Do girls just friendzone guys who are always there for them?

Question

I'm so confused on what I need to do when talking to this girl.

She comes to me whenever she has problems but is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't want to just be her friend and I feel like she only comes to me because that's all she sees me as. She is really comfortable telling me her problems whether it's about family, friends, job, etc. I've only known her for around 2 months.
I've basically built a very platonic, non-sexual relationship with her but I want to change that.

How can I turn this around?
Should I slow down my communication with her?
Is it too late for me because all she sees me as is a friend?

I do flirt with her but I'm not really sure if she's getting it. I'm not very good at it.

SylviaBelle · Accepted Answer

The "friendzone" as we understand it is a myth. Communication is the key here.

First, understand that if she does only see you as a platonic friend, then you have to respect that. I'm not saying that you wouldn't, but it has become a huge problem where some men believe that if they are "good guys" they are somewhat entitled to be more than friends with that girl. That is obviously not true.

But also, if you're having feelings that are stronger than friendship, you should tell her. I would tell her in a way that shows her that you care about her and don't want to ruin your friendship but also that you have started to care about her in a new way as well. The best you can do is see how she responds.

Long story short, no, girls don't friendzone guys because they're there for them. They either feel a romantic connection or they don't, and sometimes they feel it and don't come forward about it for the same reasons you fear telling her that you have those feelings. If she has those feelings though, being a good platonic friend first can only help you have a better shot with her.

Just remember that she has the right to say no, no matter how good a friend you have been, and making her feel bad about that would be very traumatic for her.

Azara · Accepted Answer

o. its the opposite. she either feels sexual attraction towards you or she does not. but being a good friend is not going to somehow obstruct your chances with her,. it only helps if you're looking for a relationship and not just sex.

guys complain about being friend zoned when they befriended a woman they want sex with and not get sex bc she's being friends with them. if you actually want friend ship plus more than p[art of the work is done. if she's attracted to you then you're in. as compared to keeping your distance and trying to increase attraction by being a dick. that lands you in friends with benefits zone or nothing.

no one is going to want someone they dont trust. and if you guys did get together after being friends it probably will take less time to get physically active vb. she already. trusts. you. which. is. important. not. sex. death.

o anyhow keep being friends and ask her out. shell either be interested or she went,. but if she is considering her feelings and isn't sure and you tell her you like her it will increase her perception of you as a boyfriend.

lexythelou22 · Accepted Answer

I've accidentally friendzoned people before without even realizing it. If she tells you about her problems, bring up some of yours (not at the same time of course, that would seem like you were trying to take over the conversation) but try opening up to her as well. Slowly hint about your attraction. Say cute things, but try to make it hardly noticeable in a way she'll keep thinking about for awhile. Slip in hints. Make her seem like a majorly important part of your life. After awhile of this, gradually get less subtle. She may have started to develop mutual feelings without even realizing it. (This is not 100%, but it's as good as I could come up with)

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

I'm gonna stop you here and say ditch the "friend-zone" thought process.

The friend-zone is a pseudo-scientific idea created by PUAs (Pick-Up Artists) which basically goes like this:

- A woman can only hold a man in one of two zones. The "F*ck zone", and the "Friend-zone".
- A woman determines which zone a man is in within 1 minute of seeing him. (Time varies from PUA book to PUA book.
- For her to want to have sex with her, you must not be her friend. You must not appear as a friend. Otherwise she will only see you as a brother, and will never be capable of seeing you as sex material.

This isn't just bullshit, it is dangerous bullshit. It is one of the many things you hear from PUAs that try to convince guys they need to be "sexy jerks", rather than holding women to higher standards by not putting up with or settling for girls who want "sexy jerks".

For almost every reasonable girl I've known, their libido is something that develops and accumulates towards a guy over time. The best relationships and marriages start as friendships.

jordan90 · Accepted Answer

Message me, I have some tips for you.

Microdot · Answer

I've been in a similar situation before. The girl and I got on and spent a lot of time in classes together, I made her laugh etc but I don't think she found me physically attractive. I tried asking her out but she avoided the question. I guess I could have kept pressing it but I wasn't getting the right signals and looking back I'm glad I didn't.

I think generally when someone likes you they look for confirmation that you like them.. you don't usually have to make the flirting stupidly obvious.
I would say she just sees you as a friend - if you find this too hard to deal with I would say something like you are starting to have feelings for her. It doesn't have to be a big heavy I AM ASKING YOU OUT scenario. People in general just remember how someone makes them feel so if you're always having a good time together and it's always easy at least you have a shot. I would just see if she wants to go see the film with you and maybe get something to eat after?
How does she react when you tell her your problems? If she isn't that interested that's a big sign she's not into you.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow! Man the amount of things that these women have told you is amazing. Those are great advices. In fact, lots of them are true cause I've experienced that before.

My advice to you is keep it that way and flirt with her and show her that you care for her. It all feoends how fast you wanna take it. If you wanna start dating her now then tell her straight up. If you wanna take it slow then you should bring things up to her that will make her realize that you like her without you giving it away. Try something like " I've always been there for you what person does that for you? Only me" and things like that and you'll see that she will start to pick up on those things slowly. I had a similar situation i was friends with this girl that i met while i was dsting my ex. I jnew what type of guys she liked and i had 1 she liked from the type of guys she liked which was me being Spanish. Long story short. My relationship ended and we remained friends in fact we turned into best friends and one day after almost a year an a half of me flirting and me showing her that i cared about her and seeing how her relationship with guys wasn't working out and me giving her advice. She finally realized it and couldnt hold it anymore and she said it to me straight up. " i like you and ice liked you for a while and i had to tell you because i couldnt hold ot anymore " and we ended up dating. Unfortunately it didn't work out but yea man it all depends how bad you want to be with her because i guarantee you that if you take long then some other guy is gonna come and swipe her off the grounf and your gonna be there hanging. Good luck!

Grace_Rdz · Answer

Wow, this reminds me of Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved" lyrics:
"He was always there to help her, she always belong to someone else"
As long as she doesn't have a boyfriend or loves somebody else, you might have a chance with her.
I have noticed though that guys whom I have platonic relationships with never really get out of that. Even though they're always there for me,(which I do appreciate) when they confess their feelings to me I'm usually already interested in somebody else or I just don't see them as anything more than friends. I don't know why this is, though, it's kind of strange.

Prilee1992 · Answer

The last sentence is the one that you need to improve. Flirting is a great skill to BREAK RAPPORT. When you're able to break rapport with anyone, attraction booms! Men or women are gonna be attracted to your social intelligence instantly cause you're that funny cool dude to talk to. Now your problem is you been interacting with her for 2 months straight without knowing whether her intention to you is strictly platonic or not. I would encourage to ask her out 1-1, try it! If she says no... im busy this weekend, just kick the ball back to her and says find you when she changes her mind. And then you move on! Don't circulate yourself around her alone! There're so many guys out there.

When you've had an intention to help her 'secretly' because u thought someday she's going to change her mind to like you? That's manipulative and incongruent with your intention.

taurus-gemini · Answer

I personally have never hooked up with any of my male friends. I always either start as friends or right away as dating material. BUT, doesn't mean all women are like this. Do you know her type? Surely if she runs to you to speak about problems you may have an idea of the type of men she dates.

Do you see yourself in that category?

Some women are also looking for that sweet guy who has that "just-right" bad boy in them. Meaning, they are not afraid to grab the lady and pull them in for that hot kiss...

Some times, not easy reading someone but have you tried asking her on a "date"?

Hiking?
Coffee?
attend an event together?

If you really like this person, it doesn't hurt to try is what I say. :)
I hope all turns out well for you.

Jack_S · Answer

Sounds like you are in a shitty spot.

One method guys try is to ramp up flirtations so she starts to wonder if you do like her, then
Ask her out on a date, using vocabulary making clear it's romantic in nature

At this point, 2 options. Either she says yes, and you score a date.

Option two is she turns you down, either passively or otherwise.
If this happens, either except that you won't be dating her, or tell her that you can't be that type of friend for her because it's to hard for you to bury your feelings.
Following that, you'll need to cut ties with her in hopes she decides you are worth the attention.

something to try anyways if your at your wits end. Good luck.

Cloud1991 · Answer

Well I friend zoned my fiancé at first but 6 months into our friendship I noticed how amazing he was. It also helped that he let me know he liked me. So by the time I noticed that I started liking it was natural for me to move our relationship to the next level.

There is hope after the "friend zone " but you have to let her know your feelings. I wish you luck.

BushBabyBoo · Answer

You can't turn it around. You can't make her love you. The best thing for both of you is to find someone else. First of all, you deserve better than someone who doesn't love you. I've been there, I understand loving someone but I have also been with someone who would do anything for me from day 1, don't you want that too?

Girls don't "friendzone" guys for being there for them. If a guy is a friend, he's a friend. Niceness doesn't mean we have to love you. Girls can't help who they love, and if a guy is a good friend then he stays a friend. She will probably be offended and think that you've just been her friend to get in her pants.

ImNotCreativeEither · Answer

It's all about attraction. I actually think you're in a good spot because you haven't been friends with her for years, so I don't think she would have to worry about losing a dear friend if you ever made your feelings known, but you're close enough that she trusts you, so you have a leg up over other guys or more than you would with a girl you just met.

For something to go from friendship to something more, there needs to be physical attraction. You have to excite her physically. Occasionally put your hand on her knee for a few seconds, like maybe to pause the conversation while you order a drink or something, touch her hand here and there, get physically close if you're watching TV with her or something. Act more masculine. You might want to let her catch you checking out other girls or even suggest there's a girl you're into. Then show her a little less attention so she thinks you're out with another girl. Make her jealous. Make her think about you in a way she never has before.

aficionado · Answer

Looks like she is using you. Also, have you ever tried confessing to her? If not, then you can't really blame her,

Girls friendzone guys who they don't find physically attractive, irrespective of whether he's there for her or not. It's that simple, really.

angbelles · Answer

Honestly for the most part if someone is going to like you, it will either happen or it won't. However, 2 months really isn't that long so there's still hope. I would be a little less available or try bringing up other girls around her. Or make your flirting attempts a little more obvious. If she acts like she doesn't care about the other girls or completely ignores your obvious attempts at flirting, she's unfortunately not into you.

oneconfusedgirl803 · Answer

As someone who has managed to crush on a few special guy friends over the years, and didn't tell them. And of course regretted it later. I suggest a few things:

1. Start flirting with her and see how she responds. It depends on if you will read into this. As for me I never get it. I happen to be a flirt and am friends with flirty guys. Which means I never see their flirting as actual flirting.

2. Hoe physical do you guys currently get. This is a good way to test the waters. Hug her more. If she is receptive, hug her longer and touch her more.

3. If she seems receptive to the flirting and the touching, just tell her. And respect her answer either way!

Steps one and two are to warm you up to the telling.

GreatnessPersonified · Answer

"Do girls just friend zone guys who are always there for them?"

No, they friend zone guys they are not attracted to sexually, but are attracted to emotionally.
In other words, you are cool enough to be a friend and close to her, but not to be a boyfriend.
First: What you need to do is stop listening to her gripes about other guys. Tell her to talk to girlfriend if she wants that.
Second: you need to stop talking and start acting. Men are action characters. You can tell her you want something more, but it's better to SHOW.
Touch her sensually.
learn some of these techs, it helped me go from no girlfriend to married to a hot woman and I didn't have to change my innate, awesome personality.
www.puatraining.com/.../kino-escalation-tips-that-turn-women-on

butimsharon · Answer

Number one rule- if a girl you like feels comfortable enough to tell you almost everything, you already got some parts covered.
I don't think she's taking you for granted, I just think you should show her you trust her too. Tell her things, problems, whatever. Make her feel you trust her too and while doing that drop some signs.

umathurman · Answer

it's not like girls knowingly friendzone guys. how could we know you want to be more if all you do is act like a friend? ever thought of how it feels to be girlfriendzoned? it's really annoying when a guy you thought was your friend turns out to have only acted that way to get close to you. tell her now how you really feel if you cared about her at all you wouldn't lie like that

Anonymous · Answer

If she talks to you about her problems that means she trusts you in way or other and she appreciates your opinion or feedback, or maybe just you being there as a listener makes her feel very comfortable. I friendedzone my best friend who is now my hubby, I used to run to him talking about my x-boyfriend problems and my horrible job. But if you really want her to be more than a friend try to do activities with her, take her out, do fun things, your relationship with her doesn't have to be about problems and drama, show her how much it could be fun to hang out with you, make her laugh and have a good time, show her how much you care.

RachelBrigs · Answer

Yeah we are just like really turned off by supportive and caring guys so we friend zone all of em!

... no. More like, she's always just seen you as just a friend, but you're also a good friend. Being a good friend doesn't automatically switch you into the potential boyfriend category tho

THEALIster · Answer

A GIRL WILL FRIENDZONE ANY GUY THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN , BECAUSE SHE IS NOT OBLIGATED TO BE INTERESTED IN ANYONE NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO FOR HER. The only thing you could do to better a situating like this is to either keep doing what your doing, be more obvious, or move on to someone who likes you.

DominiqueDiana · Answer

Well, considering the circumstances, you should definitely not slow down the communication with her. She trust you! You need to tell her how you feel about her, and ask how she feels about you. COMMUNICATION is key! It's actually really good that she is so comfortable with you... she will most likely be comfortable with your intentions if you know what I mean!

MrTexan37 · Answer

Yes its too late for you you might as well have slumber parties and do each others nails cause she will never see you as more than her friend move on, unless you dont mind being her friend thats cool too but yeah seek other girls man and hey dont see it as a bad thing but a learning experiance now you know how not to act when you meet the next one best of luck man!

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