Girls, why do you want the guy to pay for the date?

Question

For those girls who think a man should pay for the date, why do you think he has to do that? 
Please, be honest, and give a solid answer.

hellionthesage · Accepted Answer

Women wanting men to pay is an extention of biology. Sex is resource intensive that has women taking almost all the risk. A man providing a resource is an assurance that he will be more invested in her and her well being improving her disposition to take the risk of sex (pregnancy years of child dependency etc) because he is more willing to share his resources with her. Its a biological drive, thats why women preffer men who make more money then them ie have more resources and why relationships where the woman is the primary bread winner usually end with divorce/cheating. Of course previously while men where expected to provide their resources and protection women where expected to provide their resources (sex) and skills (cooking, maintaing what the man created etc). Now that women do not have that expectation men are seeing little reason to adhere to their own expectations of providing resources to women.

Words_and_Wisdom · Accepted Answer

Those kinds of women think their time is more valuable than the man's. They have this narcissistic, selfish attitude that a man has to pay for their time.

rose004b · Accepted Answer

I don't expect guys to pay for dates, but in my country, that's still the norm. I think it's safe to say that this is not the case in Western countries anymore because of the effects of modern feminism.

It's a cultural thing. In some countries men are chivalrous and they're still expected to pay for dates. When girls don't let guys pay for dates, they actually feel insulted and emasculated (and no, I'm not making that up).
Also, the concept of "dating" the way Americans understand it and practise it doesn't really exist. When a guy asks a girl on a date and she accepts, the courtship is taken seriously by both. Dates are not casual.

The key aspect is that although men and women have equal rights and both genders are expected to go to university and/or work, the gender roles in relationships are preserved.

FantasticDay · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend always pay in every date. I take it as he is the provider as in a traditional way. I dont mind him paying and he feels bad if I pay. Well he makes way more money than I do. As long as he is financially okay then its fine, he will tell me if he is not. Like last time we were planning on a date, he simply told me he is broke, so we went to somewhere cheap and we finally went to window shopping and movies at home, for free. BUT, I never took it as granted. I do bring him home made dessert every single time we meet, I bought him a lot of souvenir for him also for his parents and his kids. So it supposed to be 2 way, both give and take.

justbanANNAz · Accepted Answer

i dont need him to pay for every date, but on things like a special occasion or the first date, him paying the date simple shows me 3 things.

1. he's a gentleman
2. he isn't stingy
3. he's willing to spoil me from time to time.

it's not just about the money. it's about his attitude towards money and how important it is in his life in relation to me. i dont have huge expectations, and am more than willing to add my own contribution, but for us, we see it as an indication of what he'll b like down the line.

teawrecks · Answer

I don't. It actually makes me uncomfortable to have someone else pay for me. I've tried to refuse a guys money for my movie ticket before, but he wouldn't allow it.

Like I could have $1 in my bank account and I would overdraw just so someone else wasn't paying for me.

CocoRachelle · Answer

I've wondered this as well. I really don't want anyone to pay for me, but I had female acquaintances that always insisted on having their date pay. I never understood it (well, the free ride I guess), but I always felt bad if the guy paid.

However, the fact that the guy offers makes me appreciate him and the offer. He's showing he is a gentleman and is trying to be nice.

archiz · Answer

in lebanon it is the norm. Like a man should pay for the girl, pick her up and what so.
I don't like it cause I feel like I owe him smthng.
Usually I offer and insist but they get pissed, lol one once offered to leave if I don t put back my wallet.
anw with my girl friends I am usually the one who pays for others or so.
my logic is, it is better for other to owe you smthng than you owing them. it gives you more power.

DheElon · Answer

I believe a man should pay because it demonstrates that he can be a provider and it's sexy af to me. But I also believe it should be mutual both parties should take turns paying for dates etc.

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

I don't expect or want him to UNLESS I previously paid for our last date. I'm the kind of person who reciprocates good gestures, so if I pay for our meal this time, that means you pay next time. Otherwise we can just split the bill.

anshin · Answer

I let the man pay on the first date. Succeeding dates will be alternate. I'm earning too so I can't just depend like that to him or to anyone for the matter.

carinerose · Answer

He doesn't HAVE to. I wanna be able to pay for my own meals, cinema tickets, concerts etc... BUT if once in a while he offers to pay, it's a plus. Not because of money, but because I'd think he had good manners and liked me enough to want to pay for me.

melme16 · Answer

I think whoever wants the date (meaning whoever asked the person out on that date) should pay.  I might ask out or he might.  Then we alternate after that.

Mustachekitteh · Answer

Only time I would let a dude pay is if I'm flat out broke and he really wants that date.  Other than that I would want to pay for myself.

zombiebabe · Answer

nope... just split the bill each time or... on date one : they split the bill date two: one of them pay date three: the other one pay *starts over again on the other dates*

EmpatheticLady · Answer

I don't expect him to pay at all. If he really wants to, that's fine, but I'd rather pay for my own meal. I feel bad having someone else spend money on me.

phoenix2000 · Answer

U left me speechless. I dont know what to say. Cause we're not smart enough to think about that maybe. I accept that lol

Red7336 · Answer

out of care and respect...  well split and w/e later on but the first few times he has to pay

Sasham25 · Answer

I think it should both should pay for their own meals, unless someone wants to pay for it all. And you do it back and forth

SweetHomicidalQueen · Answer

id rather he pay cause im broke and can't get $ or a job. if i had money id pay like every other date ir somethin

YoungAndInnocent · Answer

lol yeah I would if I had the money. Honestly I'm young so I've only had one boyfriend in my lifetime, but I still don't think it's right that people think that men should pay. They both should pay for themselves.

ChocoLada · Answer

I don't think a man should pay all the time, I had my share of paying for the date, and split bills too sometimes.

meatballs21 · Answer

Because she's a special princess and the only person in the world who has a vagina, he should be honoured she even agreed to turn up.

Jxpxtxr · Answer

Whoever invited should pay, simple as that.
I don't even like dinner dates - like please, get more creative.. - so if they insist on taking me to a restaurant despite that, why on earth should I pay for that?

IceEverest · Answer

There was a girl who wrote a mytake saying that "men paying for dates is equality"...

Girls, why do you want the guy to pay for the date?

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