Why won't guys date a single mother?

Question

I notice guys won't date a woman if she's got children but they will still have sex with her. And there are guys that just won't fuck with any mothers. ..

and also when a woman has a child does it really change the way sex feels for the man for the worse?

kylechris17 · Accepted Answer

My name is Kyle and was born on the (A week Tym) of (The same month) , 1964 at Texas Health HEB Bedford Texas. I am a very open minded person, someone who accepts people as they are, I am a fair individual who adapts to changes in life and enjoys life to the fullest, I am generally an optimistic person with a good sense of humor, fairly easy-going, and I don't think that I'm too critical about things, i'm very loving, caring, respectful, hardworking, faithful, truthful, understanding and very honesty... I'm looking to meet a woman that i can spend the rest of my life with in good times and in bad times as well, A woman that I can love and cherished with all my whole being and heart and I pray to God almighty that he will provide me with that kind of a woman someday in my life. I started A & A Children Academy at 6 and continue my middle school at Bedford Junior High School also here in Bedford Texas. I was very playful at school and it affected my academic works. I joined the Military academy at the age of 19 years. I was in the boarding school so my parents visit me once in a while. I didn't spend much time at home. My mom was a head teacher and dad was in the medical field.
I fought in the Gulf war in 1990 to 1991. The gulf war was fought to liberate Kuwait from autocratic rule of the late Saddam. I had a pretty bad experience. I am Warrant Officer (W01) and i'm also an Architect by Profession. I also act as Platoon manager in the absence of the Chief Warrant Officer (W-2). Am also the leader of my squad. I am a commission officer and I work in the management of the military. Am in the 1st Infantry Division... As you already know, I am currently stationed in Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan. I have to let you know that I am on my third mission to Afghanistan and I have already spent some months here in Afghanistan. My first mission to Afghanistan was in 2003 and ended in 2005. My Second was in the year 2006 and also ended 2007... I will be retiring from the Military in 2 months and i hoping and praying to find a loving, caring, understanding, honest, good, kind, respectful, hardworking, fun type and happy woman before i get home and i pray and hope i will find her and that woman will be you and you forever (NAME) thats why i really want us to chat and keep in touch then we see what happens next or between us or where this leads or takes us.. Anyway have to end here cuz they are more to talk and to know about each other when we get online.. Take care, be safe and have a very wonder

Xseed · Accepted Answer

I think most guys just feels that being with a single mother means he must also have a degree of responsibility to her child as well. If the guy is younger, like 20s, he'll feel that dating a single mother would mean that he would always be limited to what they can do together since the child must always be in mind. So no partying late, sex whenever they feel like it or to travel out of country, since most single mothers also have ex boyfriends or ex husbands who have legal rights to the child. Its also depends on how much the guy likes the girl. if he really likes her then he would be with her and her child despite any limited freedoms in the relationship. but most guys at that young age dont want to deal with the responsiblity of the child. Sex wise, no correlation what so ever. I've dated a single mother and sex with her was amazing, the whole 'vagina being stretched out' is not so true, i had no problem with that. So no, its not how bad or good the sex is, but its the fact that men would have to be responsible and would not have so much freedom in the relationship with a single mother.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

Common argument I've heard is that they dont want to raise another man's child. Or they dont want to hear a kid say "You ain't my daddy I dont have to listen to you!"

This is gonna sound mean but Imma keep it real. If you're a baby mama (divorced mothers not included) that is like the ultimate diss. It's like a guy nutted inside you and dipped out on you and left you holding the baby. That may not be accurate for all single moms, a lot of them were in legit relationships with the father, but thats how some guys judge it off the bat. You look better as a woman having been married and got a divorce, than a girl who was never wifed up but has a kid by a guy who didn't stick around. The divorced mom is assumed to have the child's father actively in the kids life so she won't be looking for a replacement daddy

crystalt70 · Accepted Answer

Real men don't care and will step up. That's so much sexier than a man who runs with his tail between his legs anyway. I have kids and they are all from the same dad. He only wants to bother with them during the holidays. We split because he cheated. I keep to myself. No way in hell do I want my ex back. These guys commenting are all making assumptions and excuses. I have had several guys willing to date me even though I have kids. They aren't scared. As far as the whole vagina being stretched out, that is so not true. If it were, many men would move on after the first kid. I hadn't had sex in a year and I was tighter than ever. I was sore for days and the guy wasn't that big.

Prettygurl12 · Accepted Answer

When dating a single mother, you must understand, he's not just dating her. He's essentially auditioning to be the father of a kid that's already on the ground. You can't do the fun newly dating stuff with a single mother because there's the kid you have to consider.

Plus guys seem to think that by dating her he's signing up to be in this kid's life and be the father figure and that scares the ever loving shit out of a lot of guys who don't have children of their own.

Add to that this complex they have with rearing another man's child and you're pretty much set to be a single mom until you're 45 and the guy's divorced and has three kids of his own.

AdamThomas · Answer

It's nothing to do with the sex feeling any different, it's about not having to take care of another man's kids. A lot of single women I've seen expect a lot from new men they date, expecting him to basically be a replacent Dad, to work to support them all while she stays home etc. Most guys don't want that for obvious reasons.

Then there are quite a few single Mothers who lie about birth control to get pregnant to try to trap a guy - that's how a lot of them end up single parents, tricking men who don't want to be Fathers into impregnating them and then complaining when they aren't around. In fact I was friends with benefits with a single Mother and she kept on trying to tell me not to use a condom eveb though she wasn't on any BC, she said she "probably wouldn't get pregnant" You can garuntee that when a woman has 3-4 kids all from different men that this is what she was trying to do. Again, men don't want this for obvious reasons.

And lastly there are the kinds of single Mothers you meet who are just cruel to their ex's and like to use their kids as weapons against them. No word of a lie, 2 girls I met who were both single Mothers showed off about how they did this and laughed about it on the first date. Fucking idiots.

Are all single Mothers like this? Obviously not. But you never know, and there are plenty of hot, single, childless women out there.

JoeE21 · Answer

If I liked the girl and wanted to try and get to know her or start something, I'd make an effort. Just because you have a kid, doesn't mean people shouldn't date you. Yes it'd be weird not being the father or whatever, but if you love the girl, you can make it work. It takes a special kind of guy to do this. It shows you really care about her and the kid and you're not just in it for sex or some short relationship. It wouldn't stop me, but everyone's different

AutumnBloom · Answer

I've tried dating guys who had kids and I've realized I just become attached to the kids more than him so I told myself never again for a lot of guys or from what my guy friends tell me is they won't date single moms because they are initially taking a part in the responsibility of raising them and if it didn't work out they've invested time and feel it's a waste especially since the mother can say she doesn't want them to see them anymore. I know a few guys that has happened to especially one he got attached to the idea of this girl being his daughter and the mom broke up with him and won't let him see her even though she thinks that's her dad. I think it can be really confusing as well for younger kids.

Sixtus64 · Answer

However one defines dating, it connotes something more than just having sex (when I was your age 100 years ago we use to date to get sex, not the other way around). In your age group, most unattached men are not looking for either a serious relationship or one with a child. They may still be in school, trying to get careers established, paying off student loans - a woman with a child screams responsibility and commitment in capital letters. It's scary.
Does sex feel different after a woman has a child? If it was a vaginal birth with a large child she may not feel as "tight" but I have found that mothers can be very sexual and more attuned with their bodies, having birthed and nursed a child. And a woman who knows her body is a great partner between the sheets.

theshewolf · Answer

thats not true, some guys will date a mother because he knows she most likely has her own place as well as a job meaning she's always gonna make sure she's financially stable since she has kids... some won't because they dont want to deal with the father of the kids drama etc... then there's guys that won't completely mess with mothers because they dont want the kids getting attached to them or dont want to feel as though they have to be a father or second father to the kids... i mean im sure a guy would rather date a mother thats stable than date a single girl thats not stable in life... as for sex... i have no clue... oh yeah then there's the guys that just have sex with her.. but thats just because those type of guys just have sex with anybody mother or not...

srslyly · Answer

The median household income for a single mother headed household was under $23,000 last time I looked. This means that the large majority of single moms only survive and feed their kids due to the tax and welfare advantages they qualify for. If you add in my income, she'd lose $0.80 for every $1.00 I'd be bringing home. Her expectation is probably that her quality of life would go up, but the opposite would happen for both of us. In her disappointment she'd eject me from the family I was only in at her invitation.

northernligths · Answer

What you say I have noticed. There seems to be a double standard. Many women (not all) will date a man with kids... its actually attractive to some woman that a man is caring for his kids alone. But its not attractive to some men men (not all) that a woman has kids and she is caring for them alone. As for the men wanting to have sex with a woman who has kids but won't date her, thats no surprise a lot of men are desperate for sex and kids or no kids if he has an opportunity he will go for it. I reiterate this is NOT the case for all men, all men are not desperate for sex, some have standards and will be selective of who they stick it to.

bHappY512 · Answer

Wow guys. Everyone's situation is different! Meeting a great girl with a child and automatically assuming the worst things you can think of and not giving her a chance is ignorance at it's best. I agree that there are some women out there that try to "trap men" but there are also a lot that had things happen at an inconvenient time in their lives or with the wrong person. And just because they decided to do the right thing and raise the child instead of adoption or abortion (yes I understand every situation is different ladies) some of you guys already rule her out before getting to know her? Wtf! Sorry rant over. Super passionate about this topic. There are still good men out there that will accept you and your kid (s) and NOT see it as a burden

VanillaSalt · Answer

after several kids would u be the same down there... the inside is a muscle so it returns back the way it was but the outer lips dont... kids are responsibility and young women that are single with kids show lack of responsibility... guys will basically fuck anything that has a vagina... i entered into a relationship with my first girly for a 2nd time after he had kids... we were talking online while she was preggy.. she had a 3 year old son and was having a daughter... i was there in person taking my responsibility form the first week the baby was born and even though they wernt my kids i loved and protected them... some dont want responsibility... some dont want kids type of responsibility... some dont want to grow attached to them and then break apart form mommy and never be able to see the kids again... besides kids make dating and sex awkward for some people..

RationalMale · Answer

It's a couple of reasons, why most guys won't really date a single mom. Added responsibility, less free time on her part, the kids knowing full well you're not and never will be their dad, the constant reminder of her past fling, emotional baggage from that fling, you'll never be number 1 in her life since that spot is already filled. What if you want to have your own kids, then it's a messed up half/brother situation.

What it mostly boils down to is...

Why date a single mom when there's plenty of single women out there without kids? I mean, really. There's literally no reason to date a single mom with so many single, childless women out there.

heavensgift2girls · Answer

I am not interested in dating any mothers. I am also only interested in long term relationships. Since I don't want to date a mother, that also means I am not going to be having sex with them either. Experience has taught me that I will always be seen as the outsider in HER family. I want a family of my own, and to not be treated like an outsider. I am sure some single mother out there isn't like that, but at this point, it is easier just to avoid them entirely.

Bcarson21 · Answer

Personally I don't want to date or have sex with a single mother. I'm 20 years old, I'm not interested in that kind of relationship. I have no problems being friends with a single mother and even helping out whenever they need help, but really if I get in that kind of relationship i'll feel like I have some kind of responsibility towards taking care of her child. I'm pretty sure most single mothers won't put that kind of pressure on you, but I rather not take the chance.

Nemesis8 · Answer

Have you ever heard the term Cougar. A mother cougar is always on the prowl for her kits next meal! That's why I never have any relationship with a mother. Can't pay for her mistakes. If women would understand their nesting instinct they would make a better choice of a man instead of looking at his ass and other physical features , but then that is nature. Evolutionary psychology very basic premise is " that if a man has meat he wi have sex and if a woman has sex she wi have meat" you know cave man stuff! Bigger house car boat you know bigger head rack! People look at the wrong stuff for a relationship that's why your still looking and wondering and looking for some other person to raise your own brood and you will always put your children before there stepfather! That's just to list a few reasons there are a plethora of others! You dig your own grave lay in it! Don't expect to have someone else dig you out of it! Have a nice day! Oh I never read my responses do t waist your time!

HANSHANS4 · Answer

My best friend was pregnant with another man's baby and her ex boyfriend took her back. Look at the girls on teen mom, most of them got married/bf's and they already had kids. I don't know I just notice a lot of single moms find someone eventually, it's just harder for them because most men don't want to raise kids that aren't theirs.

AidenBlue · Answer

When you have a kid - there is likely a father somewhere and that is drama that is not fun in a relationship. Maybe you could hop on here and give some advice to these kids that want to have kids before they are married. Let them know what a train wreck it is to have a normal social life as a single mom. How a child is not like a cute pet but a real 24x7 responsibility.

You could really help some of the poster on this site.

AlleyCat1982 · Answer

1) Bad experiences.
2) The ex will always be around
3) The man will be in the backseat of the child.
4) Baby's daddy drama
5) Some states require the man to pay child support even if it's not his kid just because he was with her past a year. California is well known for that.

Koldhearted · Answer

When I buy a used game, I prefer to start a new file rather than continue from another persons game.

It'd be hard for me to think of anything serious with a single mom at this stage in my life.

Maybe if I was 30 and all women already had a kid.

Gref_1988 · Answer

I want to give to my biological child the best future I can do. I if I go out with single mother I will have to split my financial resources between mine and her child. So my own child will have at most half of what I could give in a normal family. He will have cheaper toys, cheaper gadgets, cheaper clothes, cheaper education and so on. He won't get that much attention neither. I don't judge men who go with single mothers. If thats makes them happy, I am only glad. But for me it's immoral to deprive my own child of love and attention for another kid.

PT1911 · Answer

I feel like I would have to be very financially stable. I would have no problem dating a single mother, I want kids of my own someday, but really, if she has kids, I feel like my number 1 priority would be being extremely financially stable, not just breaking even like I do now, but having a surplus

yellowmamba024 · Answer

I am not a fan of baggages and I am also not up to raising someone else's child. Single mother are just like damaged goods to me. And also, I feel like I am a second to single mothers. Someone else got to have the fun with her and end up impregnating those women. No thanks.

Why won't guys date a single mother?

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