Girls, is self-confidence ever a turn-off?

[Anonymous]

I'm a very confident guy. I'm proud of who I am and don't apologize for it. I work hard in the gym and love my body, even the parts that are less than perfect. I don't maintain a six-pack and I only have an average-sized dick, but I think it's awesome and worthy of any girl. I truly love life!

The only problem is, I've met several girls over the past year who started out being into me but then faded out pretty quickly. One of them was a friend of one of my female friends, and she told my friend that I seemed too high on myself. I don't consider myself to be overly self-involved at all. I feel like I'm just a confident guy. Is it possible to be so self-confident that it turns girls off?

Updates

+1 y

I guess I just don't know where the line is between confidence and cockiness.

Updates

+1 y

Do you think that unconfident girls maybe aren't attracted to confident guys?

[Michamabelle]

Having confident is a turn on and pretty attractive but not being cocky or having like a huge ego or think that you're better then anybody. Some girls like when a guy is confident but doesn't show it all the time.
and as for you question about unconfident girls not being attracted to confident guys, i'm not 100% sure but unconfident girls might find confident guys a bit intimidating so they will feel inferior to them or they will be very shy around them (but that's my opinion and point of view)

[HuckyHucky]

Only if it crosses the line into haughtiness. I know a guy who struts around like a rooster all the time with an "I know you want this" attitude, and it's gross to me, 100% turn-off.

You can have high self-esteem AND be humble. That's the best combo.

[Asker]

My feeling about myself isn't so much "I know you want this," but rather "I'm very proud of who I am."

[HuckyHucky]

Yeah that sounds confident, not cocky. And confidence is very good.

[spuitkaas]

I love confidence, but till a certain level. I hate cocky guys. Maybe you were a little bit above the turning point and some girls are sensitive for that.

[Asker]

What's the turning point for you, i. e. at what point does a guy go from being confident to cocky?

[spuitkaas]

If he starts talking about himself and his accomplishments (if it's really often).
But it's good if you're just confident, because it makes you more stable.

[Asker]

Ok, that makes sense. I'm not boastful, just happy to be me. Confidence is all about stability because when you have strong self-belief, nothing really throws you off your stride.

[spuitkaas]

Yeah I understand that. I mean I have my insecurities, but I'm overall quite confident.
Sometimes people who are perfectly confident can be a little boring to a person, but by asking this question it meand that you're not that kind of person.
Maybe the girls you dated weren't confident and maybe you felt different to them. Not sure though.

[char_char]

If it's over the top and comes across as cocky or condescending then yes. You asked about the line. Being clear and assertive (confident) can be super sexy. What ISN'T sexy is sitting down for dinner with a guy who talks about his accomplishments and himself constantly in a way that comes across as condescending or over the top.

[Asker]

I don't do that because I know that blathering about yourself is NOT a way to build chemistry with a girl. Bragging is a chemistry killer, mostly.

[char_char]

Then you are probably good. Confidence isn't about what you say as much as how you carry yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a very confident girl so I think a really confident guy would scare me away a little? But it also might help me accept myself more. Depends on the person I guess.

[Asker]

that's a very good point, and one I considered when I was trying to figure out what went wrong.

[donttrytofindme]

Confidence will always be sexy. That's what attracted me to my boyfriend. He seemed high on himself, and I loved him for it. Psychological studies show that men are most attracted to women when they are smiling, and least attracted to them when they look proud. However, women are least attracted to men when they are smiling, and most attracted to them when they look proud. If girls are turned off I think it is due to an unrelated issue.

[broadwaybrunette]

I have the exact same problem. I am actress, I'm talented and I know it, so that can come across as me being full of myself when I am really just confident in my abilities. So I totally get you. And this happens for girls a lot too. BUT being confident/ being comfterable in your own skin is not only important for yourself but, in my opinion, is also a turn on. Be comfterable being yourself and I promise the right person will love it.

[Lilyloves]

Ok so you seem a little bit cocky, but that's ok because some girls need That in a guy. As for the girl, all you can do is wait, and then charm her with your 'good looks' and hopefully good personality
Just remember don't be too cocky, trust me no girl likes that. So In Moderation I guess

[BraidsGirl]

Nope. Maybe girls fade away because your confidence is overpowering to them and they aren't used to it

Loving yourself is not a bad thing, being arrogant about it is though (I'm not saying you're arrogant)

[NewNaughtiness]

When self confident becomes cocky and arrogant it can be a turn off for some girls, but if you find a girl who is comfortable in her own skin and can throw things back at you then you should be fine, just watch how much you express your self love

[inlovewithyou2014]

Nope. I like a self confident guy, and I'm an introvert, the very best thing he does is treats me awesome compared to others, and looks at me like I'm the prettiest thing he's ever seen when I walk into a room where he's at.

[heywhisper]

It's great to like yourself but if you are putting yourself before her then that may be where a girl loses interest.