Why do hot girls date average looking guys?

[Anonymous]

I'm seeing this pairing more and more often. What is going on? I'm not jealous or anything just in disbelief since I'm below average to average and it's happened to me also. Girls please explain your brains to me.

Updates

+1 y

I dont believe all these guys saying its money... im poor and it still happened to me...

[TheBasil]

What i think:

1. Because if that guy have a great personality then his looks doesn't matter much, a great partner doesn't need to look like Leonardo Dicaprio... When we get older our looks will fade anyway and in the end personality will win.

2. Emotional security. I mean if you date a less handsome person. There is less chance that person cheats on you because he/ she doesn't have that many which throws themselves at her/him then a gorgeous person does. For many women faithfulness is extremely important so for some it is better to choose a less good looking person who can still be a great partner..

3. Money security. For some women they want to feel secure, have enough money to live and they might have a big dept. Therefore they want a man enough money, if you travel to Thailand/ philippines/ Africa etc. to find a girl, then a lot of them there are desperate for money to take care of themselves and their family. They are poor, they need money so they could pretty much date anyone.

And then of course have some women who just want to sleep around, party and have fun. So they have no problem dating ugly guys if they have money enough. They are just bitches and narcissist.

This is my opinion. I am a woman and have both boobs and vagina so i know the female gender better then the males here claim they know lol

I could care less about looks if only i had chemistry with that person and he was faithful. For me it is very important to not be betrayed and i am sure other girls somewhere feel the same way..

Very few of us are money hungry bitches by the way. But we women are emotional creature, we need chemistry and have to feel comfortable with that person.

People can fall in love with someones charm and not looks, i wish more people believed this. I mean we all turn ugly in the end so why is it so wrong to care about personality? lol

[Anonymous]

I don't see this all that often, honestly. "Hot" vs "average" are kind of subjective.

Most people have a few select physical and personality traits that really attract them, so a partner with those traits is hotter to them than someone who may be more objectively attractive (through measurable things like symmetry, body measurements, etc).

For instance, a guy who is really excited by busty redheads may accept a girl with these specific turnons even if she's chubbier than he would pick from a catalog. A girl who is crazy about beautiful eyes may be more attracted guy with odd teeth but great lashes. Etc.

[LittleAnnabelle]

No matter how hot of a girl you are, after you've dated a bunch of jerks you know exactly what you are looking for in a guy. Once you get tired of douche bags appearance is no longer your main concern and you want someone who is just a great guy. Once we realize looks aren't everything we start to look for the guy that makes us happy, laugh, feel pretty, and has an admirals personality. If your that type of guy for whoever your dating right now then no wonder. The fact that you think that she's just soooooo hot says so much. Also stop thinking of yourself as average. Good Luck!

[kaylaS91]

Because hot girls don't see the appeal of dating a guy just for his being more attractive than the average bloke. They know first hand that there are a lot of things other than appearance that are required to make a relationship work. Which is often times lost on guys who are also hot. Hence they'll date more of the average-joe type. Guys who don't feel entitled to anything by simply having been born into winning the genetic lottery.

[the_rake]

That's fine as long as they're not making the assumption that the average joes must be working hard on themselves to make up personality wise. A similar misconception that physically attractive men may suffer from is the idea that they're all brawn/good looks but empty in side/no brain.

I think that's why you get a lot of confused good looking guys complaining about their lack of luck.

[the_rake]

e. g. Timber, girls don't have a gauge on the guy's personality just from his photos so that's generally their assumption.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
You get guys who are both average-looking, as well as attractive, complaning that they 'never get girls' for one reason or another.
A lot of girls will at one point or another, date a 'hunk' only to get treated like complete shit by him. Hence they start looking for their next boyfriend in a different crowd, to leave the first behind. So comes the 'average joe' to save the day. A lot of those more 'run of the mill'-type guys will be so nice, they'll become a 'nice guy'. Leaving them being friend-zoned eventually.

Luck doesn't come into play that much. It's just what some will blame their misgivings on.

[the_rake]

I think women are just generally quite selective and asexual.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
yeah perhaps we're more selective, able to be more picky with who we sleep with than guys. Why on earth would we use that to just get the most-used dick? We're definitely not asexual.
You seem to be basing most of your arguments off of articles written by bitter men or something, not experience with actual women. It sounds like you view women as not much more than a place for a man to stick his dick.

[the_rake]

Hello,

Most of my opinion comes from theory and experience. Also, women are entitled to their standards, so I'm not bitter. Just saying things the way they are (women are mostly asexual and hypergamous).

e. g. I wrote a question here that highlights the hypergamous nature of women, and mostly their mating strategy is asexual because they only tend to prefer men of high status or monetary wealth to reproduce with. See evidence below:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1739712-are-women-hypergamous

In short, women just don't enjoy sex as much as men. If this wasn't true then they would be willing to engage in casual sex as frequently as men are.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
In short, women just don't enjoy sex as much as men. If this wasn't true then they would be willing to engage in casual sex as frequently as men are.

So fucking simple. So many things wrong with that statement. I guess in your world, slut-shaming doesn't exist. Perhaps your life goal is to reach a record amount of pussy,
That's cool. I prefer to get a guy who's got good dick in addition to a good emotional connection but hey, to each their own.

[the_rake]

That's true, slut-shaming is mostly a rhetorical device used by feminists with quite a bit of strategic importance. I posted a question about this exact topic earlier:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1738362-does-slut-shaming-really-exist

I'm surprised nobody has pointed out the hypocrisy of 'slut-shaming' before. Most people just take it's existence as a given.

As for women being (mostly) asexual, yes it's true. It's like the difference between cats and dogs eating their food: Cats prefer to nibble and walk away, then come back (they only really eat for survival purposes). Dogs are happy to just eat their food in one serving because they have a more hearty appetite. Cats also tend to be much more selective about what you feed them.

However when it comes to women and sex, women (in particular feminist women) prefer to make out as if they appreciate sex more than the other gender. This misconception has contributed to many social ills, including the social justification of female hypergamy and the widespread emasculation of men.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
How can you say that either gender wants sex more than the other, having only ever experienced one side of it though?

[the_rake]

Observation. EVERYTHING I write is based on observation, since you, I and everyone else will only experience a small segment of the opposite gender's population (or both genders depending on yourself).

It's obvious. Look at the tinder study I posted earlier: 240 women (out of 300 women) slept with 50 men (out of 300 men) on tinder. Since this is the majority of women, a significant portion will have been below average attractiveness, compared to 50/300 men, consisting of a relatively small and elite segment of the male population.

Why do men mostly approach women and not the other way round? Because by nature men are initiators, and women are selectors. Men are far more highly invested in sexual reproduction.

All of this supports the 20% theory (that 20% of men - the alpha males - sleep with 80% of women). Furthermore, it also confirms my personal experience and what I have observed of others, when it comes to intrasexual interaction.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
Really? Studies based on Tinder? Horrible study in my opinion. Where the sample and population are 99% composed of men and women who are thirsty af and looking for the dirty.
This is why statistics should always be taken with a grain of salt.

[the_rake]

I find it amusing how you prefer to nitpick small points and ignore the rest.

Yes 99% of sex hungry men and women (assuming Tinder does not have a legitimate dating function) and regardless only a very small, selective portion of the male population are successful. This is evidence enough that women selectively favour polygynous hypergamy.

But if you want more proof, there was also a study (1960s?) that proved majority of women responded negatively to casual sex requests compared to the majority of men. I can dig it up if you insist.

If you haven't already, look at some of the other links provided. These show how women show interest in wealthy men (the gold digger prank) besides video evidence of how women respond differently to sexualised talk from alpha males compared to beta males (video from real social dynamics).

All of this is evidence enough but it is not rocket science and I don't need evidence. Simple observation proves it: women are mostly asexual and favour hypergamy.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
I'm not going to waste time looking at links/studies that supposedly support your point that women are sexual and favour hypergamy. I know fully well that I'm anything but asexual, quite the opposite, and completely dick-whipped by just one.
Nice try, though.

[the_rake]

Found the study:

https://www.elainehatfield.com/79.pdf

' the study had a male and female participant go up to random members of the opposite sex and ask “Would you like to go out tonight?”, “Would you like to go back to my apartment?”, and “Would you like to go to bed with me?” Men and women were equally likely – 50% – to go on a date, but when it came to sex, the results weren’t terribly surprising;upwards of 75% of men said yes to sex while absolutely 0 women agreed that yes, they would like to go to bed with a total stranger who propositioned them in the middle of the day on a college campus.'

[the_rake]

just face it: I'm right

:-)

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
upwards of 75% of men said yes to sex while absolutely 0 women agreed that yes, they would like to go to bed with a total stranger who propositioned them in the middle of the day on a college campus.'

Isn't that countering one of the points you made in your desperation to be 'right'? Where you claimed that the top priority when a woman decides to have sex with someone is how many others girls they've stuck it in before?

[the_rake]

You can speak for yourself you can't speak for an entire gender.

[kaylaS91]

.. which is exactly what you're trying to do. To tell me, a girl, what the majority of other girls want. Even though you have a dick.

[the_rake]

that's just another author's take on the study. I don't agree with that author's criticisms of the study: I copied and pasted out of laziness since it seems I happen to be doing most of the work here getting studies and what not.

[the_rake]

I don't really think it's in women's interests to admit the opposite for reasons I highlighted on a different question (see the question about slut-shaming).

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
mhmmm... okay. Because I really care what people in an online forum who don't know me in real life think of me.

[the_rake]

More video confirmation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmP1ier3R30

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxyySRgrYsU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JJFBtHcBnM

[the_rake]

'.. which is exactly what you're trying to do. To tell me, a girl, what the majority of other girls want. Even though you have a dick. '

nobody knows anything outside their own perspective - who knows the earth could be flat. that's the whole point of empirical observation, to find things out about the world around you through observation and experience.

for most men, these things, combined with their gut instinct tells them that women are mostly asexual and favour hypergamous polygyny.

[the_rake]

'"upwards of 75% of men said yes to sex while absolutely 0 women agreed that yes, they would like to go to bed with a total stranger who propositioned them in the middle of the day on a college campus."

Isn't that countering one of the points you made in your desperation to be 'right'? Where you claimed that the top priority when a woman decides to have sex with someone is how many others girls they've stuck it in before? '

also you happen to be interpreting this falsely. probably part of the REASON they do not sleep with these men is because as strangers, they have little idea of their social status (e. g. their wealth, position in society, abundance of women / attractiveness to other women, etc., etc.).

[the_rake]

' mhmmm... okay. Because I really care what people in an online forum who don't know me in real life think of me. '

LOL.

I have absolutely no opinion of you whatsoever. to me this is just a factual discussion, partially for my own entertainment, partially to exercise my analytical facilities. I have no interest in you and no opinion of you as a person whatsoever.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
you're making zero sense now. Believe whatever you want, enjoy life in your little fantasy world. :)

[the_rake]

so many ad hominems and false statements / assumptions:

'which is exactly what you're trying to do. To tell me, a girl, what the majority of other girls want. Even though you have a dick.'

'So fucking simple. So many things wrong with that statement. I guess in your world, slut-shaming doesn't exist. Perhaps your life goal is to reach a record amount of pussy,'

' mhmmm... okay. Because I really care what people in an online forum who don't know me in real life think of me. '

'Why on earth would we use that to just get the most-used dick?'

'I prefer to get a guy who's got good dick '

' I know fully well that I'm anything but asexual, quite the opposite, and completely dick-whipped by just one'

I should be the one whinging about personal insults not you. LOL.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
ugh stfu. Are you sure you're 24? You're more irritating than a 3 year old.

[the_rake]

again:

theory, research, empirical observations and personal experience =/= living in a fantasy world

also, add that statement to my list of ad homs.

[the_rake]

I think you're just mad that you can't think of any better ripostes.

I'll just have to assume that this marks an end to any potential rational discourse and call it a day.

[kaylaS91]

@the_rake
my god, you're impossible. If I'm mad, it's just that I spent so much time trying to reason with a lunatic.

[the_rake]

memecrunch.com/meme/1G4I0/you-mad-tho/image.png

filler

[the_rake]

It's fine and all that women will prefer a guy for his intrinsic qualities. what is annoying though is when she assumes a guy is shallow just because he's good looking or that some guy must have worked really hard on his personality to compensate for his lack of good looks.

you see this on tinder: all the good looking guys are rejected but the average joes are given a chance.

"oh he doesn't have looks... he MUST be good relationship material"

some women's dating logic beggers belief

[aficionado]

These 'average looking' guys have something else to compensate for their lack of looks. Usually it's money, and occasionally it's their personality.

Also, looks are subjective anyway, so what you consider 'average', may be 'good looking' for those girls.

[insertusername_here]

Because most girls don't judge guys by appearances, which I know from experience that guys generally find surprising. Eg. A few months ago I was going out with a guy that wasn't exactly the best looking but he had an amazing personality. Another guy I'm good friends with kept on asking why I would want to go out with someone who I didn't like for looks. I'm honestly not very good looking at all but nonetheless most girls go out with guys whose personalities they like.

[Autumn26]

Personality over looks. I don't think of myself as really hot or anything but while I was dating my ex people kept asking me why I was dating him and said I could do better, but the thing was, I didn't want to do better as I liked him for who he was, not his looks... He was average looking by the way :)

[WhatTheHellAmy]

Because hot people like to look like the hot one in a relationship lol

Or... Hot people rarely approach other hot people because they're too nice to approach

Or... Average looking people have more guts lol

Or... Hot girls rarely get approach because people will assume they are already in a relationship so then they take anything that comes to them

[MixedTwit]

Well for me I don't really care Bout looks, it's more about personality honestly. Like i find the most attractive thing is a sense of humor. If a guy can make me laugh, he's already in hahah. Iv dated a lot of average, below average guys, I just felt like I didn't deserve higher standards, but I'm tryn to higher mine but if I meet a guy who isn't the best looking, treats me great, is so sweet and funny and just has a stellar personality them fuck looks, that's perfect!

[Ihav2fart]

There are many reasons...
Sometimes its money
Sometimes its fame
Sometimes he's just different and she likes how unique the guy is.
Sometimes they both just click
Sometimes that average looking guy might look like an attractive guy in her eyes.
or
He could just have a big dick that she needs in her life.

We'll never know

[FriendzonedBoy]

I see ita lot and I understood why. Hot girls get too much attention and guys act stupid whith them. When a simple nice/friendly guy approach them looking at them as just another girl, they just love it.

Better to be a nice person than a good looking guy.

[Anonymous]

Its either
1. She gets treated like a queen and loves the way she get treated
2. She just doesn't want risking losing a good looking guy
3. She just uses him to get what she wants from #1
Not by any meand trying to say this is why but thats my opinion on it:)

[Anonymous]

Because girls don't stay and love for a guy's looks alone, it helps in the start only. Think about this, girls like to read. They want something that interests them not much of the cover, but the content. Bring more content in your life... things girls will be interested, and like books... keep it interesting to the end. I hate to say this but... think like a girl. Use it. And make you her favorite book for her lifetime.

[What_do_i_do]

not sure who downvoted you, great answer

[chriss]

i disagree everyone has a different taste. the guys that you find that are average looking might be good looking for those females. one can find a person attractive and the other one doesn't. it really depends on the person

[Mustachekitteh]

Same reason why some hot guys date average looking girls.

She must think your pretty attractive to her and have an awesome personality. Normally that's the reason to be with them.

[springocelot]

it's because girls don't value looks as much in the opposite compared to the way guys do

[Asker]

hmmm I dont know if I agree with that

[DeltsBrah]

Wrong Girls care about looks just as much as guys

[SarahsSummer]

Girls will go for outgoing, confident guys. So if there's a choice between really good looking and really outgoing/confident, I'll choose the latter.

[69camaro]

Caus not all females r shallow? Some dont care as much what you look like its more that they are attracted to who you are

[NerdInDenial]

These guys might have a lot of money, power, or status.

[silverfeline]

It's easier to get commitment from less attractive guys than really attractive guys.

[quietleah]

Maybe we are looking more for personality than looks

[ConsultantIsBack]

Maybe they are just with them for Debit card n Dick. Nomsayin?
Jk, that's bad to say. But maybe someone will Lol from it.

[PromiseIllBeNice]

I lol'd from that

[Homicidal_Queen]

Maybe some of them actually find the person they're with to be attractive due to their personality.

[mistysfun]

well it's because they approach you // r enjoyable and ask you out on a date

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their own taste.
What's hot to you could be average to someone else.