My girlfriend was talking to a guy behind my back for over a month.

Thursday February 25th 2010 I found out that my girlfriend was on the phone with another guy (since January 15th 2010). At this period of time they exchange about 200 messages and talk on the phone for about 15 minutes at a time about 5-6 times excluding the last weekend before I found out. I have... Show More

All this period of time (month or so) she was asking me to break up because I wasn't talking to her and that she need it a lot (I am not a talkative guy-never was) she told me the same thing sparsely throughout our relationship.

When confronted her with her phone records evidence she told me that she needed someone to talk to and this is why she was talking to this guy. She apologizes; she started crying when I got up to leave, and she was begging me not to do this and that she l
loves me. And also she didn’t know that I care about her a lot and she thought that I had her for granted. She never got physical with him ( I believe her -99% :-)- there is a good reason). They were met at the cafe she works and this is where they start
started talking. She sat down sometimes with him and they were talking (according to her) about each others' problems (he had just broken up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago). He also told her that he was seeing a psychologist for the past 10
years, and that his father had some kind of cancer and his mother was crying all the time. Also she told him that she has a boyfriend (again according to her) but I know the guy (by face) and he knows me, so he knowing that she had a Boyfriend(believable)
After I found out, she told him that he is creating a lot of problems in her relationship and she doesn’t want to talk to him again. He never went to the place she works and not even asks how he could fix the problem; except that I can go talk to him…
would anyone go talk to him? Is this guy for real? He was trying to sleep with her-period. The question is what SHE was trying to do?
Over the past month though we came very close to each other, and we have a lot of fun together. It’s just that this thing comes to my head (lost my complete trust to her) from time to time and we fight and she is crying, but never left me.
I haven’t broken up with her, as I am looking for the opinion of someone neutral to both of us. So my concern is this, why she was hiding it from me?

Thanks in advance
when I said "After that start texting again on Sunday..." I meant "After that THEY start texting again on Sunday..." you can find that in the middle of the main description. and the male friend she had before we got together...
do you think she was cheating?

Most Helpful Girl

  • this guy was probably giving her emotional and mental attention that she felt she wasn't getting from you. also this guy was going through a lot of problems and she probably felt like she was being a good friend by being there for him.. it seems like she really does care and I don't think she was cheating. it seems like the guy could have been looking for a way "in there" but I doubt she was, she just liked the attention. of course she hid it from you because its not very pleasant for a boyfriend to hear.

    try giving her the attention that she was getting from this guy. take care of home first and then this will probably go away. good luck

    • Thanks a bunch, this was very helpful coming from a woman. And as per your advice this is what I am doing. I am giving her the attention.

      Thanks again

    • Can you please check the last two updates and the two comments I added on zoom below? its some updates that I came up with. I love her and she loves me and we are together again. Just can't get this out of my head because I believe she was trying to built a relationship with this guy before she breaks up with me. to have something steady. but then one month she should be ready to leave me. she cut any relationship with this guy and she even deleted him from her Facebook. thanks