If I'm shy and never had a girlfriend, will I ever get one?

If I'm shy and never had a girlfriend will I ever get one? What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, always been single, not by choice, I've tried getting one but no luck, the girls that I have been interested in did not welcome my advances on them, seriously, I bet if I was a girl, I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago, not that I am gay, I'm just saying that it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

    • Nah, guys have the advantage of being the ones to pick. You can go out and get ALMOST ANY GIRL YOU WANT. The only thing you need to do is grow a pair and approach. If you were a girl, you'd have to wait for someone to man up.

      I recommend you read some Pick Up Artist material (I prefer natural game). And always remember: If things don't work a first, don't give up, try again.

    • Show All
    • Yeah but all girls have to do is reject or welcome our advances

    • What I really hate is that when girls start giving us nice guys a chance, is that when they become ugly

What Girls Said 30

  • this is a cute question, hehe. I can't answer the first question for sure, plainly because relationships just happen when it's suppose to (you can't tell when, where or what until you are at THAT very moment). But don't lose hope dear :) try to make more friends and socialize (not always if don't quite like to socialize a lot, but moderately will do). because even if you don't get a girlfriend when you first warm up to people and start to socialize, I'm sure you'll learn a great deal about people as well their behaviour and how to BE OBSERVANT (this is important especially if you are thinking of getting into a serious relationship. but again, everyone have different personalities and opinions on how they want their relationships to be like.) Also, be sincere in your own ACTIONS to girls. people can see thru that ;) I wish you the very best of luck, don't rush through things, get to know people first, and don't be afraid of stumbling rocks along the route :) xx

  • First of all, yes, you will eventually get a girlfriend. But you'll have a far harder time and far less success if you don't learn to take chances and express yourself to girls. It isn't that girls don't like nice or shy guys, it's that they make themselves so inaccessible. A dominant man will walk right up and 'take what's his' in the time it takes 20 shy guys to muster up the guts to talk to a girl. Women are attracted to dominance, and a dominant guy will approach women far more often than a shy guy, hence they'll get one faster just by statistical probability. If you like a girl, just go up to her and let her know. The worse she will say is no, at which point you have 6 billion others to chose from. It's honestly not that big a deal and you'll be better off for it.

  • yeah it will happen. you just gotta take risks and believe in yourself.

  • You will probably get a girlfriend at some point in your life but it will take awhile if you're not taking any intiatative. 95% of people get married at some point in their live and I bet you're probably not an exception.

  • Heeey! I can help ya. Be yourself. Some girls love shy guys (like me) ahahha. :) Wanna go out? lol just playiin. Well, to get noticed, just do simple things (hold doors for girls, simple nice stuff, etc. ) That'll get you noticed. Then just be ur sweet shy self. And things will play out. I'm the opposite of you . I'm a girl, but still have never had a boyfriend. best of lukc to you. HOpe things play out for yaaa.


More from Girls

What Guys Said 17

  • Dude... No...

    Ok, you sounds like cool guy, so I will share some secrets with you:

    1. Do you like yourself? Do you like your life, your job, your personality, your body? Why is this important? It is important because if you don't like yourself and your life, you don't have right energy, electricity, that attracts great girls. Do you feeling me? Everything is about your inner energy. That energy gives you confidence, smile, right body language - EVERYTHING that attracts amazing girlfriends.

    2. Do you have a great social circle? With who you hang out, who are your friends? Do you all the time meet new great people? How do you expect to find great girl? On Yahoo Answers? Hardly...

    3. Do you know how to deal with girls? Are you nice? Sweet? Good guy? If you are, it's about a time to change something. All I gonna to say is that: interesting girls do not like nice, sweet or good guys. They are too boring for them. Learn to bring some adventure, mystery, to touch her emotions, curiosity. Learn to free your passion and imagination!

    Well, I can write a tons of others suggestions and tips, but my time is priceless, and probably, like many other people who got my advice, you are just read this and continue to live your unhappy life...


    if you maybe, but just maybe, want to change something, check out link , but don't tell anyone ;)

  • It will come...trust me. I was 27 before I had my first serious g/f. When you meet the right girl you will know, and once you meet her, show some conviction.

    I will tell you what happened with me. I met 2 women that I was crushing on at about the same time. I followed up with both of them and made my intentions clear. I didn't come clear out and say "I like you" or "I want to date you" or something like that, but through my actions I made it clear I was interested.

    Eventually it became clear one of the girls wasn't for me, so I concentrated on the other. She didn't give in to my advances at first, but that was okay. We became friendly and got to know each other (which is fine as long as you make it clear what your end game is). Some girls need to get to know you.

    Some guys call this the "friend-zone", which it can absolutely become if you are not clear in your intentions. My girlfriend wasn't ready to jump into dating/relationship after our first meeting, but after a couple months of getting to know each other (through hanging out with mutual friends) she finally caved. Shortly there after our chemistry became clear. We are still dating today.

    It will happen, just don't force it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. It will come in time and when you do it the right way with the right girl, the relationship will be that much better.

    There is no one right way to do it. Some girls give in and crack easier than others. THink about it this way, even if she is not interested at first it doesn't matter. Don't give up. She won't really know the real you until she sees you in a one on one dating situation. Everything before that is perception. If you really want her...go after her!

    Good luck!

  • Remember when you were a kid and you were at that age you had to swallow a pill because they didn't make a chewable version? Recall how you didn't think you could do it? Now look at you. I bet today you have no problem taking a pill for a cold or headache. In fact you probably don't give it much thought.

    You can do the same thing with girls...ok, you can't cover them in syrup and try to swallow half of one, but you can take small steps to get to know them.

    Step 1: Go places women are at and do not leave until you speak to one. What to say? Regular things, women despite their good looks and complexities are human too. Ask them how this person is doing? Ask their opinion on something? Hell, just tap one on the shoulder say Hi, and run away.

    Step 2: The next thing you shoud do is go have a conversation with a girl. Again promise yourself you won't leave until you do. Who knows you might even have that conversation during step one. The truth is not every girl is going to be into you, but you won't know which ones are or aren't unless you talk to them.

    Step 3: Incorporate steps 1 & 2 with a girl whose number you would like to get and at the end of the conversation no matter what your inner voice says ask for her number or other means to contact her.

    Keep trying those three things mainly 1 & 2 and you will get better at talking to women. Do not try to preplan how a conversation will go or she will ask or say something you didn't expect and you will freeze (that's just awkward). If the woman you have chosen isn't receptive just walk away and be happy you had the courage to try. Then go find someone else to converse with.

    Remember one thing above all else. Not trying is worse than failing.

    Being rejected and not trying at all will give you the same results.

    If you ask for her number and she says no what have you lost? Nothing. If you don't even talk to her I guarantee you won't get her number which is the same as her saying no, but if you talk to her and she says yes...well, that's something that could only happen if you tried.

  • From personal experience: NEVER! :p

    • @solidranger - differences. to questionasker, these are just some of our points of view, you should still do and follow what your heart tells u. and always be yourself not just only to people you like but to everybody. don't try to impress a girl you like with your personality that isn't really you cos if in the end u'll be with her, be sure that what you've shown her won't change. cos some boys like to impress girls but once they got her, all of it is just gone.

    • I never told him to not be true to himself, but "yourself" is subjective and can adapt. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me encouraging a shy guy to be more social. It can only help his success with women.

      You women don't understand how dating works at as a guy. A girl can easily "be herself" and have guys ask her out. But when you're a guy its different because we're expected to do all the work. If he's too shy to even approach women, then "being himself" won't get him anywhere.

    • Oh well... I rest my case. you're a guy and you know what to do...

  • Don't listen to amarantine. She means well but she doesn't know how it really works to be a guy trying to find a girlfriend.

    If you keep doing what you're doing, then you won't find love. You're going to have to work through your shyness or it'll hold you back. Practice starting conversations with people, approach women. Work on your sense of humor, learn to be a little on the playfully cocky side, etc.

    • Oh crap I just realized I overlooked the shyness Issue, yow question asker if you are reading I think you can do both, work on the shyness and be friend first getting to know her. Hey soliddranger, you should try that sometime(knowing a girl as friend then work your way in the relationship) you would be surprise how much things she would share with you more than to get knowing starting in a relationship. try it dude try it!

    • Haaay solidranger, I guess we have our own ways of winning a woman's heart. but for women, there are lots of different women. some of them they like straight forward guys and they will be in a relationship without going through the "getting to know" part. how can you know someone more if you won't go through the friendship stage? I've seen lots of people who just jumped into a relationship or dating without knowing each other first and most of them broke up cos both sides are not willing to accept

    • I'm sorry, but if a guy wants to be successful with women, he cannot be a girls friend first. You have to make your intentions clear from the very beginning, or you become that friend she confides in but isn't interested in. It's called the friend zone for a reason.

      Yes, it's remotely possible to turn a friendship into a relationship, but it has a terrible track record. As a guy, its in your best interested to avoid the friend zone, not go into it willingly.

More from Guys