur not being a tease. thats his fault bc he could just stop talking to u, but he hasn't bc he feels like one day he could just convince u to give it up so that's really his choice to stick around after uve told him ur not ready.. he's just being childish and calling u names bc he can't get what he wants. I don't know why you deal with him, doesn't sound like a good guy

[Anonymous]

He already knows you're not interested in sex, so you're not a tease.

If you told him you MIGHT be and rubbed his dick, then said no, you MIGHT be a tease then.

but in this case you aren't. dont listen to the d-bags that say you are

[Asker]

Okay. I don't get how I'm confusing him if I made it clear what I want..

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly... that's what i said... I just didn't know for certain if by make it clear you said "hey i'm not sleeping with you" or implied it.

[Asker]

I said it directly lol

[TheMotherFxcker]

You're leading him on, if you know he wants to fuck you (WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW HE DOES), and you aren't willing to give it up, you're being a cock tease. It's better if you just tell him now to break up or whatever, because your fucking with his feelings and he could very well end up losing on of the times he tries to touch your or w/e and you say no.

[Asker]

I don't get how I'm leading him on. I told him I'm not sleeping with him for a veryyyyyy long time- until and if we are in a really committed relationship.

I told him I understood if he wanted to see someone else but he's still here!

He continues to touch me and I honestly don't know what's okay or normal even because I've never done anything like this before

[TheMotherFxcker]

So just leave him alone, you keep saying he touches and you tell him you don't want to be touched that sexually, but he just thinks you're teasing because you still let him do it, I GUARANTEE IT, he will be asking for sex soon enough. So stop fucking with the guy.

[Asker]

If he touches me in a very sexual way I get uncomfortable and tell him I don't like it and that he should stop.

I don't get how I'm leading him on or anything if I'm telling him explicitly what I don't like.

[Asker]

He just tries a lot of things and I tell him what I like and don't like.

For example I like it if he puts his arms around me and plays with my hair, but I don't like if he tries to put his hand down my shirt.

I'll get uncomfortable and resist the touching and he will still try unless I tell him in a serious tone that I don't like it.

I just don't get how that is teasing.

[TheMotherFxcker]

Because IN HIS MIND (mine too), HE THINKS that you are teasing, even if you aren't.

[UPENDRA123]

Exactly tease is a act of increasing sex feeling inside somebody but not allowing to do anything. When he is eagerly waiting for your nude pic and u send a clothed pic his feelings aroise more . This is very similar to showing food to a hungry person but not allowing him to eat. It increases his apetite.

[Anonymous]

You cuddle, but haven't been touched?

[Asker]

He's the first guy I've cuddled with even. I've literally had no experience prior to this guy with anything- even kissing.

Kind of why I don't know what's okay or normal. He is aware I'm not sleeping with him for an extremely long time- i told him that directly so he knew.