If a girl is playing hard to get, should I ignore her messages until she stops?

[mangaka92]

I really REALLY hate the "playing hard to get" game. So much so, that I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than play it. It's extremely immature and I can't find why anyone would think it's enjoyable. However, I don't know how to make it stop. I've been chatting with a girl that I'm kind of interested in, but she won't quit playing hard to get. Should I ignore her until she stops and realizes that I'm not interested in those kinds of games?

Ignore her and she should get the hint

Don't ignore her; she'll stop talking to you entirely

[sjoes006]

Not sure what exaction she is taking leading you to assume hard to get but if she is being evasive your texts just give it a break. She may be seeing someone. She may be waiting for you to ask her out. Not enough detail here to really know. But maybe lay off for a while and see if she initiates contact.

If she is responding to your messages just enough to keep you around but being noncommittal it could mean she is seeing someone but wants to keep you lined up in case it doesn't work out. I've never done this as I don't think it is fair to the person I'm dating, I give them my complete attention but I some who do.

[mangaka92]

Some of the stuff that she's doing is just taking weeks (sometimes months) to reply to messages. I don't mind if a girl takes a while. However, I've never seen that kind of behavior before. Especially when she's writing things like "... I just found the other guys uninteresting. I want a different guy. Like you. ^_^ Hahaha maybe?" and she writes stuff like that all the time.

Hmm, maybe. That's a good point. Do you know of a good way to tell if she might just be keeping me as backup other than because of how long she takes to write back?

[sjoes006]

Hmmm well if she has done this now in between multiple guys then she is def using you as a filler. If she wanted a different guy 'like you' (you) she'd give a relationship with you a real go not just pop up between the wrong guys.

[mangaka92]

Well, she mentioned that things like whenever she goes places, guys keep trying to give her their number, add her on Facebook, and buy her stuff, but she finds them all uninteresting. So, I don't know what to make of that.

[sjoes006]

It really doesn't sound like it's going anywhere. Go meet someone else and if she likes you she'll get her act together.

If you don't then SHE will meet someone and leave you in the dust with all that wasted time.

[mangaka92]

Hmm, I see.
Haha, if only I could. But, that's a different topic, entirely.
Thanks a lot for your help! I appreciate it. :)

[mangaka92]

I've asked her about why she takes so long, before, and her response has been because she wants to take time to make sure she is able to carefully read through what I've written and respond in the best way she can. We write REALLY long messages. Both of us. A lot of times, it's actually her making them longer. So, that was her reason for taking so long. That, and she claims she's busy a lot. She does a lot of community work and also has a job teaching kids and other things like that.

[BetterThanAverage]

If she's playing hard to get, then, if you stop responding, you can never tell what she will think. She could think you're taking a "two can play at that game" approach or that you're not interested or any number of things. I think that you should tell her how you feel about her playing hard to get. If you tell her what you think, she will probably stop.

[Poppykate]

Just tell her straight you are interested in her, but if she wants to play games, it's game over for you! She will find it so sexy for a man to take control!

[mangaka92]

The only reason I haven't confessed myself and said that asked if we could date is because we live a ways apart. We're planning on making a trip to meet up, but I'd rather ask her to date me after we've already met each other. Do you think it's still a good idea to confess my feelings if I don't know if we'd even end up dating when we meet each other? That's more of what I'm concerned about.

[Poppykate]

I don't see why not! Explain how you feel, explain the distance and leave it up to her. It will all work out.

[mangaka92]

I'd just be worried it would make things more complicated. I've already lost two girlfriends because of long distance and was concerned that, if I said anything about how I really feel, she'll expect that we're together, from that moment on, and then she'll end up leaving me, as well. But, if I made sure to meet her, first, then the distance might not be so bad. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to avoid my relationships ending up like they always have...

[Poppykate]

Well, arrange to meet up soon. Don't leave it too long. Great girls don't stay on the market forever. if she has confessed her feelings, than it is only right that you do the same. Don't leave her hanging.

[mangaka92]

Alright, will do. Thanks a lot for the advice! I appreciate it. :)

[Anonymous]

I voted ignore her, but you should do so without hopes to win her over.

If you're ignoring her to get to her, then you are playing games too.

Just walk away and find someone that doesn't play with your heart.

Trust me, it feels much better to like someone that you know feels the same way. If she's playing games now, she's unlikely to stop tomorrow, or even months from now. She'll just break your heart, then blame you for pursuing her because "you knew what you were getting into"

[AleDeEurope]

Just ignore her and move on, go look for another girl. If this girl really wanted you she'd stop playing games, games are stupid.

[Anonymous]

Hard to get should equal = get the fuck out of my life.

Don't play along. Too many other women to deal with a girl who is being a nonsensical, game playing, status-jockeying cunt.

[HowzItGoing]

Well, if you ignore her then you're also playing hard to get

[jacquesvol]

Just move on.