Do girls really hate dating shy men?

Question

I asked out a girl at my college. First time in 2 years that I did it. However, I would regret it. While we went to Starbucks at our college she told me this: "I hate shy guys because they're wimps, losers, and sorry excuses of men." She told me "Good thing you're outgoing."

I looked at her and laughed, and told her: "You should know something, I'm a shy guy. I wanted to get to know you because you're pretty and seemed like you're nice. But you're not."

She tried to apologize, but I didn't accept it. I told her to leave me alone and don't talk to me again. If women are only interested meathead a**holes, and bad boys then they can have you all. Hopefully, you leave me alone and date the jerks you love so much. 

Do girls really feel this way about shy men?

Cinnamon16 · Accepted Answer

If I were you, I would have said "Define precisely what you mean by 'shy'." Because quite honestly, you guys may have had two different definitions of the term in mind when having this discussion.

To her, she may have defined "shy" as a guy who was overly meek, had no backbone, was unable to take charge or make decisions, and had no sense of self-worth or direction. It's possible she's had bad experiences with guys who were overly clingy or needy, or who were quiet to the point of boring.

To you, you may have defined "shy" as a guy who's simply on the quiet side until you get to know him. Someone who is kind and giving, but strong and knows his self-worth. Someone who tries to do what makes a girl happy, but never compromises his own needs or desires.

She would probably love a guy who fits your definition of "shy." And you would probably agree that a guy who fits her definition of "shy" isn't attractive.

Clear communication is important, and most people don't realize that two people can have vastly different conceptions of a word or idea... and end up disagreeing in the abstract, when in reality, they agree on the actual substance of the matter. I think that's what happened here.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Girls today have no patience to dig for the cool guy under the shyness. Oh well, their loss.

classicroyalty · Accepted Answer

I don't feel that way unless you are trying to be something you are not if you're shy and trying to be a jerk that makes you look stupid. Women who like bad boys are most likely to end up with three children alone doing a waitress job just to feed the kids while the guy is somewhere puting someone else in the same situation. Some girls take bad guys because they want a challenge and they want someone to fix so they try to change bad boys. I had a bad experience with a shy guy once, but if you're shy own it

bigowl_eyes · Accepted Answer

Not every girl is like that. I prefer shy guys over cocky guys, I can't stand cocky. Don't let get to you though, she probably didn't mean to offend you, like what they say communication is key. Everyone has their own view and definition on things. Like example I like shy guys, but I don't want you to be too shy to tell me something, if that makes sense? Like I want you to be comfortable with me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No, not at all I lke them. But one thing that I hate is not getting enough attention from a guy and tis sometimes happenes with shy guys. I don't know why they disappear sometimes, maybe this is because these type of people need more time to stay alone. I also hate pesimism that sometimes they express.

Negrodamus · Answer

"I wanted to get to know you because you're pretty and seemed like you're nice. But you're not."

I can't believe you told her this... a girl who agreed to go out on a date with you by her own free will, regardless of whether or not she felt you were shy or not. Clearly, she didn't think you were shy enough to avoid, so there was no reason to put her on blast like that. I would have just rolled with it and carried on the conversation

Damn dude...

damn...

Forca · Answer

Woah dude you pull no punches do you?  I bet she didn't know what hit her after that tirade.  Hahaha. Some girls prefer shy guys and some prefer more confident guys, it all depends on the girl.

kangle · Answer

Nope dear i love shy guys. M fiance is a shy guy who blushed around me a lot in beginning of our relationship n would stammer a lot lols. I had flirted a lot with bad boys but when it came to love, marriage n long term relationship, he outscored other guys. A gal might date bad boys but lov good guys who can make her secure. Believe me u r good d way u r:) find someone who loves u. I find shy guys cute n loyal:):):)

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

its usually a phase of preference. but no not all girls feel that way. every girl just wants a man, and they can give you that exact definition by just asking them. some opinions may differ slightly but they all usually stand along the same line.

Tokana · Answer

Just because someone is outgoing and confident it doesn't make them a meathead or an a$$hole. Generally speaking women prefer confident men,

DaCrownlessKing · Answer

Im sure a lot of girls do like shy guys but women have been conditioned to not make the first move because of societal expectations. You would have to be the one to make the first move. For sone reason women are more afraid of rejection then men, guess cuz they dont deal with it as much

RaeBae · Answer

All i can say is.. If I'm shy and you're shy lol who's gonna pull the other out the box. But i would never diss someone like she did. I guess he and I would jus be shy together :)

Anonymous · Answer

You sound like the asshole lol. Women like guys who go for what they want. She assumed you were one of those because you actually had the balls to ask her out, but then you turned into a big pussy who got his feelings hurt over a comment that should not have applied to you. You're an epic failure.

DragonWolf · Answer

Im pretty shy myself (hard to notice that online, but in real life i really am) so i dont see a problem with shy guys. =)

medical2523 · Answer

Dude I feel your pain as far as women going for the arrogant guys but when they start getting cheated on and mistreated that's when they wanna run to us. But to answer the question not all women are like this just ones that are too ignorant to remove themselves from the situation they are in whether that's dating assholes or being around people without brains

Anonymous · Answer

I would go right in front of my shy man and kiss him! :)

koibito · Answer

Yes. Shy men are generally a turn off for girls.

What's there to like about a guy who is shy? Being shy means that you don't have the guts to do what you desire. You don't have the courage, you don't do the things you know you ought to be doing. How can anyone rely on you to speak out? To do the right thing? To defend them? To put your own ideas forward and protect the interests of your loved ones? A shy guy isn't a leader. He is afraid.

aoifeislovable · Answer

No they deffinitly don't hate it if they did they wouldn't go out with them but I will say that a guy with a little confidence that isn't cocky is really sexy

SingerAtHeart · Answer

I love shy guys. I actually have a crush on a shy guy right now.

Anonymous · Answer

I think a lot of quieter people prefer a quieter partner.

ForeverFSixteen · Answer

To answer your question - no. Shy guys have so much character when you dig deep.

StickStickity13 · Answer

Good for you dude, standing up for yourself. Much respect!!!

Chance18811 · Answer

Truthfully No Girls/Women Don't Hate Guys/Men that Are Shy, They Love It.

KimLovesU · Answer

I love shy guys! Guys who try to hard to be cool are not my type.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I think shy guys are really cute :)

Do girls really hate dating shy men?

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