While your heart might be in the right place, Wildspirit, in the long run you may very well end up hurting the guy even worse. In future you'll want to reconsider about giving a fella a pity date. I think it's great you want to build his confidence, but when you inevitably reject him, his confidence will take fall from an even greater height than it would have had you just said no.
You do seem to like this person enough to want to help him out. In future, what do you think you could do to help him without actually dating him? Do you think you might be able to tell him become more attractive to women? Is there some way you could tell him how he could make himself more attractive? Is it his looks? Could you make suggestions how he could improve them? Is it his personality, and how might he improve that? At some time in the future, perhaps you could introduce him to some of your friends.
Have you seen jerks, assholes, players... call them whatever you'd like. Have you seen that confidence, that charm? And have you experienced that murderous feeling when they cheat on you? If you have then you know and if you haven't then you will. Guys like these ones who you feel pity for? They will seem like the low points of society that nobody wants to date, probably the reason why you agreed to a date. I just wanna tell you that don't be like..."Oh, Im so gonna friendzone him right after we go on this fake date I arranged by mistake.", He may not have all that confidence and stuff but he's like us only, give him a fair chance at this. If you don't like him after this then by all means... Friendzone him :)
Giving the guy hope is way worse. I've never gone on a date, let alone a pity date, so I don't have much experience in that regard. However, I have been told by all of the few guys I was interested in that I was pretty, smart and all around great, just to find out that I was indeed "great" in their eyes, but only as a "colleague". Yup, not even a friend. A "colleague". That jerkface you're forced to see everyday at your office. And all that after being complimented. It hurt bad, real bad, even worse than bullying. It's like giving a starving kid a piece of candy and just when he's unwrapping it, you take it away like "LOL, I was gonna eat it anyway. Sorry, kiddo".
OMG Yes! He was nice, but kind of desperate... so I said yes. He really was nice... but he brought his MOTHER on the date! HIS MOTHER!!!
So in turn, I felt like a 3rd wheel and it was the worst date ever! So of course I ended everything right after.
I feel like I was on a date with Norman Bates *shudders*
why waste your time? if he can't get girls that's his problem. your a pretty girl, perhaps he should try to go out with uglier girls who are closer to his league and he won't get rejected all the time. I wouldn't do pity dates
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I like how you have such good intentions. Seriously, I truly believe you made this decision with your heart in the right place. You didn't have any hidden motive (as far as I know).
Saying that, I would not lead this guy on any further though. End it after one date, and say that you had a good time, but don't see a relationship forming.
I understand you were trying to be nice. And you have good intentions of building his confidence. But it may backfire. Since you're already going I would say be friendly, but deflect any advancements with "teaching" him. Like a date coach. Maybe u could even tell him so he could relax a bit. So whatever u think is best
Its pretty sad and it destroys confidence, believe me i know.
I saw some disreapectful guys saying you should die alone which was sad. You made a mistake i hope you learn from it.
I would say text him and say as a friend date if it hasn't happened yet. Its his fault he gets rejected and such. he's gotta learn to not take it badly. he's given up. Just have a hang out tto build his confidence. Dont do set ups.
To be honest this is worse than being turned down for a date. He will think you were interested in him, but changed your mind after your date with him and that he perhaps did something wrong to lose your interest. I doubt this helped his confidence any.
Women like you are the reason so many men get so bitter, twisted, frustrated and resentful towards women.
A pity date? I hope you end up a lonely old fool, it's very the least you deserve. If any woman feels pity for me, they take that pity, turn it sideways and stick up their arse.
You really shouldn't lead him on like that. He may get hung up on you and not approach a girl who would really like him. And premeditated friend zoning is... weird? I've never even heard of that before.
A pity date then suddenly friendzoning. Ouch. Haven't you heard of "The higher the flight, the harder the fall"? If you want to befriend him, you should have done so from the start instead of giving false hopes.
I feel that if we dont like the person, we shouldn't go on a date with him/her. It may cause misunderstanding and yes it would be seem as leading him on
It's really sweet of you but just make sure you set the boundaries. I don't know why, as sad as this is in a way, it's just as sweet.
Don't go on a date with the guy. He honestly thinks he has a chance with you; being friend zoned is a terrible feeling.
That would be a cute story if you did that and ended up falling for him.
No, I haven't, but I did go on a date with a guy I didn't like. You should just make it into kind of a double date so it's not just the two of you maybe?
Pity date is only useful when you're double dating with friends or going to a wedding. Other than that I would just say you lead him on.
nah that ain't how i roll.
i keep it real, and a pity date is not keeping it real.
You are terrible for doing that and only will facilitate the destruction of this poor young man's confidence.
Well I can feel a depression valley ahead for the guy when he realize he got friendzoned
Yes I did and I regretted it. It hurt him more to lead him on. I have never done it again in the four years since, and I will never lead a guy on again.
To me that's low how would you feel if a guy only went out with you because he felt sorry for you? And yes you were wrong to leading him on. And it also makes up stuck up.
yes reading this was like reading my brains diary... but i always try to be nice... and don't spend too much money lol ...
Well just be straight with him he might be disappointed but this tells us that you have a good heart
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