Acting distant after sex for the first time. Should I be concerned?

[ders2032]

Seeing this girl for about 2 weeks, had sex after 1 week (4th date) last friday. She said she doesn't sleep with random guys and didn't really want to that early, so I didn't push it but we got carried away and she was very clear that she wanted it. Her legs were shaking after and she peeled most of the skin off my back so I don't really have any reason to think it was anything but good. But for the last week she's been playing the 'deliberately wait to reply' game, usually 10-30 minutes, and her texts have gotten shorter and less flirty than they were before when she would reply almost instantly. Had lunch yesterday, seemed a little off but kissed me normally and conversation was fairly normal but she did casually mention that she thinks we did it a little soon, but not in a way like she regretted it. She knows I've sort of been around and she makes little comments to try and make me think she "knows what she's doing" but she's obviously nervous around me, I've even asked her jokingly on our 3rd date and she said she's never nervous around guys but for some reason she is more than normal around me (in a good way). She just got out of a long term relationship about 2 months ago and I think she's just trying hard to not seem clingy and too attached after first time sex, I'm curious to know what some of you think (especially women). And sorry for the novel, I get a little long winded explaining things sometimes

[why_not_anonymous]

I think you're right on track, she's not trying to be clingy, and she's trying not to move too fast (and failing), and doesn't really want just a rebound guy (but is probably afraid you're going to be one).

Just keep steady, and treat her right and she'll eventually come around (give her a month or so).

Tell her you're definitely down for more sex, but that you can totally wait till she's ready for it. ie: give her a breather.

[bb02281991]

She's probably just trying to figure it out and not seem clingy. I do the same. She's trying to play it cool. If I were you I would plan a date something she would like and have a good time. She'll open up and feel less nervous. If she doesn't then she may just be evaluating if she likes you or wants something out of this

[ders2032]

And I'm almost positive that's what it is. Should I just act like nothing's wrong when talking to her or should I bring it up if she doesn't sort it out after a while? I get the feeling that if I just bring it up casually and tell her that I don't expect anything from her if she feels uncomfortable it could help, or it could be too much and push her away. I normally don't fret over this sort of thing but I really like this girl and I'd like to not mess it up by overdoing anything

[bb02281991]

I would just ask if something is on her mind casually and open ended. Don't ask if she is uncomfortable because that may not be the case at all and she may just be busy or have something else she is dealing with. If she says nothing is wrong than trust her, you gave her an opportunity to speak. I would give it a date or two and let her figure it out on her own