Are girls suspicious of really attractive guys?

Question

I get A LOT of attention for girls. Not being big headed but thats just how it is. I always have done and I've been told by many people that Im good looking. However, quite a few times when I've seen girls checking me out, I will speak to them and face so much resistance, and if they do give me their number, I will ask them to meet up and they won't. Its like they dont trust me.

However, when women in their mid-20s find me attractive, they are the ones who make the most effort. Unfortunately I dont really want to date women who are like 5 years older than me.

Are girls in their late teens/early 20s suspicious of guys they find attractive? Do they think that a good looking guy is a player, because Im really not, and I never go after girls just for sex.

NB. The only girls this age who seem to make an effort with me are girls that I actually know, either in my college class or at work, but many have said that they were scared of me when they first met me

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i only get attention from the hottest women. ... everyone else ignores or hates me. in my experience the blonder they are in terms of hair done etc they just wait around me and give me no signals except they wait around me if i dont approach them they speed up and walk away without turning around. everyone else who doesn't look like they come from the club and a lot more obvious when signaling me.

the younger you are the more suspicious in my experience theyve been... looking for your social status. so suspicious when theyre younger in my experience. usually they never speak to me. only if they have to. theyre usually red in the face and avoiding me. and sometimes theyre legs shake lol. sometimes i really dislike it when women like me. they know nothing about me and the 25+ years of emotional abuse i encountered with my parents and its effects. theyre always putting me on a pedestal and then are disapointed when i am not the stereotype. if they only knew im "that" and MORE they just can't see it all they see is their own insecurities in me. of course they never make it. i dislike them. theyre shallow. i tell them im not interested and they usually wonder why. ... i didn't lose much on 1 woman like that. they dont seem to mind that much. they have an army of ugly beta men out there who wana suck up to them. why would i wana be with women like that? what hurts is the amount of shallow women out there i have to say "no" to.

errorgoodnameunfound · Accepted Answer

OK here's the thing. Yes, girls should be suspicious of "good looking" guys. Yes they are more likely to be an ass and y'all should approach with caution. Some good looking guys can be OK, but some just be careful. To the asker, yea girls are going to be cautious with ya bro. That just means they are smart because they know looks may deceive. Damn I wish all girls were like that as well as guys. Try approaching a girl dude. It'll indicate you are single. And be as straight forward as possible. Give little to no charm. Treat a girl slightly like a bro that way they forget about whether you are a guy or not and y'all can just be homies. Then go from there. That's how I do it. I'm cautious of hot girls myself. Its a two way st. There's been a real pretty girl that's called me cute. I wanted to give her a chance but she was so shy and always on her phone. And I knew she was sporty and experiencd with guys while I'm a nerd inexperiencd with girls. I approaced super cautiously. I tried showing no desperation or even little interest. But I was just casual. Neutral. That's probably the best method to most things is being neutral and building slowly but surely from there.

tommi22 · Accepted Answer

Geez, from the content of your question it seems that you have encountered a large number of girls who can register on a wide spectrum of circumstances. A girl who is confident in herself, or at least tries to use her head even when her hormones are boiling, will be patient and observant. A guy who is a player, you know all talk and charm with the morals and depth of rattle snake, usually comes out soon. If a girl is lonely, has been hurt before, on the rebound, etc., wow, like who hasn't been in any one of these situations, is going to be more vulnerable and probably not making any judgements on a guy's character based on reality. She's more or less firing off on her own projections depending on her needs at the moment and if you are a hunk, well geez, ferget-about-it, she's bouncing off the walls naming your children before you get a chance to finish that first cup of coffee. So pass on those kind of girls and go for the other. It sounds like you are ready to meet a pretty girl who is both intelligent and has a strong center of knowing who she is and is serving the goals in her life. A girl like this will appreciate that you are handsome but won't go off the rocker because of it. It's kind of like she appreciates sweet things but definitely chooses not to live on jelly filled donuts. She will always prefer the kind of meals that enable her to kick ass when doing a triathlon.

inamorata · Accepted Answer

All girls are very insecure and it's a guy's job to mend that. It's worse for you because a girl who sees you are handsome presumes you are not insecure and should have no trouble pursuing. She may even presume she should push you away to seem different from other girls who just fall into your arms.
So even slightest indifference and passiveness from you makes them presume you don't care that much. To them you, as a possibly confident guy, would probably tell them if you found them attractive. If you're not being expressive and active in your pursuit, you must be bored and picking up randomly.
Ironically enough, you actually have no choice but to appear like a good player.

Also...
I flaked on a guy for a week because I felt fat (swelling before my period and holiday pounds) and didn't feel like letting the world see me dressed up. And I'm not the only girl I know who acts like this.

Combination of "I just met this guy and I don't have feelings yet" and "something about me/my life is making me not perfectly happy and calm" is enough to set off flaking.
The second cause is doubled when the guy is hot and we feel we have to live up to some standard of perfection we concocted in our heads, because he's handsome.

sarahbear11 · Accepted Answer

it tends to be personality/attitude more that looks that determine if a guy comes of as a player. personally i try to give guys the benefit of the doubt, but if you come off as a bit cocky or if i have heard things about you that can really effect my willingness to give someone a chance. if you are seriously interested in trying to ask out a girl you need to make it fairly clear that you are currently only interested in her. ik everyone plays the field a little bit but since you are attractive your field is quite a bit larger that most so that can be a little intimidating to a girl you are trying to get close to. just be sweet and genuine (you sound like you are) and probably try to avoid bring up anything about appearance at first (even if its a joke like "oh look at that guy's funny haircut") cuz unfortunately its very easy for an attractive person to come of as superficial

Belleza2 · Answer

I mean ever heard of a saying a handsome man is never your man! Well if you haven't there you go! Attractive men know they are attractive and obviously to me it's this, I look at you and I see someone who will never commit to just one girl, he will want to cheat on me when he sees I'm changing and some perky girl passes by he will go after her!

The problem is unattractive guys have problems picking up girls and so do attractive ones when they actually want to settle down. It's a cruel cycle!

I honestly don't know if there is a way to help you in how to approach a girl, I guess just show her some way that your not an ass!

ManaX · Answer

My ex was like you but I had my reasons both to be and not to be slightly suspicious of him.
When it comes to attractive men I will trust them until they give me a reason otherwise. But at the same time I will not be serious about them until they show me that is what they want.
Of someone is truly attractive there inevitably will be competition. I wouldn't care about the competition, I know who I am and where I stand. A person that cares about that is unsure of themselves. Besides, the guy should also be aware he's not the only person I'm talking to either. This works for me.
I only date attractive men, but this is how I think any woman should treat a relationship tbh. It takes away the pressure, the stress and any expectations. It makes what is between 2 people much easier.

Anonymous · Answer

I definitely was intimidated by attractive guys in my early twenties. If you really like a girl and she seems intimidated, just boost her confidence, show her you're serious about her and not just playing. Unless you are just playing, in which case play with someone who wants to be played with and not someone who's trying to protect their feelings!

Destinee7 · Answer

I dated a tall, cute guy with a great body. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous. It was all about him, not me. For that reason Im not so quick to date a good looking guy. Plus he had a lot of girls throwing themselve at him. Thats the downside of dating a hot guy. You seem a little more humble. So which ever girl u end up with, just reassure her that u love her & she's beautiful. totally uneccessary to tell her about all the girls who's after u. totally uneccessary to tell her how good looking u are. compliment her. not yourself. let her compliment u. my ex did all of that I mentioned & it was a huge turnoff.

LittleMissTara · Answer

When someone really attractive flirts with me, I feel a little bit suspicious that maybe he's a player because he probably gets a lot of really pretty girls and I'm just another girl to him. I'll usually try to go for the typical "nice guys" because of the experience I've had with hotties. But hey, if an Abercrombie model was completely cuckoo for me, I wouldn't mind ;) lol

julieloves26 · Answer

I think it all depends on the type of girl it is. Whether or not she's outgoing, whether or not she cares a lot about you being attractive, if she cares about image, if she's too shy, how experienced she is with dating guys, what kind of guy she's into. Every girl is different.

findingdreamland · Answer

I don't get suspicious. I noticed most of the attractive guys are arrogant. I don't like this attitude. Very few are down to earth and likeable. If you are one of them, you don't need to worry. Be yourself. And be a decent guy. That is it. Looks can't go forever.

liveloverace21 · Answer

We are suspicious of overly smooth guys, not attractive guys. It just so happens that guys who are confident in themselves sometimes come off that way. What we are worried about is womanizers and "pick up artists" who make a sport of bedding girls that will hurt us later or give us STDs.

Aud_Queen · Answer

I'm very wary (don't expect much from them) of attractive guys in general because most of the ones I know are really full of themselves. They're about a handful that can keep their ego in check. But if I met an attractive guy and we clicked, I'd give him a chance for sure.

Hannah591 · Answer

As a generalisation, really good looking men often are talking to numerous women, have had many sexual partners and probably are getting some right now, but just wants to add you to his list of women to fuck.

Of course, it's not always true but I think that's what women think about at first or they're insecure and think you're talking to them for a dare or as a joke so they distance themselves.

Gabbycrose · Answer

Well it could be that they have a bf already and they just thought that you were good looking. Butnof they don't have a bf and they are still hesitant about going out then it could be that they do have trust issues... Most guys who are players are good looking so I think that it's probably that they just want to take things slow and get to know you first

Little_Mystery18 · Answer

There is this guy at my high school who is popular and in my opinion looks like a look alike of Leonardo DiCaprio and he seems to be interested in me but Im not popular. Im the nerdy outcast. When he smiles at me or tries to get my attention I feel like someone is putting him up to it. lol I dont trust attractive guys flirting with girls who are shy, nerdy and almost an outcast.

Foxxpaw · Answer

Oh yea, hot guys are shady.
I get super squirrely and nervous and end up looking batshit crazy anyway... lol the walk home takes a lot longer when your kicking yourself the whole way... I go from george clooney to napoleon dynamite in 2 seconds flat around a good looking man... lol

Kyndra · Answer

There this reaaally cute guy I'm talking to, both personality and looks. But yeah, when he says something suggestive I think if I would just be a pity fuck. He's so out of my league.

darkpoetry · Answer

I actually feel really bad because so many guys take advantage and screw girls around and thank the Lord I would never take someone to bed too soon :) if you came up to me and talked to me I'd probably be completely shocked and flattered but extremely shy but if you asked me out (after you talked to me for a little) I would definitely say yes ^.^ haha guys don't scare me.. sorta ;P anyways good luck with your search I'm sure you'll find that girl xx

Angelicsailor · Answer

In a way yes and no, if you want advice I would say that being open is good and not every girl you talk to will like you or your personality, try not being to forward like staring just be a little more coffee shop chili I guess? They very well could be intimidated by you it depends on how you look if you have a clean-shaven face or if you have a more gruff look personally I don't have a preference but most people do, just like how you decide if you like a girl I want to get to know a girl by her hair the way she stands the way she talks her personality, face, eyes facial structure all kinds of stuff like that it's the same way for girls basically-! I wish you the best of luck man!! Plus as a side not, you can never be to careful these days and so if your in a more city area girls are definetly not gonna trust you outright they still don't know if your a axe murderer or something Kay?

girl111m · Answer

no im not really suspicious i actually find less attractive boys tend to be players by the way I dont know if my opinion counts for your age criteria im 23.

cavmanier · Answer

Have you ever seen the movie "the gods must be crazy?" A guy dropped a soda bottle out of an airplane and a primitive African saw it drop. He thought it was from god. I think that's what your doing here, correlation without cause.

I bet your personality and the randomness from the sample size you've met are the reason.

paperfriendd · Answer

Yeah I am but, like I give them a chance like see what they talk to me about etc... instead of jumping to conclusions that they are playing me :) Like a guy that constantly talks about wanting to have sex with you is a no no

Robke · Answer

Nah, not me. I know a player when I see one, not all of them are eye candies but they have this obvious attitude and cockyness that is very obvious. I would judge you from how you act, pretty face says nothing. ;)

Are girls suspicious of really attractive guys?

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