URGENT HELP! My girlfriend put a knife up to my throat & threatened to kill me if I leave her. Do I stay in the relationship, end it or call the cops?

Question

First of all I should point out that she is not the same girl I fell in love with 2 years ago & I no longer feel the same way about her. I have noticed changes in her behaviour & temperment, negative ones with her lashing out & becoming more & more aggressive as time has progressed. She has been aggressive to both me, her family members, her friends & other people & it is definitely getting worse. I have tried to speak to her & help her with her behavioural issues but she is in complete denial about it. Furthermore I have been punched, slapped, threatened & had things thrown at me which is why I decided enough is enough & decided it was time to end the relationship.

I sat her down & told her I was breaking up with her. She started crying & ran out of the living room with tears streaming down her face. I thought she was going to the bedroom to cry but she quickly came back into the living room carrying a large kitchen knife. I jumped out of my seat & put my hands up instinctively but I was backed into a corner. She put the 10 inch kitchen knife right up to my throat so the blade was touching my adam's apple & threatened to kill me if I left her. Out of fear I retracted what I said & agreed that we can stay together. I was so scared I had tears running down my cheeks & when she lowered the knife I let her have sex with me because I was scared. 

I am also worried about the fact she owns a handgun & hides it from me. I have only seen her gun once when she came back from the shooting range which she goes to on Monday & Thursday evenings. Her dad is a ballistics specialist in the Army so he has had her shooting guns since she was 11 years old. He is the last person I want to piss off by dumping her but since she threatened to kill me with the knife on Friday night, I have been unable to close my eyes or sleep at night with her lying in the bed next to me. I am absolutely petrified that she will stab or shoot me if I try to leave her again or upset he

Knuckles77 · Accepted Answer

So much for the myth DV is a male only crime. Sorry bro, I know all too well myself unfortunately. Sounds like she's addicted to some substance. If she wasn't always like this always it definetly points towards substance abuse of some type, and/or possibly a mental health issue.

Here's what you need to do. I'm assuming you live together right? Do you have somewhere you can temporarily stay until you can get a place of your own? Hopefully that's a yes. ASAP, go to somewhere you can stay that's safe (friends house, family, ect) IMMEDIATLY. This won't stop by itself. If nothing else a cheap sleezy motel. If you can't do either of those try a homeless shelter or better than nothing your car. You need to be somewhere that's not where she is and is safe. ASAP get some of your buddies (also so you have witness) and move your crap out of there. Put your stuff in storage if need be until you can work out your situation. She will probably thrash your stuff when she realizes you're not coming back. You can replace your stuff, but not your life. Do not be alone with her under any conditions. Arm yourself, if you don't have or can't afford a gun, put at least a mele' weapon in your car, and carry at least a pocket knife on you at all times. Plan on getting a gun and concealed carry permit ASAP. You should do this anyway. You can also have the police do a civil stand by while you move your stuff. I doubt you can have her arrested because it's a he said, she said deal now. You should have called them immediately when this happened. You should at least let your local PD know what happened so it's documented. You should be able to file a police report. This will also help you should you ever need to physically defend yourself. Do not talk to her on the phone unless it's recorded. There are many apps you can purchase to do that. Communicate only via text or email only so there is a written record and save that stuff.

Obviously she will know it's over. Change your phone number, and never talk to her again. If she ever pulls that sorry shit again (which shouldn't happen because you will never be alone with her right?) assume your life is in danger and mash the living fuck out of her. You need to get away from her IMMEDIATLY!!! My deepest sympathies bro. I went through something very similar with my ex wife. God be with you and best of luck! This is exactly why I own guns and know how to use them. This is a deadly serious and heavy situation. Please keep me posted.

Crusoe90 · Accepted Answer

GET OUT OF THERE! She essentially just assaulted and raped you! Think about what you would tell your mother or sister if a man had done this to them! You can't just stay in that situation, you said yourself that she's getting worse! What if you disagree with her on something in the future, and she decides to get the gun! She doesn't sound stable, get out and contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not voting on any of them. This is a tough one. You can have her charged attempted murder, then again since there are no witnesses its your word against hers. She has a serious mental disorder. She may even be schizophrenic. She needs an involuntary psychological hold, immediately. She's probably capable of injuring you seriously. You need to talk to her parents, with your parents alone, and tell them what happened. If they dont agree on the psych hold, then go to the police. They can put her in the psych ward.

Nomad2 · Accepted Answer

Get the hell out of there!!! She is psycho... I can only imagine what goes through your mind. This isn't a life. Everyone has right to feeling safe and at peace. If she did that to you once and you let her get away, it would happen again for sure. You may not even want to report her, since these things hard to prove unless you go to the doctors and get report about injuries - bruises etc... but for your own sake both physical and mental get out of there! There are plenty nice women out there

MissPanda · Accepted Answer

Record her secretly admitting she did that, go to the cops and leave her ass. If you go the cops without evidence she might turn it around on you and play victim, men get unfairly treated in domestic cases usually. It's sad but they might believe her over you if she lies and says you had a knife instead. If they arrest her they will ban her from going to your apartment, then a police escort will be required for her to get her belongings out.

Humping_Tornadoes · Answer

Unfortunately, the other guys are right the cops won't be of too much help since you are a man, and society/the law in general see abusive relationship as a joke. It can do more harm than good in this case.

So your family and friends know about this? It's better to present a formal denounce collectively (with your family) of what this woman is doing.

Poppykate · Answer

You need to leave the house now, and go straight to the police. Your life was and still is in danger!. She could have killed you... If you can't leave the house, call the police from a mobile phone in the backyard or text the police online.

ThePragmaticRomantic · Answer

Leave her immediatly. You should be able to find male domestic abuse help in your area who can walk you through the whole police thing, if you want to persue it, or just getting a restraining order if you so choose.

Minxxie · Answer

That is abuse and she isn't going to stop, I know you love her but it's never going to end unless you leave. You need to call the cops and stop contact with her.

Cmasterson · Answer

Anything that involves putting your life in danger I would tell her that I would call the cops to see if that would change her mind, but whilst you're away from her.

Possible_Mate · Answer

get the hell out out of there as quickly as you can without her knowing where you are going. she needs serious help. she's not right in the head.

Chief16 · Answer

Damn man. I'm sorry, you like you pretty much signed your own death warrant. Gotta say though, this chick is a piece of work. Have you tried finding help for her?

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with MissPanda get evidence (under the radar) after just make sure your not near your girlfriend or where she could find you when you call the cops and call the cops before you break up with her. And then avoid her until the cops detain her

CharlesRitchet · Answer

Forgiveness is the key!!. Love her more. She need more love. Love is like a botulinum poison.3 kg of botulinum poison can kill all the inhabitants of the earth. Likewise , Love can touch , love can change because love never fails.

SelenaRandall · Answer

She sounds crazy at this stage you should stay away from her, end it and maybe file a restraining order.

9mfeo · Answer

Get the fuck out. Get all of the legal help you can behind you.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I'd have to call the cops to come collect the body.

Gnana · Answer

Call the cops when you're with family or people you trust. Never go back to see her.

zagor · Answer

Wait til she is gone for the day and take all your things and get out. I normally wouldn't think much of someone who broke up over the phone but in your case it seems the prudent thing to do.

NightmareNeal · Answer

watch your back bro. be prepared for her following you.

AlphaAussie · Answer

If you stay with her you deserve to be stabbed. Just sayin

Anonymous · Answer

You should be glad you have a woman, shut up and stop complaining and just do whatever she wants you too.  You should be proud she bears arms too, she is defending your right as an American!

Krillanr · Answer

I would recommend getting away from her and filing a restraining order against her. Consult with a lawyer about what you should do.

Twistedmagic · Answer

Hun if its not okay for a man to do those thing s to me (a woman) why should it be okay for a woman to do it to you?   I know you might love her but she's dangerous at this point.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, don't even bother calling the cops because they won't do shit for a man threatened with violence from a woman. Just run the hell out and never go near her again...

URGENT HELP! My girlfriend put a knife up to my throat & threatened to kill me if I leave her. Do I stay in the relationship, end it or call the cops?

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URGENT HELP! My girlfriend put a knife up to my throat & threatened to kill me if I leave her. Do I stay in the relationship, end it or call the cops?

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