He talks to other people all the time, but not to me.

OK. So there's this guy at work who I think is absolutely adorable. Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a big flirt, and usually make friends easily with guys. I've told a few of my friends at work about this crush I have on him and it took them totally by surprise. They said "he doesn't seem like your type". Again, anyone who knows me, knows that I am very attracted to nerdy, video game obsessed boys... which this guy is... But getting to the point... I've worked with him for about a year and I have comfortable and casual conversations with EVERYONE I work with, except for him. I just thought he was shy, but my friends from work always talk about how much of a chatterbox he is. I don't understand why he doesn't feel comfortable or doesn't feel the need to talk with me, but he never does, aside from the usual courtesies ("hello", "goodbye", "thank you", "you're welcome"). Sometimes, he even comes back to talk to us when we all have downtime and he seems totally comfortable and chatty with my friends, yet never utters a word to me (except "hello") and when it's just him and I, we don't come close to having a conversation. I know for a fact that I am intimidated by him because I don't want to sound like an idiot to him and this might be part of the reason why he doesn't talk to me. But is it possible that he is also intimidated by me? I've asked around and people seem to think that is possible, but I really sometimes just feel like he couldn't be bothered with me. And that totally bums me out because I pride myself on being down to earth, approachable, and even likable. Help!

 

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well... This is nice... I think you already know what your real issue is and what the solution to it would be.

    Anyhow... Here are some tips:

    Just be yourself. BE COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC!

    That means: Say whatever you want to say, ask whatever you want to ask, and do whatever you want to do.

    The problem with you, however, is HOW THE HELL DO I GET RID OF MY NERVOUSNESS? O_o

    And that's something you'll have to guide yourself through yourself. Mainly it's FEAR of him not liking you back, like you said yourself.

    And that's a problem: you shouldn't worry. You should just be yourself and let him like you for WHO YOU ARE. If you are yourself and he doesn't like you, then that's too bad and good riddance to him, and good for you too. Because let's be honest: would you rather have a guy who solely liked you for the mask that you put over your face, or would you rather have a guy who liked you for WHO YOU REALLY ARE?

    I've made my choice a while back. I'm myself, I've shed the mask a whole while back now, and I have a girlfriend for a year now who likes me for who I am. It works. Try it ;p

    So, here's the magic formula:

    1) Let go of hopes, fears and expectations. Something you could try to achieve this is to JUST. BREATHE. Like in meditation. Take a deep breath in. Take a deep breath out. Let go. Relax.

    2) Say to yourself that "This is going to be awsome!" or something to that effect, then SMILE, and go up to him, NOT with the thought of "Oh my god! What am I going to say? What if he doesn't like me?", but with the thought "I'm going to have SOOO much fun with this guy".

    This is to distract you from your fears, to let them go, and to get you into a happy mood in stead of a nervous one.

    3) JUST BE YOURSELF.

    Say what you want to say, ask what you want to ask, and do what you want to do.

    Simple as that. So simple a child can do it.

    Take a Deep Breath. Think Happy Thoughts. and Just Be Yourself.

    Done and done! :)

    Hope you got some useful info, and go and try out some of this stuff. Do come back and tell us how it went. We wanna know whether you succeed or not. ;p

    So good luck, and have a great day! ^^

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