I found condoms in his car..is he cheating?

[Anonymous]

Here is goes...my boyfriend of 1.5 years and I have been fighting a lot lately. To the point where I just posted another question a couple a days ago.

I have problems trusting guys. I just do. My boyfriend has never cheated on me, but he has cheated on is past girlfriends. He is the very smooth type. (Which attracts me to him)

I've been on birth control for 5 months. (there was one point I was off of it for a week or so so we used protection) About a month ago, my boyfriend got a new car. He travels for work and I'm always snooping and making accusations...but it just so happens that 2 nights ago he was showing me this compartment in his car and BOOM there were condoms. He claimed he didn't even remember putting them there...and he claimed they must have been in the bag his brother let him borrow and he just put them in there.

He got really defensive because it kinda was the icing on the cake. I was attacking him a couple days earlier because he went to hangout with this girl he new from high school for like an hour and didn't tell me in advance. Yes, I'm kinda controlling, but I have this gut feeling he is up to no good sometimes.

Anyhow, today I told him his little story about how the condoms got there doesn't make sense. His brother gave him that bag months ago when he had his old car. He now is pretty calm about it and is just sort like "look...I think I just grabbed a bag that I had in my old car and stuffed them in my new car. I really don't even remember" He even told me he would take a polygraph test.

Doesn't that sound sketchy? I know I should learn to trust him, because I know he loves me and treats me right, but I don't feel like I'm ever going to get past this. Is this sketchy? Please help! Should we break up? I believe trust is earned...and I feel like we were just getting there...now this!

[greeneyedgal]

This is NOT a good sign. Based on what you wrote, his explanation and his past behavior of cheating he knowingly put them there and lied. His "bag" story is a bunch of hogwash because if it doesn't make sense then it's nonsense. He might not have used them YET, but why else have them since he is involved? Furthermore, you're already on because so the condoms aren't needed unless there is someone else involved.

Was he a "reformed" cheater once he started dating you? I find this hard to believe given the course of events.

I cannot tell you what to do. What I can tell you is that if your intuition tells you something listen because 99.9% of the time it's correct. In addition, I have been cheated on in the past and once a cheater, always a cheater in my experience.

I wish you luck in your decision.

[Anonymous]

OMG girl I went through the same situation a while back! My boyfriend and I have been currently together for a year and 7 mon. Well back in June we went out and I found condoms in the back seat of the passanger seat! I would MAYBE have thought it was for US to use but get this... We don't even have sex! I confronted him a week after and he said "what condoms?" He started looking for them everywhere! I showed him where I had found them AND they weren't there anymore! He claimed he didn't know where they came from. Girl, I feel just like you do. I still have that in the back of my mind, thinking that maybe he lied and was actually cheating on me. Hopefully, soon one day the truth will come out for the both of us.

[msbossy]

That does sound weird... Sorry sweetie tell him you found her number and you called and asked her if they had sex and she said yes I know it sound crazy but you can tell the truth by his expression on his face make it believable.

[Jonny_]

Its definately sketchy, a lot of people say, I'd take a lie detector, because most people just accept the idea that they are willing to take one... Its an easy way to end a conversation like that. Although I do have condoms about the place that just never used, my current girlfriend isn't interested in sex, which I'm fine with, but if she found condoms in my wallet that would look bad, no? Maybe just ask his brother about it if possible to confirm it?

[Dela1111]

He is without a doubt cheating on you. Why would you trust a guy who has cheated on gf's in the past?

[b_lova]

As a guy who has done some sketchy things in past relationships I can honestly tell you he has an artbook and some colored pencils working full speed. I don't know the count on the condom pack so we can't say that he did cheat, but he definitely thought about it.

Also, he may treat you right and may love you, but that won't stop a smooth talker from using a condom on an old friend who happens to be a girl should the opportunity arise

Other than that, it sounds to me like you are in a toxic relationship. If you are going to date smooth talkers then you just have to accept that they will flirt and define boundaries so you can build trust, then you can call them out when they cross your boundaries rather than nagging about condoms in a car. FWIIW, visiting a female without your prior knowledge that is a friend or your attendance should be in that boundary discussion. As a smooth talking male that has gotten me into trouble more than once. All I can say is at least he took condoms. :)

[BoopBoopBeep]

He probably makes balloon animals out of them for orphans. Are you daft? Yes he's cheating on you, as he should, because in addition to "attacking him" and being "kinda controlling" you are always snooping and making accusations. If I'm going to get blamed for it why shouldn't I? Do the time, might as well do the crime so I can say I earned it.

Do both of you a favor and break up.

[chicken_nugget24]

Question is over a year old 😂

[BoopBoopBeep]

@chicken_nugget24 that crazy! it was in my feed! My bad. Hope you found a real man.

[chicken_nugget24]

Lol not me

[BoopBoopBeep]

@chicken_nugget24 Sorry to hear it. Good luck.

[WhitneySnow]

It bothers me that he cheated on his past girlfriends. Yeah guys can change, but they usually don’t.

[chicken_nugget24]

Question is over a year old lol

[WhitneySnow]

@chicken_nugget24 damn! Wonder how it got in my feed then

[chicken_nugget24]

Gag seems to be doing this a lot

[WhitneySnow]

@chicken_nugget24 weird. But thanks. I didn’t even notice lol.

[mandyfire98]

That's sketchy for sure. Something isn't adding up. It doesn't look good honestly.

[chicken_nugget24]

Question is over a year old 😂

[mandyfire98]

Yeah it popped up in the normal feed for some reason. I didn't check the date.

[chicken_nugget24]

Haha

[Anonymous]

I used to be a scumbag in high school and always cheated on my high school girlfriend in my car.. hence always the need for condoms in my car.. I'm sorry, but I'd say yes.

[worldscolide]

The one making the false accusations is usually doing it to cover up their own cheating. I can't say for sure, but signs point to him cheating.

[jeffend888]

You're in your late 30s, maybe early 40s. If you can't figure this one out by now, then you're beyond help.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sounds like you need to bitch less and be a better girlfriend. Your boyfriend is clearly tired of you.

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't know why women don't realize you can't nag and bitch your way to "love".

[chicken_nugget24]

Question is over a year old 🤣

[chicken_nugget24]

Did you ever find out lol

[t91180]

Follow your gut. It sounds pretty sketchy to me.

[BigDog1989]

Maybe?

[chicken_nugget24]

The question is over a year old 😂

[BigDog1989]

@chicken_nugget24 And?

[chicken_nugget24]

They probably broke up lol

[BigDog1989]

@chicken_nugget24 It'd be interesting to see

[Philyouup]

yeah. i think so