She is shy? I think she likes me, but she avoids/ignores me sometimes, which I find rather confusing.
I work at a bank, and she works 2 blocks from me on the same street at a fast food joint. She is 24 and thinks I’m 25, but in actuality I’m slightly younger.
The very first time I saw this girl I asked her out, she blew me off in a polite way, giving me a very buyable excuses. ( she is a foreign student, who works full time and takes care of her younger sisters)
A few weeks later, I still pursue her at her work place. Now I keep getting signs from her, like staring at me, or when I look into her eyes, she looks straight flat to the ground. She flirts with me by teasing me once in a while, but very subtly. Her friend at work, giggles at everything I say. She called us both crazy at some point. I establish that she is SHY of me.
So then one day I buy her a book on a topic she is interested in, and right a small note, saying I am fond of her, and would like to get to know her better. She responds by saying she loved the book. (In that book I wrote something in her language, which she tells me she didn’t understand, so she makes me say it) I ask her that she should teach me her language, she thinks it’s a great idea. So I say fine teach me now. She just smiles and looks to the floor. Another day I go to her with a paper and pen, and right something in English telling her to translate, and she does. Then I write my e-mail and phone on a paper, and hand it to her, and am about to leave, when she says she doesn’t understand. When I say really? What don’t you understand? She then says no she does understand now.
I actually didn’t expect her to call because of her shyness, but I gave that info to her anyway thinking that she just might, or just to tease her, but to now to make matters more confusing, ever since I’ve known her (it has been about 4 months) we sometimes catch the same bus every now and then, and at times I’m already waiting on the stop, and I see her walking towards the stop, but when I guess she notices that I’m around. She just at once takes another route. Now that I find to me extremely troubling? Does she like me? Or she just hates my guts and can't stand the very sight of me, that she has to completely avoid me? I mean she is shy, but come on how shy can someone be, especially when they are 24 years old you know? And secondly its not like I’m coming off to strong. All I want is to get to know her better first? Why is she acting like this?
-Thanks for reading. Any honest and thoughtful remarks will be most appreciative and helpful. Cheers
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
I can appreciate that some women are shy (is she Asian?) but what I can't understand is why you're being so shy.
You need to man up and either burn this bridge (so you can stop wasting your time... 4 months! Really?!... and start focusing on a woman who's not so much work) - OR - step up and make things happen.
Get her number. Get her email. Get her Facebook. If she's really shy she's going to need you to lead EVERYTHING.
- you call her.
- you email her.
- you invite her out for dinner.
- you pick her up.
- you pay.
- you hold her hand.
- you hug her first.
- you kiss her first.
These are all the normal steps every guy should do, but especially in your case.
Until she says "Stop. No thanks. I'm not interested."
Eventually she's either going to stop you, or she's going to end up married to you.
I imagine she would never last this long with you because ultimately her boring shy personality would likely push you away (long term.)
Now go back there, line up a date, and don't leave until you get her number.
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What Girls Said 3
You have showed your interest in her now its time for her to show some real interest. My best advice would be to pull back and see how she reacts. You will than know how interested she is in you. If she likes you, and thinks she's loosing you she will try to get your attention again. The whole cat mouse game is human nature, you want what you can't have, so make her htink she can't have you bys distancing yourself and see what happens.
you might be spending too much time trying to get this woman, I think if she was really intrested she would have toalready accepted you. 24 is a little too old to always be shy around a guy she has to say yes she's intrested or no she isn't so she doesn't keep giving you false hopes. Everytime she looks down I think she is just being shy. Good luck :)
What Guys Said 2
Hey, sorry to disturb you, I'm a university student from Singapore.
And I have a almost same situation with you a year earlier, well not exactly the same, but we are dealing with the same shy girl. Short story (I try not to disturb you too much). I've hanged out a lot with this girl, chat and even going out a few times, and when we meet we can talk almost anything, when she is not in the shy mood offcourse, which sometimes come out. But then, the school start again, and a lot of her friends start to tease her, and now she suddenly continue to avoidind me, I need to wait for the whole damn long for a very short message, and I saw her see me at the canteen recently, when I see her back, she immediately throw her face again and walk away avoiding me.
My theory (I got a few backup from her frined saying approximarely this is correct) is, when her friend tease her, maybe she realize that what I've done is basically saying I like her (give her Christmast present, and a few times paying for her meal at the canteen). And when she knew it, because of her shy nature, she can't help to avoid me. I don't know yet about her feelings toward me, but defintely she is very comfortable around and talk to me before, and perhaps she imagine me as her crush too, but I'm not sure about this yet. (maybe shy girl just like imagination and got scared when it comes becoming real, isn'it)
And just one question for you, what happened to your case, did you wait and the girl try to contact you in the end? But how long do I need to wait? Or you are the one who make a move and ask her story, why her need to shy? If that, so may I know what her story?
Really thank you very much, you may not know, but I will very very appreciate your help for this.
It sounds to me like she's not interested and is being polite, but it's really, really hard to tell unless I was in your shoes (body language should be viewed to be judged).
Anyways, if you're really into her and she won't give you a straight answer to your more "subtle" advances, just make one that forces her to tell you that she is or is not interested. By this I don't mean kiss her or make a move on her, but simply be upfront and ask her in person what her story is.