Why do guys think that girls only care about looks?

[Anonymous]

I don't know I just don't understand why that's a common assumption

for me and I think its safe to say many, many other girls its just not true

i am friends with a so called "hot" guy and I have no interest in him what so ever I am however currently very attracted to a guy who I previously thought very little of the way he looked.

so I just wanted to clarify and ask what gives guys that impression? though I'd must admit girls think that guys only care about looks

[sonic241928]

Well, you kinda said it in your question--with the guy you're attracted to now, you "previously thought very little of the way he looked." What made you attracted to him? Was it only later, after you got to know his personality, that your feelings changed?

I kinda understand how a girl can fall in love with a guy's personality despite his looks, but looks definitely seem to matter in the beginning stages. I've seen many questions on this site about the physical features a girl likes in a guy, with very specific preferences. A "less attractive" (whatever that is) guy may get fewer chances to show a girl his attractive personality due to being pre-screened and rejected on the basis of looks. A shyer, less outgoing guy like me might start to feel a little troubled by that--even more so in my case, since I don't always think I'm good-looking and I belong to an ethnicity that people tend to dismiss immediately. Finally, guys are easily attracted to girls and turned-on visually (although it's not nearly the only thing important to us when we look for a quality relationship with a girl), so we often assume that girls must be the same way at times. The best of luck to you.

[Asker]

Actually the guy I was talking about I still don't know anything more about him now except his name and as I said to paigems I have no idea why my feelings have changed but I understand what your saying I just don't think girls are like that but then again I have never been in that position - I do know for certain not all girls are like that because I may have thought he was "less attractive" but I would never have treated him any different to anyone else but maybe I'm just nice :)

[sonic241928]

I see what you mean. Well, I guess that can happen from the guy's perspective too (happened with me a couple of times), where you suddenly become physically attracted to someone you haven't been before. Back when you thought he was "less attractive," would you have dated him if he asked you out? If so then I consider you a truly unique and enlightened person : )

[Asker]

I'd say I'd probably have gotten to know him first, I wouldn't have just gone straight into a full blown relationship with him, but I probably wouldn't do that with any other guy either

[sonic241928]

OK, well that's cool : )

[Jpalms56]

Simple..Almost every girl I know only cares about looks. To be fair..most guys only care about looks lol. I honestly care more about ehr personality and my friends give me sh*t for that but its w/e. Guys notice that too. I;ve talked to my friends about how shallow girls are. However I do know girls that care about more than looks which is good.

[Anonymous]

Girls are just as shallow as guys are. An unattractive person of either gender is going to face more difficulties with the opposite sex than a good looking person would, that's just the way it is. Either fix yourself up so you can get in the game or continue striking out. Ugly people would rather date a hot person too so it goes both ways. The better looking you are, you have more opportunities at relationships. Personality does matter but looks is what attracts people 90% of the time.

[paigems]

Well, what do you think of how he looks now? You probably are physically attracted to him right? Guys are mostly the same way as girls. They may be physically attracted to someone, but they think the person has a horrible personality, and therefore would not like to date them. So even though everyone wants to date someone they are physically attracted to, it's not all about looks.

[Asker]

I don't know I don't think its a physical thing because I'm not blind there are plenty of "hot" guys around but I'm just not attracted to them when I get attracted to someone I don't know I think its because for some reason they seem different from other guys - the way they hold themselves and the confidence they give out? - there's just this thing about them I don't know how to explain it

[paigems]

Well, you cannot think this guys is ugly right? You must be at least slightly physically attracted to him....

[Asker]

No you're right, I see your point, I am now obviously but what I mean is that guys tend to assume that no girl will give them a chance unless there gorgeous and I just don't think that's the case, maybe that's just me

[paigems]

Well, I don't think they have to be the generic gorgeous looking guy, but, for me at least, I do have to think they're gorgeous. For example, almost no one has thought the last two guys I liked were attractive, but I thought they looked amazing.

[Reeses-pieces777]

it might be because you look good, theyautomatically assume that you will judge a guy on looks as well-which is not right

[brettb]

Ok let me give you an example. there's 2 guys guy#1 is really hot and ahd a crappy personality. Guy #2 is ugly but is the most charming, chivalry guy on the planet and they both were into you. Who would you choose to date without getting to know them? Most likely the hot guy right? Well the same goes for when girls approach guys and talk to them. they don't give the ugly a chance to show off how charming he may be as the girl has already chosen the hot guy to talk to. And yes guys do care about looks, I ain't going to lie, but guys like a variety of different girls which may have unique qualities that attract us to her.

[Asker]

Thats my point though, that assumption that we would automatically choose the hot guy when that's often not the case with a lot of women, when there is someone less attractive standing right in front of them, they do give them a chance in case they do have that charming personality that everyone wants. And in fact many women don't persue hot guys purely because of the assumption that most hot guys have crap personalities, because of how they look.

[brettb]

So from ur point of view, either I'm really hot or what you said isn't true and I doubt that I'm the 1st option. This all goes from experience that guys have had in the past and how they get rejected by a girl they like but then that same girl goes out with a hotter guy instead.

[Asker]

Not all women would agree but many would, and yes you do have to like the way they look to some extent, but you also can't help who you are and aren't attracted to and those feelings can change when you get to know their personality, when you give them a chance. She might go out with someone hotter but that's a matter of opinion, what's hot to her might be ugly to the next girl and just because you think that guy is hotter doesn't mean she does. With your view there's always going to be a hotter guy.

[brettb]

That was very well said.

[Ricaard]

I get what ur saying, but that's not what happens with most girls. They instead pick the hot guy hoping the he has that charming personality everyone wants, the ugly guy gets no chance. Women straight up tell ugly guys "you're single cause you're ugly" so we take their word.

[johnny_hustle]

I think finding someone attractive and finding someone who is hott is two different catagories. I know a lot of really hott girls, but most of them are stuck up, what I find attractive is someone who isn't a bitch, stuck up, or shallow. Also to me an ugly person physically who has an amazing personality and has the qualities I'm looking for in a girl, is more attractive than that really hott girl who is stuck up. yeah she may be hott as hell, but not at all one bit attractive. The guys who only date girls, based off of looks, only really want one thing and that is sex, and being able to tell their friends that they fu*ked a hott girl.

Also the same thing with girls, if a girl will only go after hott guys, they want to fit in to the social status and basically show off to their friends that their man is hott.

The way I see it, why bother getitng in a relationship based off of looks alone. because then it wouldn't last long at all.

[Orion]

Guys are visual so we see good looks as important, and can't understand how an "ugly guy" lands a hot GF. We can't see what else could open the door for him. It also doesn't help when we talk to girls and they rave about how hot some other guy is while passing over us as the regular guy so while you might say it's not every girl that goes for looks there are still plenty of nice average or "ugly" guys wondering "why isn't she interested in me?"

[Asker]

I get what you mean but when you see a group of hot girls there's still usually only one or two you want more with so why would you assume that when there's a group of nice guys we would want all of them just because your nice doesn't mean your in there's more than one aspect of personality girls are looking for and although the guy may be nice and that's great he may not have other things that particular girl is looking for but then there will be some other girl who thinks he's perfect as is

[Orion]

"Want" for guys has a couple of meanings though, even though you might "want" a deep relationship, Sexy girl = "want" always. While this doesn't mean we want to marry every girl in the group getting to know any of them is still on the table. The assumption from that point is that if you women see a group of attractive men, you'd want to get to know them too before you'd want to get to know the average guy trailing behind them.

[Asker]

No what I mean is just because you have the qualities that girls might say they want doesn't mean they are going to be interested. a guy may have all the right qualities but just not be the right guy and there are a number of reasons other than looks that could account for that

[Orion]

No I understand that, but when a guy is sitting in the friend zone while women talk about Muscles McGee, it's kinda hard to think every girl thinks about substance. I'm not saying all girls a like this but it happens often enough for guys to question it.

[Asker]

Yeah it does seem shallow when you put it like that

[faux_punk]

The world is shallow enough that I can stand in it's puddle and not get my feet wet.

Serously it's all standards. Girls typically have higher standards then men because in most cases girls can get who ever they want into bed, where as guys typically have to do more work for the same results.

[guitar-head]

I don't only care about looks. Looks are part of the factor, but no, personality is the main thing I lok for. If you're really "hot" yea guys'll want to be around you, but personality will set you apart from any plastic barbie. Tell me if my advice wa a flop.

[Asker]

No that's good advice, its nice to know because a lot of the time it doesn't seem like it which makes me less inclined to act on my feelings cause if guys are only looking for barbie then what's the point? cause I'm definately no barbie

[guitar-head]

Ye exacty, but you do hae to watch outfor he guystht say their in it for the persnality, and then just use you. A lot ofguys sre good though, just watch out for the one with badintentions

[phijays]

well, my personal view is, that there are at least two sorts of attractions. As a guy I can be very attracted to a "hot" girl without her even saying a word to me. But the feeling only lasts until the next hot girl comes along. Then again a kind, honest, real, sweet girl I've actually talked to will leave me longing for the next time I see her... I can only hope that some of you girls think like me...

[sonic241928]

I agree with you 100% man...

[Nekuya]

I agree completely. Sexy guys are real eye candy, but a special guy makes you feel emotionally complete.

[arizonagt]

Because we want some way to quantify our success in attracting girls. We're very competitive. Many men judge girls solely on looks and believe that they're being judged the same way. There will always be that select group of guys that are only interested in a girl's appearance but that hardly covers the attitude of our entire gender.

[DeadKennedy]

Lots of different people with different degrees of shallowness. Usually when I come across a fairly attractive girl at school/work I expect her o b shallow and don't talk to her because I assume shell think she's above me, only o b proven wrong on many occasions.

[ShawnMHeide]

because most of your extremely beautiful girls do really focus on how a guy looks and those same guys asking why they do that are not good looking enough to get those girls so they get frustrated because they don't care enough to make themselves as good looking as those girls to get those girls... they expect those girls to just run up to them and kiss them... well it doesn't work that way, you have to work just as hard as that girl to get to that level...

[Anonymous]

I unfortunately view girls as being shallow. I dated the ugly duckling turned swan for a few years. I am a good looking guy, never had a problem getting girls. I have a great personality, but I'm a little chubby. It never bothered her in the beginning, she was so happy I was her boyfriend and that I always wanted to do things with her. Now she "doesn't like fat guys" and we broke up. She was my whole world. That's why I think girls are all about looks.

[Asker]

Yeah I'm not denying that there are girls like that because there definately are it just sucks becuase they make the rest of us look bad when where not

[Opinion Owner]

She'll figure out what she lost with me soon enough. I just hope I am on to better things by then.

[Asker]

She will realize eventually and you'll find someone great who thinks your perfect as you are, you shouldnt change for anyone and no one should expect you to

[Opinion Owner]

Well I thank you very much for saying those kind words. I really hope and pray that does happen for me. I hope she doesn't think she's going to look the way she does forever either. Unfortunately guys usually age better than women. That wouldn't have taken away my love for her. My mom is a beautiful lady, but had a bunch of kids and doesn't look the way she did at eighteen. My dad still looks at her like she's the most beautiful thing in the world. It's really nice, and I want to be like that.

[122092aka]

Lol when I got my girlfriend I thought she was so far out of my 'league' but I guess I'm 'hot' to girls, just insecurities that I hate. But when I got her I started doing Bartendaz workouts and after 2 years

i broke up with her but I love doing the workouts still, not to say your chubby but you could use it as motivation for your next girlfriend if it still bugs you.

[fleeble]

Women are overly critical of a man's sex drive and then go apesh*t when they see a hot guy and start moaning "he's sooooooooooooo" cute. Guys hate deceitful behavior.

I have to say, I now know enough to only care about looks.

[Asker]

Thats a generalisation which may be accurate with some but isn't with all of us and people who judge only based on looks give everyone else a bad reputation.

[drakal76]

just as many girls out there are critical on themselves when they compare themselves to "media-women", us guys look at ourselves and criticize ourselves just as harshly. we are just as self-concious as girls are!

[Anonymous]

Because most girls your age do only care about looks. They are looking for a good time and it's not until they are in their mid 20's do girls grow up and want to settle down. Then, their priorities change big time and looks become less important. It's unfortunate but that's the way it is.

[tex151]

Because guys only care about looks in a girl, but what they don't realize is that women don't always go for looks they go more for personality. But a guy wants a hot chick even if she's an idiot.

[BullDoG]

well it is the natural chemistry loveismoreahormaonal thing I guess.

so look sendsthe first impression girls are more atracted to beter looking uys b cos of thevisual signal butthat isonly 1part but otherguys may not get the chance to know the girl b cos he's not that much Atrrative but I belive if allthe guys hv the sameopertunity guys with better qualityie will win

[_Gerald_]

When I hear a girl describe a guy... the word "hot" or "cute" comes up when more often than "smart" or "nice".

Also, why do hot guys have a easier time approaching girls and girls approach hot guys more often?

[Asker]

If you talk seriously with a girl about who she likes or is dating you'll find girls say he’s cute and sweet and funny and I love this and that... and it’s not easy to approach or be approached and I know this from experience, a 'hot' guy approached me and we talked for a minute and then I got so nervous I just left. I don’t know as I'm not a hot guy but I think they find it just as difficult but they’re confident in themselves because of their looks, and whos hot depends on who you ask.

[Profundus_Sententia]

It is typically the most shallow of comments that are conveyed at the loudest volume.

[bitesizedonut]

What was that... I can't quite here you? Your comment wasn't shallow enough :)

[rocksongwriter]

"...however currently very attracted to a guy who I previously thought very little of the way he looked."

What changed things?

[Asker]

I have no idea, my feelings just changed I guess

[cacapisu]

I don't think they care about looks , they care about personality, confidence and social status

[Littletad]

Where did you hear this? Girls are for more lenient to a guy's looks than a guy is towards a girls.

[Asker]

It appears to be a pretty common view