Ladies, have you been accused of playing games while they are not mind games?

[Brian-Brain]

A few days ago I asked the question what mind games guys play with women. I noticed that with some of the answers the women thought they were mind games while they were not mind games at all. They were just guy’s behavior. Yet they were considered as mind games.

I would like to kind of reverse this question. So:

1. What mind games do men think that women play that are not actually not mind games at all.
2. And can you explain why they are not mind games

[Azara]

Yes usually not talking not saying how I feel. Not games just not always want to talk and not good at talking about feelings

Thing is people take it as a game bc a lot if people DO act detached to gain power. There are books written on it. So if someone feels slighted and embarrassed it's pretty easy to fall back on thinking it mustcbe intentional.

Also there's something to be said for among an effort. You Might not be playing games on purpose but it's kind of a game if you're not trying. I learnt that by upsetting people unintentionally.

You either care or you don't. If you care and don't act like it then it's a game with yourself that spills over.

Games are not simg intentionally trying to duck with someone else. That can just be an unintended consequence of your own behavior within yourself.

[Brian-Brain]

Could I also say that a game is only a game when it is perceived by the other party as a game?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Yes guys sometimes claim you are playing mind games with them just because you aren't giving them what they want.

I have had a guy tell me I was playing games with him because we were dating and I wasn't ready to have sex. he thought I was playing with him. no I just am not ready and don't really trust you yet.

had a guy think I was playing games because I didn't pick up the phone every time he called. its called being busy and at work?

had a guy think I was playing games because I refused to see him. I wasn't playing games, I was just angry at something he did and most people aren't jumping to hang out with someone that they are upset with

[Brian-Brain]

I think in all of the cases you mentioned it was mind games. But not of you. But of them. They were trying to make you feel guilty and tricking you into doing what they want. Sorry to hear that.
Thanks for the info.

[sp33d]

Guilt-tripping by men? What the hell is the world coming to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IY0sxSbh4Y

[fromtheashes87]

that is exactly what I was thinking. I've had this happen to me a lot. you give a guy your number and he texts and calls repeatedly and then claims that you lead him on or are blowing him off. If I give you my number it means that I like you enough to not want to lose all contact with you since I may want to see you again. it does NOT mean that you have instantly become my purpose in life or that I will meet you for drinks the next day because you are looking for a piece

[arigee7]

Mind games I play, and God forbid my man doesn't catch on, all hell breaks loose...
I'm not mad=I'm mad
Nothings wrong=something's wrong
Do whatever you want=you better not do whatever you want
Its okay=it's not okay
Ignoring him=he begs for me to talk to him
No sex=sex
Leave me alone=beg to talk to me
No babe I don't this=yes I want it
Etc. Etc. Etc.
He gets these things now, since men mature slower than women I helped him learn these mind games by using a reward system. If he understands me, he get rewarded, usually sex!

[Brian-Brain]

Okay. I understand that sometimes men and women speak the same language in a very different accent. It's good to learn from each other. My question is why not for example tell him it's not okay when it is not not okay not therefore not have any problems?

[arigee7]

It doesn't always work, like, I can tell him that some things wrong, but it won't click in his mind, but if I show that it has upset me, he understands that what he's done is wrong and has the need to correct it

[PLAYAH]

This is why my girlfriend cheated on me. For not knowing hee thought. Glad im okay now. Ill pray for your boyfriend

[sp33d]

Too much reverse psychology in the air and it means there's too much distrust between the two. Fights start happening and all goes downhill.
Very good luck with that.

[washize]

I've been accused of playing mind games by guys who refused to listen to what my wants and needs were. They were the type of guys who believed that "women never say what they mean". They never took me seriously and always did the opposite of what I asked and always thought I meant the opposite of what I said. I never dated these guys, but they were potential partners. However when I learned they were sexist shit bags I'd cut off all communication and they thought I was playing some type of "game". They couldn't comprehend that I was person with my own thoughts, wants, and needs.

I wasn't playing any mind games, they simply refused to acknowledge me as a human being. They couldn't comprehend that all women aren't the same. They didn't think I had a mind of my own. Since they didn't think I was a person, they thought I was playing a "Game" because their idea of what women are didn't add up to who I was.

[boatfullofpeace]

Yep. I've dealt with a guy who refused to listen to what my wants and needs were and would then complain that I was "selfish" and "overreacting" simply because he refused to comprehend how he was mistreating me. Ain't nobody got time for that! :)

[fromtheashes87]

guys usually accuse women of playing mind games when they want to control them or guilt them into something whether it's staying in an abusive relationship or sex. I even had a guy try to make me feel bad because I couldn't drive him 45 mins to his house after agreeing to drive him to a hotel in town from the club. drove all over town and there wasn't any vacancy. really wasn't my fault and I had work in the morning. I'm a compassionate person but that's just too much for someone you've known for all of two hours

[kaylaS91]

Yes for sure, more than once. These supposed 'games' ranged from not telling him if and why I was upset, to leaving wherever we were if a heated discussion were to take place.

They weren't games because girls also can reach a point where they just don't care anymore. Sometimes those arguments will become completely ridiculous in that there's obviously no happy medium, and it goes around in circles till both parties seem to forget what the issue even is. Either that, or sometimes I just want to leave and clear my head in hopes of seeing things clearer and hopefully being more willing to compromise even more on my part.

[MaskedSanity]

Only online, when I was on a dating website and got buttloads of messages and could hardly keep up replying. Some guys got all offended for me taking too long to respond and told me they're not going to "play my game", pffffft.

No skin off my bones, bruh.

[Brian-Brain]

I understand. I have tried a dating site for a while and probably like most guys my inbox was pretty empty. I guess we guys do not fully understand how many messages women get. So when she is slow with the response we say that it must be a game she is playing.

Thank you for your input.

[MaskedSanity]

I tried to reply to every message I got, because I know how much it sucks for guys to be constantly ignored online, but for every 1 reply you get 5 new messages from different guys. It's pretty mad.

[Brian-Brain]

Don't worry about it. Take it from a guy. The guys that are worth to meet are patient anyway.

[MaskedSanity]

Well, I've already found my man and we've been happily together for 3 years. :)

[Anonymous]

I have by two different guys. I put off dates and acted hot/cold for months with both yet they tried and tried. I didn't realise i was doing it at the time as I didn't know I was bipolar but they said I play mind games and that i'm a cock tease... I miss talking to the most recent guy :( he cut me off after I initiated sexting then immediately after orgasm I told him I don't like him anymore, I regret it... don't let me initiate it again because I don't feel connected to him anymore... now he's ignoring texts :( :'(

[username1988]

When i talk towards him he thinks im using reverse psychology

[Brian-Brain]

Wouldn't walking away from him be reverse psychology? Just kidding.
Wow, I'm baffled. That makes it hard to do anything. Never knew us guys did that.
Thanks for sharing.

[username1988]

Your welcome lol

[Anonymous]

Yeah. When pull back intensity of interest because I'm not getting what i need from him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get when in fact I'm licking my wounds.

[Brian-Brain]

I totally understand. I can see how this is not a game. I think in this case it is his ego saying * Why is this girl pulling away from me while we had something good going on. She must be playing a game*.

[ImNotASlut]

All. The time. Nothing pisses me off more than being punished for something I didn't do, especially considering the things I have done!

[Anonymous]

Men think we are too emotional and sensitive yet that's what they want. Or they chase you but once you give in they get bored and bugger off. Mind games are for the immature boys that don't know what they want, same deal for women.

[JellyBean2015]

Yes. ALL THE TIME with my best friend who is male. :/

[thewanderingme]

nope.
...

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have.