Why do girls always tell guys "don't get too big" when they find out we lift weights?

[Anonymous]

I don't get how girls want guys to be in shape and fit, but the minute they find out we lift weights, they feel the need to chide us not to get too big like a bodybuilder. I love having muscle, and I won't back off of my goals for anyone. Muscle makes guys feel strong and totally confident, which are both good things last I checked. The thing is, girls love muscle too, even though they act like it puts them off somehow. What gives? Is it that girls are somewhat embarrassed to admit just how much they're into guys' bodies?

[Kelser31]

I don't think they really mean too big, but just watch it in there. Like giant neck muscles are gross. And there is a difference between a guy who lifts regularly and body builders. Both my cousin and her boyfriend are bodybuilders and they look pretty gross tbh. They are huge and veiny. But all the guys I hang out with lift regularly and none of them look huge and gross. Some are pretty buff , but still look nothing like bodybuilders.

[Asker]

I'm more in the buff realm, certainly not like a roided pro bodybuilder, though.

[Kelser31]

Then that is totally cool. I know how the weight lifting stuff works cuz of my cousin and her boyfriend, but not all girls probably do. So they probably think that it is possible you could look like one of those pro body builders if you kept lifting. That is probably the only reason a girl would say that. Either that or that is just not the type of guy she is into.

[ForTheRide]

Body builders have very little fat on them, that's what allows there muscles to be extra defined, which a lot of people don't like. You have to remember though, that a lot of body builders take steroids. My mum was 5th in the state for body building around her 20s and she didn't look bulky. I think she looks better with more body fat in general though.

[aamy811]

Too much muscle does put me off.
images.profileengine.com/.../...builders.are.gross
But I know what you mean. I tell people I lift and I get so many women and men saying "oh your going to want to stop that or you'll get bulky". I won't and Who cares if I do as long as I like it.

[Asker]

Yeah, that guy's an obvious steroid user. I don't look anything like that and never will. I think that's what girls imagine when they think of a guy lifting weights.

[ForTheRide]

Just find a lady that likes what you have to offer. Which is muscle since you like having muscle! I personally do like muscles, but I have a borderline where it becomes less attractive. Not going to not date someone because they are super dooper fit and healthy though.

[-Zoe-]

For me, too big is too much.
I like a guy who builds and uses his big muscle for "real work/job" like lifting heavy in construction or other manly job (which turns me on), and not just lifting weights for "feeling" of confidence or strong by doing in the gym or showing off in public that they're "healthy" (turns me off).

[JulyAndrews]

What most people (I'm including men as well) don't like is to take it so far you become a gorilla. And by that I mean work out so much your biceps and triceps get so big you can't keep your arms (in a relaxed position) straight next to your body. An athletic body type is the most attractive in my opinion. Professional swimmers and gymnasts have the best bodies in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Well, men say the exact same thing to women who lift, so I guess it's just one gender imposing their ideals of a desirable body onto the other gender. People should just have whatever body their comfortable with, never mind what other people think is attractive.

[Asker]

I *never* say that to women who lift. Muscle is sexy as fuck on girls.

[Anonymous]

It's to show that we don't want you getting too big.
This is perfect...
qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-855d2146263bde2f2238974fe99f1f67

[Asker]

I'm bigger than that, and I don't see any reason not to be. I don't use any PEDs, so I'm not damaging my health with it.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, some girl is bound to like that. We are just expressing our preference. If that's not what you want though, then don't listen to us.

[Asker]

No, I really appreciate your input, I just don't see why so many girls feel like anything bigger than this guy is gross. It's almost the same as a guy saying that any girl with boobs bigger than C-cups are gross.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I just like a more natural look; too little or too much is a turn off. Plus, this seems like someone that works out, but isn't obsessed with it. While girls can't really control their breast size.

[Asker]

I admit that I am a bit obsessed, probably because I grew up fat. I guess I'm resigned to the (apparently) small subset of girls who's into guys with more than a little muscle.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, obsession is not good, so you might want to try and handle that. Not for the girls, but for yourself.

[Asker]

Obsession is good to a point, because without it, I'd still be 280 lbs, miserable and fat. Girls certainly weren't into me then.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure, but you're not like that anymore, so there's no reason to continue being obsessed. Just keep it in moderation.

[Asker]

You don't know what it's like to be a fat guy. It's a life of invisibility and denigration that I won't go back to. Obsessed and muscular is better than moderate and fat.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not saying you should be moderate and fat. I'm saying you should find a balance, but it is your choice.

[Asker]

I understand now how subcultures form, because there are issues that can only be understood by those who've experienced them. Being fat sucks, and moderation leads to being fat, which is why so many people in America are overweight.

[Opinion Owner]

No it doesn't. This mostly happens in America. I have always had normal weight and so does almost every single person where I used to live.

[Asker]

No, it has nothing to do with America, it has to do with lack of effort. A person canbe a normal weight and still be fat. The term for it is 'skinny-fat.'

[Opinion Owner]

I know it has nothing to do with America, I didn't mention anything about that.

I know that too, which is why I'm saying you should still work out, just keep it in moderation.

[Shrugs83]

I'm not acting like muscles put me off. They actually do. Everyone is different, but by no means are you to base your decisions on what you think others want for you. You like muscles, so muscle on.

[throwit]

The super big body builders are repulsive.
But if your girlfriend is seeing you get bigger then she won't notice the change since it'll be happening gradually.
We just don't want you to look like a roided out monster.

[BraidsGirl]

Because guys who look like the Hulk are kinda scary. It's okay to have muscles just not too much muscle that it looks like if you tried to hug me, I would need to go to the ER...

[crystalt70]

No. We really don't like guys that have too much muscle. It's not attractive, especially when he has a bunch of veins poking out.

[JulyAndrews]

Speak for yourself. Popping veins are a sign of good vascular health. And healthy is always attractive in my book. Next to that it comes very fast.. anyone who has ever worked out seriously knows that. My vains pop to.. I work out regularly. So don't pretend all women think the same as you.

[crystalt70]

@JulyAndrews excuse me, but do you see the words "all women" in my post? No. I am speaking for myself. I also inculded the women (in one sentence) that HE is referring to when he says that women tell him not to get too big. The vein part of my response is MY opinion. It looks nasty to me. You read way too much into my response and added words in my mouth.

[emerald77]

There is such a thing as too much...