Prom date? Should I cancel it with her?

[jerardmeh]

I had finally done it. I had asked the girl of my dreams out to prom. And she said yes. I'm 15 and never had a prom date before, let alone a girlfriend- with no experience with girls for that matter. I live in the UK, so prom for me is a kind-of once in a lifetime event, as one attends there after one has left school at sixteen. I was really excited about it at first; but however it has been 4 weeks and despite her giving me her number and having great texting conversations, I always have to be the one to start a conversation with her.

During a free-period walking down to the local gym with my friend, he said that he didn't want to "offend or upset me in any way", but he overheard her talking with her friends that she only said yes to me as she didn't want to hurt my feelings. This is probably true, as:

1) She is more popular, good looking
2) She doesn't like to hurt others' feelings

I think this was a very kind and noble thing to do on her behalf, but I feel that if I did go to the prom with her it would be a complete waste of both her and my time, as she would not want to be there with me and I would have "that guilt-like feeling" and that little guilt thought in the back of my mind that I've sort of "made her" go there even when she doesn't want to?

I mean, I only want to go with her as a friend, nothing more.

Should I cancel it with her?
When I talk to her, I get nervous, stutter, and she could take it the wrong way as in I don't want to go with her if my friend is just starting a rumour (although he's very honest)

I would be incredibly grateful for any descriptive responses received. Please bear in mind when giving advice that I am very socially awkward and unpopular, and she is the exact opposite!

Thank you.

[Yaeza]

I'm in America and asked a girl out to Homecoming, but I did it more out of pressure from her and her/our friends than actually liking her, I still went with her, but, honestly, I ditched her not long after we arrived because I really wasn't having any fun around her and her friends and had far more fun with my friends and I felt guilty about asking her but not actually wanting to go with her, so that caused less fun.

I am socially awkward, to the extent that I can make friends, with the help of people along the way. Having recently moved, in my old area I wasn't particularly popular, if borderline hated by some cliques of people.

So, what I am trying to say is, don't make the same mistake I did, don't go with her if she just said yes because she didn't want to hurt your feelings and that cause you not to have fun. But, I am saying you should still go, because you could have fun while there anyways, whether it be walking and looking around, or hanging out with your friends.

A quote I read somewhere went along the lines of "A smart man makes mistakes, then learns from them so as to not make them again, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of the smart man so as to not make them in the first place." Do you understand what I mean?

[Yaeza]

Hope I helped!

[Debenham]

Crikey thats an iffy one.

If it was me, I'd go through with it and do my best to make sure it's a good night for all. To turn around now and let her down could leave her feeling a little humiliated. But it could also leave her relieved depending on this specific individual.

[jerardmeh]

Thanks!

[Kyshy]

If it's really bothering you, why don't you just ask her? You could explain to her that you don't want her to feel uncomfortable and that you merely asked her on friendly terms.

Either that, or you could just stop worrying and go and have a good time! No harm done there.

Good lu

[Kyshy]

*Good luck! I hope you don't end up skipping out !

[jerardmeh]

Thanks!

[ixi10]

Sure cancel it. You won't have fun and she won't have fun with all your insecurities

[jerardmeh]

Thank you!

[pakrulz]

I say go with it. Show her what a fun and likable person you can be and let her see that side of you. If you cancel then she'll continue to think of you in the same way. I think the odds are in your favor considering you already know the reason she yes and that fact that she did say yes.