I find when it comes to dating women tend to live in a fantasy world. They see a guy and already plan out in their heads what he's like, the life she has vision with him together, his body language and his voice even before meeting him. This is why many women will give guys the go to signal to approach but if his body language doesn't match up with how she envisioned, or his voice totally doesn't match with what she thought it wasn't going to be she tends to next him and move onto the next guy.
It seems women have this cookie cutter idea of the guy they want right down to how he should walk, talk, dress, car he should drive, his eyes, race, hair style and color and if a guy deviates from this too much he gets nexted. I mean seriously I've never heard of a man to drop a woman because he didn't like the shoes she was wearing but women tend to this far too often with men. Hell, even when we look at first date impressions women will next your ass if you don't make it into a magical disney moment for her 1st shot when you go out. The same can be applied for women offering you the chance to have sex with her. if you didn't pick up on her subtle body language she next you.
So my question is why do women tend to live in fantasy world where any signs of imperfection and you get nexted and they only begin to compromise when they are in their 30's?
Why do women live in a fantasy world when it comes to dating?
Lol, dude, we don't *really* "next" guys literally because of things like the shoes they're wearing. In cases like that, it's really just that the vibe isn't there. If you really press us for an explanation, we'll probably start by trying to tell you the truth: "The vibe wasn't there." Because... The vibe wasn't there.
If you don't recognize that "The vibe wasn't there" is a TOTALLY LEGITIMATE excuse to pass on someone, then, I am very sad for you and yr future relationships.
The thing is this: If you don't understand that this *is* a legitimate reason, and you KEEP pressing us for *other* reasons... THAT's when we'll start coming up with random excuses like yr shoes. Because we really just want you to stfu and gtfo, and stop demanding point-by-point explicit explanations for things that are never going to happen anyway. That. THAT is the most annoying thing... is when guys are looking BACKWARD, into the past, instead of forward, into the future. THAT is unattractive.
What's attractive is when you can just cut yr losses, pick yr battles, and move on with yr life, looking toward the future and not giving a fuck about the past and who nexted you and why. It's over. Sunk cost. If you can laugh at it, good. Otherwise, forget it.
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Also... if you are getting shut down so fast... take a long hard look at yrself. Are you sure you haven't been trying to punch above yr proverbial weight? Out of yr league?
Do you understand what women actually find attractive, and, can you -- bluntly, honestly, and without prejudice -- ACCURATELY measure yrself on those things?
I mean, with very rare (and mostly easy-to-explain) exceptions, people go for others on the same level of attractiveness as themselves. So, if you really *are* getting insta-nexted all the time, that suggests that you might not be self-evaluating as honestly as you should.
Why the hell do men have to press women for the truth? Why the fuck can't women just say the truth? Oh yeah women live in a fantasy world that's right! Duh how silly of me
Stop acting as if you all don't live in your own fantasty world. You all want girls with big tits and big asses and someone that will fuck your brains out and cook you dinner and be at your beck and call. Why are guys so fucking bitter here? Take some responsibility and stop crying and complaining all your life.
wow what a sterotype. All want girls with big tits and asses... A lot of guys dont look into that (tits and ass) unless they are perverted (guys you should avoid) that much. Its more about if she is fuckable or not. What he says is actually true on many points
Big tits and big ass aren't attractive. That's a new thing. And I cook way better then all the women I know. As to Beck and call, it's more the other way around. We are bitter because women are more likely to be rude first, and like he said next guy without even getting to know him And as to fuck our brains out, that's really not fun or fulfilling. You women think way to much about how much guys value your bodies. Every woman has the same parts. It's the mind we want
@mikeaaa Dude, i couldn't have put it any better myself. acting like we are just mindless drones and when we see a good pair of ass or tits we think marriage... Mind is where its at... i can get a good pair of ass an tits anywhere... but finding a girl who doesn't just right off the bat start assuming and starting arguments and can actually listen and have a non-biased discussion... see now That is a catch. Jaded over here is probably one of those that just skirts by on looks, but i not judging, if thats your thing jaded, work it boo... but some of us want girls with brains in their heads... not just arm candy that can give "brain".
@Tdieseler sure you do. All you guys pull the same card. "Oh I want a girl with brains" until you actually get one and realize that you can't fuck her over. And I've read some of your opinions on here. Like I said, I know your type.
Her name is Jaded people. Stop trying to say anything to her. She is obviously hurting on some level. Her opinion is just as valid as anyone elses. Now watch me get bitched at because she will take this as me rescue her. I'm not because she doesn't need it. Just sick of reading this crazy crap. She is bitter. Guys no matter what we say she will find fault so just leave it alone.
@mikeaaa of course I have to be hurting and bitter. No one has called the asker hurt and bitter though. Not the first time I've been called that and it won't be the last. My opinions will remain the same whether I'm single or involved.
@mikeaaa Im not gonna judge her, i don't know her, for all i know, she's bitter, for all i know... she's just clueless like most of em. I wouldn't know. but i will respond to the "thats what you guys all say until you find a girl with brains" comment... @Jaded214 there is a difference between having brains and trying to "one-up" or intimidate your partner and thats what some women do. rather than use those brains/smarts to keep a relationship going, they try to use it to intimidate their partners to get their own way. and then wonder why the poor guy leaves. he asked for a girl with brains, got one, but then she starts bullying him with it. sometimes its just a fail either way. I've seen girls that claim to have "brains" but have been cheated on multiple times... see... that won't happen if the claim was true. she would have figured a way to keep at least one.
@Tdieseler clueless like most of them? Haha I'm far from clueless sweetheart. I don't need to one up someone I'm with. It's not a competition. If anything we need to feed off each other. And wtf does cheating have to do with this?
Its usually what happens eventually darling. and i agree with the feeding off each other part. thats the way it should be... sadly, its not the way it usually is. people make it into a competition, rather than just work hand in hand.
@Tdieseler relationships are give and take. They only work if both parties are not only aware of that, but willing to apply both the give and the take. Not point the finger and place the blame.
But thats what a lot of women do. never accept anything is their fault and they are always right and blaming the guy who like many other guys... usually is playing "defense" making them easy targets for being blamed. like i said... there's a way it should be but its not usually how it happens.
@Tdieseler see I thought maybe I was wrong about you but nope, I was spot on. Just another guy that's wants to blame women for everything wrong in the world. Shame, you're a handsome one too.
I still say you are wrong... if anything... i just want to be left alone. its the women that always want something... i only want one and sometimes, i don't even get that. is that a bad thing? i mean i only want just one thing... but i get like 13,058 requests... and thats just in one day.
Yup... it sure is. and i think i beat you to the punch on that one... im not IN a relationship just so i don't have to deal with those requests. i just keep things simple and only go for that one thing... works just fine for me (and them :) )
HA!! I don't want any of that!! But being 'Jaded' you must want a guy with HUGE muscles, a HUGE penis, a BMW, and making $250,000 or more, right? Be real, and say what you REALLY want, HONESTLY!!!
@mikeaaa its simple... ridiculously so. if jaded guessed it... she's right but it means she was wrong about the other... no drama in friends with benefits.
maybe sometimes a little drama comes up but like you said... its usually from someone catching feelings and wanting "something more"... the good part? its salvageable... just break off the benefits. the drama is way less in that area and comes up Later. With dating, its from the start...
No one has hurt me... why does everyone keep asking me that? if anything, I did the hurting... for a long time... then i just gave up completely... its not worth the stress being the "perfect" boyfriend meanwhile underneath just being completely irritated constantly. i just wanted simpler with less drama.
People mistake the vibe thats why i constantly have to tell em... its not me being butthurt or anything... its me just not giving a crap. I have little tolerance/patience for all the different stereotypes, expectations, misogyny, misandry, double standards... etc etc that goes on in this tug of war between guys and girls. can't a brother just ask for something that is simple and doesn't have like some kind of path its "supposed" to go in?
@Tdieseler but life is nothing but a bunch of rounds of tug of war. It just seems like you wanna keep your options open and not be tied down. Nor titles or anything. My question is what happens when you actually find someone that you want more with? Or when you come across someone that wants more with you? You're plan isn't gonna always be smooth sailing.
I do want to keep my options open... frees me up and i can do things i normally wouldn't do. I've always said, when you put someone/something on a leash or in a cage, the only thing they want is to get out or get away... but let em roam free, and they will come back to you. my philosophy at least. As for the wanting more/more being wanted... almost all the girls i meet want "more"... even though its usually previously agreed that there wouldn't be any. And I've met a few, just a handful of girls that i wanted more from and its either they are already in a relationship, or im kindly turned down cuz they have no interest. So again, i just say fuck it and be a free bird/whore lol.
@Tdieseler yeah but who knows what they've picked up while they're out roaming? You just seem like someone that is anti relationship no matter what comes your way. That whole on a leash statement just proves that. And that's perfectly fine. I just hope you don't look up when you're 50 and wish you'd settled down.
Hey, i regret that now already. most of my friends are either married or getting married and i know well from experience not to let the pressure force you into rushing into something you'd regret. and the pressure is real too. But i keep my head focused, i'd rather wait for someone im actually interested in, than rush in with just anyone, because i can tell you honestly, those are a dime a dozen. can't count the number of times i've had to do some turning downs...
Seriously, dude, it's not just women, having 'fantasies'!! It's not like more Lyle Lovette-looking guys are going to get Julia Roberts!! Seriously!! Most guys are kind of just pathetic, from a woman's perspective!! I know, yeah, because I talk to women, and have a lot of female friends!! Ok, now the 'Gay' comments start... Not embarrassed, not caring!! I LOVE WOMEN!! I love working with them, talking with them, how they smell so nice, how they care about what they wear and how they look!! WHY DO ALL THE GOOD ONES HAVE TO BE MARRIED, OR HAVE GIRLFRIENDS? I kind of think that their 'Fantasy' ideal, is something for guys to try to be, to get their attention! I'm OK with that!! Tell me what you are looking for, and maybe I can clean up, or try harder, and be that? Simple-minded response!! What's wrong with a 'fantasy ideal' and wanting to feel 'Swept Away' and caught up in that 'fantasy'? If that's what she is wanting, that's what I want to try to do, for her, on that date!! Why wouldn't you? If you are interested in this one, and care, and think that there might be some long-term, thing, why not go all out, and try to make her smile, and impress her? I don't think it is that much of a fantasy, or unrealistic...
Fucking stupid fairy tale books... thinking its happy ever after and shit. while guys are learning sports and real world shit, they are stuck in those books. it goes from snow white and cinderella to those stupid romance novels... Hey, i specialize in bringing their asses back down to earth but they don't make it easy... its like fighting a helium-filled balloon... you can bring it down to earth but the moment you relax.. its going back up to fantasy land again.
hehehe, thanks for MH, i was gonna add on there that the same way girls aways say that they have to drag men "kicking and screaming" into fatherhood, its the same way we gotta drag them kicking and screaming away from that fantasy world. but guess what, as always, we only hear the female side because most of these guys won't speak up and defend themselves. So scared of the power of vagina lol... afraid they won't get any if they speak up. im past that... and thats why i haven't been dragged into anything, not even Valentine's day.
@Jaded214 bitter... no darling, just irritated. wanting to defend oneself doesn't mean they are on bullshit or bitter, just means they won't take bullshit JUST SO they don't become bitter. big difference between bitter and irritated. Bitter is upfront, irritation happens over time.
@stanhope5 No sir, @Jaded214 is real intelligent and she knows it all... and im just a bitter old man. i know nothing about what i speak of. Jaded has dated multiple girls and knows exactly what they do, thats why she feels she has the right to put in her half cent on a decent post.
"Why do girls... " is a sure sign that you don't see women as people, but as some kind of alien life form that has something you want. You see them giving that thing to other guys, but not you. Well, it's not them. It's you. Same for women who ask "why do guys..."
Ever heard of the husband store? Women love only two ways: women love ONLY they're children unconditionally. Women love opportunistically ONLY. Men are trying to swing to as many women as he can collecting as many as he can while women are only taking one at a time for what seems forever
Guys and girls usually enter a date with different expectations. Girls watch all those love movies and read fairytales that falsely show what love is. They are also not taught by parents to do their half of the relationship. Girls should stop being fed bullshit to help these relationship work out.
It's the modern way. Feminist have forgotten that humans work best in a couple. A guys best friend was always a woman. Now it's all image not substance. Sooner or later all these young people will see this. Like in their 30s after they are nasty used up std ridden not worth having. Guys as well as girls. Not all people are like this but it does seem to be the most common attitude these days. I expect a future filled with single people
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