Is awkwardness a turn off?

[isthatarose]

I'm a very anxious person and I get nervous in uncomfortable situations or around guys I think are hot. I work at a coffee shop and I think my manager is hot. He's blond, brown eyes and perfect smile. Well, anyway. When he's watching me, I get nervous and start to sweat a little and I even dropped a cup of coffee before because I felt his eyes on mines. One day I was on my way home and I noticed him looking at me from a distance and I dropped my book bag on the floor. Lol. I'm so embarrassed. I wish I was more well put together and not so nervous. I would imagine a guy of his caliber would be turned off by awkwardness. When he talks to me I stutter or stumble over my words.

[The_Tiger]

I can only speak for myself, but I believe that a lot off guys think this way too. I think that it is not a turn off. it makes you look a bit more cute, because you seem so innocent and well.. a little bit helpless. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing or you are helpless. What I mean is that you being a bit clumsy, or a bit messy makes you look a bit cuter (at least in my eyes). I would not worry about it. What would seem awkward to you might not be awkward for him at all. A tip would be to be a bit more self konfident then you look like a woman who knows what she is doing. You should watch Vsauce's video on awkwardness. It explains a lot. Hope it helped.

[Jrud10]

I don't find awkwardness to be a turn off. I'm seeing a girl right now who thinks the world of me for some reason, just like you seem to for your boss; and she stumbles around on words and actions too XD

I find it to be really endearing, and it makes me like her all the more. I think I might actually be a little sad the day she realizes that I'm just a human being and I make mistakes too haha.

[isthatarose]

Aw. This is cute.

[AvaMarina]

For some guys, it probably is, tbh. I've gone out with guys who think it's cute, though, and heard some others saying the same thing. So don't feel too bad about it, apparently it can be cute. I'm sure you're just fine as you are, anyway. :)

[isthatarose]

I wasn't always this awkward. Its like the older I get, the more awkward i am

[AvaMarina]

That's how I am too, haha. Used to be a social pro when I was younger, and slowly got more and more awkward. I'll be a hermit by the time I'm 25.

[Em_Power]

Not at all! It's cute and endearing... means someone has to work a little harder to earn your trust and get to know you better under all those nerves :) Of course, if he ain't prepared to do that, he ain't worth it.

[Your_boss960]

I hope its not a turn off. Even though im not awkward

[Anonymous]

Not so much as that "fake awkwardness" that dumbheads like to pull off. You know, the girls that when you crack a joke first thing instead of following the only little social rules they know, and they go "umm... creepy".

If it's genuine awkwardness, it can be overlooked but you should start putting yourself through self-improvement exercises to overcome it.

[isthatarose]

Have any recommendations? How to self improve my self conciousness and nervousness?

[Opinion Owner]

Exposure, exposure, exposure. The best practice with most things is to just do it. You have an anxiety built up in your head when you encounter these situations that fills you with a bunch of "what if's". When you have these unanswered questions, you start getting fearful because the brain doesn't like being left in the dark.

So the more you expose yourself to these situations and practice self-control, the more that mystery is taken away and replaced by experience. You're basically trying to re-wire and re-write your response (and shutdown) to these anxieties and fears, which aren't even going to kill you.

[isthatarose]

True. May hurt me but it won't kill me. I believe it started from being rejected a lot. In high school and middle school, I never had a boyfriend and every time I liked a guy and would tell him or a friend would tell him, he wouldn't be interested. After it happened so many times I lost my confidence and started to think something was wrong with me. Guys never tried to date me in school and the guys I liked weren't interested. In college, it got a little better. I improved my looks and start dressing and showing my body and guys start paying attention to me but it was never genuine. It was always sexual. So then I started resenting men for my lack of experience and confidence. Now I'm almost 23 and I avoid rejection at all cost. I never approach or initiate anything. I let everyone come to me. I know that's a bad habit but its safer that way. Tired of being rejected and not accepted.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I know it's hard to feel like you got your comfort level wrecked and now YOU have to be the one to clean it up, but that's just a reality of life. You're responsible for yourself 100% of the time, even if someone else does you wrong.

I've had my own situations that would stir up old emotions or feelings, and I'd do the same thing: run. But I luckily started telling myself, "these things can't rule me and the only thing I'm running from is the discomfort that comes with the anxiety or fear of embarrassment". And nobody ever got anything worthwhile being comfortable all the time. Sometimes, you just have to grit your teeth, take some pain and discomfort, and rip that motherfucking band-aid right off ;)

[isthatarose]

I really appreciate your advice. Very insightful. I will take everything you said and consider it. Nothing happens in comfort. I have to face my fears. I think if I thought more highly of myself rejection wouldn't hurt as much.

[Opinion Owner]

That's what the practice is for- to feel better and more secure with yourself. It seems frustrating because you think you need to have that self-security BEFORE you go trying to improve yourself, but nothing is given to you. You have to work for it and make it solidly part of you. That's why the hardest part is first starting out, and where most people quit (with anything, not just this stuff). But it starts snowballing after a while and builds into more that you can work with.

[Klaatu51]

4 m it'd be a litle bit tbh... sorry basically...:-/

[isthatarose]

What does tbh mean

[Not-present]

To be honest

[idkwtftoputhere]

If it is, I'm going to end up being alone for a very very long time.

[goretcki]

That sounds really cute.

[blondfrog]

Its not a turn off if you're a hot person.

[Anonymous]

Awkward, no, weird, yes

[isthatarose]

What's the difference?

[Opinion Owner]

You'll find out

[isthatarose]

Why are you being so elusive? On a question asking forum!

[Opinion Owner]

What's with your profile picture, on a question forum

[isthatarose]

I guess I just found out the difference. Thanks anoymous. Thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah