If a guy treats you different than other girls, who is he actually flirting with?

[kdizzleforizzle91]

There's a guy in a class of mine. He always acts flirty and sexual with most other girls I see him with, but he teases me all the time. He even asks other girls out, but hasn't made a move with me. He also seems like he's trying to impress me, and he always brags about things about himself. He is nice to me once in a while, but usually treats me like crap and we argue a lot. So, my conclusion is that this could all mean one of three things:

1. He likes me, or is trying to make me jealous and see how I react when he flirts with other girls.

2. He respects me and knows I'm not slutty, so instead of flirting with me and acting sexual, he picks on me instead. But this could lead to another question... if that's his way of flirting with me, does he really like me OR all the other girls?

3. He actually does enjoy picking on me, and does it just for fun.

Which one of these is most likely true? I'm not very forward, and think the guy should ask the girl out. All the other girls think he's adorable, but I always act like I don't, because I don't want to be another one of those girls that throws herself at him.

[Littletad]

A flirty guy or player rarely sticks to one girl. If he's flirting with you and other girls, then he's flirting with everyone else. There is no one "special" girl he's after until he makes it official with that girl.

My guess is that he's a bit more real to you. A bit more down to earth since you share a class and have a few similar interest. But don't take that as a sign that he's into you only. If you want to see how serious he is about you, ignore him for a few days completely. If he starts getting concerned why your ignoring him, then you know he at least cares about you. From there, you should be able to distinguish whether you want to pursue something with this guy or not.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

Thanks! This is all very insightful and useful advice. I've already tried ignoring him, but it's tough. He tries to be the class clown, and it's hard not to laugh.

[Crazycanuck]

This is a tough call and I can only think of two answers 1.) It sounds like he likes you and is afraid to admit it or 2.) He's doing it to impress his buddy's or the other girls that his flirting with (A.K.A being an ass) BUT...I would put my money on number 1 because its more likely

[kdizzleforizzle91]

I agree. He really has no reason to use me to impress other girls or friends, because they all already think he's adorable and everything.

[lovetolaugh1881]

i would say number 2 because usually when guys pick on you, they like you (or they are just complete jerks) and the fact that he treats you different than every other girl is a big sign too...if you weren't special to him than he would probably treat you like those other girls...next time he "picks" on you say "why are you so mean to me" with a pouty face, its cute and guys usually seem to like it...his answer might give you clues to his true feelings...hope this helps

[tigerbalm23]

Thanks for the advice, but I've already asked him. I actually told some friends I might be moving, and he overheard. He said "Nooo!!! You can't move! I'd miss you. You're my orchestra buddy!" That's the class we have together. I said "I'm your buddy? You sure have a weird way of showing it. You're always teasing me." He said "That's just how we communicate!" I just kinda laughed sarcastically, then he ran over to me and hugged me... and this was the first time he has EVER initiated a hug.

[lovetolaugh1881]

Sorry I couldn't help more.....its seems like he is really close to you though (more than you might think and closer than he is to other girls) which is a very good thing

[tigerbalm23]

I still appreciate opinions. The only thing now is that I want to get him to ask me out, that way I'll know he actually is interested, and it'll mean more to both of us I think. I think he's intimidated to ask me out , though. I'm different than other girls, and I don't constantly throw myself at him or praise him like they do... AND I'm a senior & he's a sophomore. So I don't know what to do. : (

I have a mutual friend that could help.. but she thinks I hate his guts, because of the teasing.

[ivarei]

he's probably just a really flirtatious guy. he may not even know that he's flirting, for him it just might be him having some fun and he doesn't realize how he comes off.

[shortie]

Honestly, I hate to say it but it sounds like he just doesn't like you in that way...

[nick369]

The best way how you can find this out is just ignore him for few days don't respond to him just behave as if you don't bother what he is doing now if he really likes you he will surely come back to you & would like to know the reason for it, if he does so that means he really likes you & if not then I beleive he is just having fun.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

If I ignore him and he responds like that, then what should I do next? I never know what to say. I need an entire game plan, which is not my forte in guy world. Ha ha.

[smilealways70]

actually that means he doesn't have you're attention anymore because he wants all the girls to like him so he tries to get your attention sometimes this is the case

[sweetanytimeofday]

first of all, that's great , that you don't want to be like all the other girls and throw yourself at him. We all know what that will do to him... So maybe you can ask him which of the girls he talks to is he most interested in? Or something along the lines of," Why do you treat me so horrible and mean?" But I think he is interested in you. Maybe you should also play the same card, and go and talk to other guys and see how he likes it.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

Thanks for the compliment! I already have asked him why he treats me the way he does, and he replied "Because you were picking on me." Even though this is true, he started the whole ordeal. So I really haven't gotten a very good answer. We only have one class together, and I see him in the halls maybe twice a day, and we're both always moving really fast, but I usually manage to give and receive eye contact. Since he's not around that much, talking to other guys might not work.

[arizonagt]

I think it's not all that unlikely that he's likes you. Many guys when talking to girls, tend to talk more easily with girls they're more comfortable with. That is to say that it would be much easier for them to joke around with girls that they aren't interested in: I know that was the case with me for a while. He could be acting a bit more tame around you because he really values how you think about him.

[tigerbalm23]

Hmmm. Sounds interesting. Some other people have said that he's being more real to me and has more respect for me, which is why he doesn't act sexual like with the other girls. And also that he might see me as a girl he could be more serious with and actually date, instead of just get sex from. It's starting to seem like that might be the case.

[arizonagt]

That doesn't sound all that unlikely. I know that I tend to be a bit more serious around girls that I'm interested in whereas with ones that I just consider friends I don't mind joking around and essentially pretend flirting with. He could be trying to make a better impression on you as someone reliable than he would bother with making when hanging around casually with friends.

[tigerbalm23]

Yeah, I think I'll go with that. haha. I'm just not sure how to get him to ask me out. That way I'll know for sure he's interested. I might be asking him to a movie with a couple other friends (guy & girl) so it won't be awkward. I'm just not sure how to word it when I ask him or how I should ask if he wants to pay for my ticket or just his... since I'd be asking, you know? So I'm trying to figure that out. And I think if he offers, or even if he goes, it probably means he's interested.

[arizonagt]

I think the best bet is to make the first move, ask him to go to the movie with some friends (preferably a guy and girl so it can play out as sort of a double date). Just ask if he's doing anything on what ever day you're planning on and if he's not then ask weather he wants to go to the movies with a few friends. Also as far as paying it might play out better to have everyone pay for their own shares as it's not exactly a date (and it could help to prevent some awkward situations!).

[tigerbalm23]

The only thing is that I want to know if he'd want it to be a date, even if I ask. If he decides to go, should I say "Okay, cool, see you then." Or should I say "Cool, it's a date." And see what he says? I don't want to scare him away, since I'm not completely sure if he likes me in that way. So I don't know if saying "date" would be able to show my interest without scaring him away. The whole thing depends on if my guy friend and his girlfriend can go.

[arizonagt]

I would think that wording it like that wouldn't be likely to scare him off and might give him more of an idea of your feelings. It sounds like a good idea.

[jerseyse410]

i think he might genuinely like you and doesn't act that way with you like he does with other girls because he wants you to know that he's more serious with you. That's what I see at least.

[Anonymous]

Who was he flirting with?

[kdizzleforizzle91]

No one in particular. He's just flirty. He was already interested in someone else. And now he's seriously into two girls, I guess.