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If I'm shy and never had a girlfriend, will I ever get one?

If I'm shy and never had a girlfriend will I ever get one? What do I do?

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I'm 22 and never had a girlfriend, always been single, not by choice, I've tried getting one but no luck, the girls that I have been interested in did not welcome my advances on them, seriously, I bet if I was a girl, I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago, not that I am gay, I'm just saying that it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

    • Nah, guys have the advantage of being the ones to pick. You can go out and get ALMOST ANY GIRL YOU WANT. The only thing you need to do is grow a pair and approach. If you were a girl, you'd have to wait for someone to man up.

      I recommend you read some Pick Up Artist material (I prefer natural game). And always remember: If things don't work a first, don't give up, try again.

    • Show Older
    • Yeah but all girls have to do is reject or welcome our advances

    • What I really hate is that when girls start giving us nice guys a chance, is that when they become ugly

What Girls Said 29

  • You will probably get a girlfriend at some point in your life but it will take awhile if you're not taking any intiatative. 95% of people get married at some point in their live and I bet you're probably not an exception.

  • this is a cute question, hehe. I can't answer the first question for sure, plainly because relationships just happen when it's suppose to (you can't tell when, where or what until you are at THAT very moment). But don't lose hope dear :) try to make more friends and socialize (not always if don't quite like to socialize a lot, but moderately will do). because even if you don't get a girlfriend when you first warm up to people and start to socialize, I'm sure you'll learn a great deal about people as well their behaviour and how to BE OBSERVANT (this is important especially if you are thinking of getting into a serious relationship. but again, everyone have different personalities and opinions on how they want their relationships to be like.) Also, be sincere in your own ACTIONS to girls. people can see thru that ;) I wish you the very best of luck, don't rush through things, get to know people first, and don't be afraid of stumbling rocks along the route :) xx

  • First of all, yes, you will eventually get a girlfriend. But you'll have a far harder time and far less success if you don't learn to take chances and express yourself to girls. It isn't that girls don't like nice or shy guys, it's that they make themselves so inaccessible. A dominant man will walk right up and 'take what's his' in the time it takes 20 shy guys to muster up the guts to talk to a girl. Women are attracted to dominance, and a dominant guy will approach women far more often than a shy guy, hence they'll get one faster just by statistical probability. If you like a girl, just go up to her and let her know. The worse she will say is no, at which point you have 6 billion others to chose from. It's honestly not that big a deal and you'll be better off for it.

    • Love just comes to girls

    • Yeah frustratedchump... A lot of times it comes to girls, and then they don't take it, because of fears, insecurites, etc. :/

  • you either have to come out of your shell, or find an extremely patient girl. your call

  • Yeah. Some girls love shy guys. You should try to break out of it though a little. Knowing how to talk to girls and everything is a bit important when looking for a girlfriend.

  • Heeey! I can help ya. Be yourself. Some girls love shy guys (like me) ahahha. :) Wanna go out? lol just playiin. Well, to get noticed, just do simple things (hold doors for girls, simple nice stuff, etc. ) That'll get you noticed. Then just be ur sweet shy self. And things will play out. I'm the opposite of you . I'm a girl, but still have never had a boyfriend. best of lukc to you. HOpe things play out for yaaa.


  • YES! don't worry about it. BUT at some point you need to open up and take risks. nothing in life worth having comes easy. I like this really shy guy at the moment but he is almost TOO shy. he actually comes off as very aloof and disinterested. so if a girl seems to be showing interest show interest back in some way otherwise she might think your not interested and look elsewhere

  • yeah it will happen. you just gotta take risks and believe in yourself.

  • yeah some girls like that

  • Are you serious! LMPOO of course you'll get a girlfriend one day, every girl is different, you'll find the right person for you one day! :)

  • start chilling with more girls and yes you will

  • Suure you will! There are many girls who are the exact same as you who are quiet also. Or you might be one of those polar opposite couples where you're girlfriend is outgoing and you're really quiet! Don't put yourself down and wonder about the unknowns. Live for today.

  • Ofcourse you will, but only if that's what you want. You have to think "am I just shy or maybe I just am not ready to open up and be in a relationship" Either way, it is your choice. I am 25 and have never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship unless you count like mentors, close friends but nothing romantic at all. I am 25 and have never been in love. But I think we are both young and we both have made the choice to not have those things. When you want it, you will open up. I'm opening up and I am being patient. I just suggest that if you want a girlfriend you should open up, be patient and work it, boy! You'll get yours! :)

  • yes, maybe not now but if you wish to have one you will have one. and talk to girls, they may not be the ones you want but it will make you more comfortable talking to "the one" when she does come around. (:

  • just be confident.. that's all. most girls don't like shy guys. they like confident ones who know what they want.

    • Easier said than done. I would love to be but I can't, believe me I've tried.

    • X2 @eSHkidd

  • if you are so shy maybe you can approach a girl with texting or chat but of course you'll have to know her..girls like shy and cute guys don't worry

  • if your shy, learn to burst out of your shell! us girls like people who are outgoing and funny! seriously(: don't worry about imbarrising yourself somehow! just do it! you will learn to be more self confident. maybie go up to a couple of girls and make friends with them. nice ones that is. then other girls will start to notice you(: don't be scared to talk!

  • Yes you will! Don't worry! Try to do more activities and go places where a lot of different people are & maybe you'll feel more comfortable around people & meet new awesome people! (:

  • First of all I mostly think you will get married so you can have her as ur gf... And second ya man it doesn't matter abt shyness:)

  • Girls love shy guys! Just take a deep breath and calm down. If you see a girl you like, walk up to her say hello, complement her shirt, shoes, etc. and get a conversation. Get close to them as friends and eventually you'll be comfortable enough to ask her out.

  • well if you really realy like a girl and you think ur ready ask her out

  • course you will love comes around eventually for all fo us! no mattter who we are or how we act...you just have to be patient!

  • In a matter of time you will. The best thing to do since you are shy is try and figure yourself out first. Once you have accomplished that you will have the confidence to approach women. And there is nothing sexier than confidence. It sounds cheesy but it's true. Women would rather be with a man who knows who he is and can own it, than some guy who is insecure and becomes a downer. Just keep in mind that there is a very fine line between obnoxious and confidence. Best of luck to you!

  • Honestly, you will. Shy people just have issues AT FIRST, but you will break out of your shell. If not now, then later. Don't "do" anything that you feel is pushing your limit, but involve yourself in activities that you like with other people. Go out with other friends (best way to meet a person) and meet new people. Build relations with them and pretty soon, you'll build a legacy. Then you'll get a girlfriend. C:

  • with some luk like me read my stories/articles it tells how I got mine

  • you just have to work on it. there's hope, don't think just because you're shy means you can't get a girl. try making more chick friends, then talk to them about any potential girls you might like. chick friends are super helpful at getting the lowdown on targets. just get some confidence and work from there.


    • But maybe that's his problem. If he's anything like me, ANY girl makes me go back into my shell. I'm usually not comfortable around girls, or a lot of strangers for that matter. I get what you're saying but he can't very well make girl-friends if girls in general are the problem.

  • Umm...well if the girl actually KNOWS you then she is more likely to like you...also most girls won't go out with a guy unless HE asks HER out...yes, most girls ( including myself) are afraid that the guy won't like them back ( meaning they're afraid of rejection) , you might be 2 considering your shy but a girl will never know if you like them unless YOU ask them out! So get out there, and ask!

    Hope this helps!

  • of course you will ;) first, you should like a girl first. get to know her by making friends with her. take things slowly and then if you think that you really are into her and ready to be in a relationship then tell her how you feel. if she rejects you, don't lose hope. if you really like her, respect her decision and stay friends with her. don't give up. girls sometimes change their minds or play hard to get. but if you think she's not worth waiting for, then you should move on. if the girl likes u, it's easy...enjoy that loving feeling ;) don't be afraid to get hurt when you are in a relationship, it's included in the package ;) but it makes life more exciting :) just think that things happen for a reason :)

    • Terrible advice. Doing this will only get you friend zone'd

    • Show Older
    • It's way easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend, I hate how us guys always or usually have to initiate everything.

    • X2 for boribori90. Generally, the making friends approach has never worked for me. Its done just that- make friends. I think the cold reality of it is either you completely change up yourself to be more forceful and outgoing, or you wait until women reach the age where they will give the nice guy the time of day. I'm nowhere near a stage where I can be telling you from experience, but so far in my "healing process" I've quit listening to girls and what they say they want, among other things.

  • you will get a girlfriend when you losen up or stop looking for one it always works that way for me.

    • A guy can't stop looking for a girlfriend because he won't get one that way unfortuneately, love and dating just comes to girls, literally, for us guys, it does not come to us, girls do not chase or pursue guys

What Guys Said 16

  • From personal experience: NEVER! :p

    • @solidranger - differences. to questionasker, these are just some of our points of view, you should still do and follow what your heart tells u. and always be yourself not just only to people you like but to everybody. don't try to impress a girl you like with your personality that isn't really you cos if in the end u'll be with her, be sure that what you've shown her won't change. cos some boys like to impress girls but once they got her, all of it is just gone.

    • I never told him to not be true to himself, but "yourself" is subjective and can adapt. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me encouraging a shy guy to be more social. It can only help his success with women.

      You women don't understand how dating works at as a guy. A girl can easily "be herself" and have guys ask her out. But when you're a guy its different because we're expected to do all the work. If he's too shy to even approach women, then "being himself" won't get him anywhere.

    • Oh well... I rest my case. you're a guy and you know what to do...

  • You will find that by going to the clubs (if you can afford it) and dress up accordingly so you can ask women to dance. They love to dance. They can stay very unattatched and stay in their zone if you act cool about it. This will just give you confidence and give you a point of view as to which girls are looking at you to dance. Then go home alone ; and they will come to you when they get over their list of qualities you represent to them. Women hang out in the same clubs so you will find the same girls at each club, thus the term "Clubbing".

  • Remember when you were a kid and you were at that age you had to swallow a pill because they didn't make a chewable version? Recall how you didn't think you could do it? Now look at you. I bet today you have no problem taking a pill for a cold or headache. In fact you probably don't give it much thought.

    You can do the same thing with girls...ok, you can't cover them in syrup and try to swallow half of one, but you can take small steps to get to know them.

    Step 1: Go places women are at and do not leave until you speak to one. What to say? Regular things, women despite their good looks and complexities are human too. Ask them how this person is doing? Ask their opinion on something? Hell, just tap one on the shoulder say Hi, and run away.

    Step 2: The next thing you shoud do is go have a conversation with a girl. Again promise yourself you won't leave until you do. Who knows you might even have that conversation during step one. The truth is not every girl is going to be into you, but you won't know which ones are or aren't unless you talk to them.

    Step 3: Incorporate steps 1 & 2 with a girl whose number you would like to get and at the end of the conversation no matter what your inner voice says ask for her number or other means to contact her.

    Keep trying those three things mainly 1 & 2 and you will get better at talking to women. Do not try to preplan how a conversation will go or she will ask or say something you didn't expect and you will freeze (that's just awkward). If the woman you have chosen isn't receptive just walk away and be happy you had the courage to try. Then go find someone else to converse with.

    Remember one thing above all else. Not trying is worse than failing.

    Being rejected and not trying at all will give you the same results.

    If you ask for her number and she says no what have you lost? Nothing. If you don't even talk to her I guarantee you won't get her number which is the same as her saying no, but if you talk to her and she says yes...well, that's something that could only happen if you tried.

  • Dude... No...

    Ok, you sounds like cool guy, so I will share some secrets with you:

    1. Do you like yourself? Do you like your life, your job, your personality, your body? Why is this important? It is important because if you don't like yourself and your life, you don't have right energy, electricity, that attracts great girls. Do you feeling me? Everything is about your inner energy. That energy gives you confidence, smile, right body language - EVERYTHING that attracts amazing girlfriends.

    2. Do you have a great social circle? With who you hang out, who are your friends? Do you all the time meet new great people? How do you expect to find great girl? On Yahoo Answers? Hardly...

    3. Do you know how to deal with girls? Are you nice? Sweet? Good guy? If you are, it's about a time to change something. All I gonna to say is that: interesting girls do not like nice, sweet or good guys. They are too boring for them. Learn to bring some adventure, mystery, to touch her emotions, curiosity. Learn to free your passion and imagination!

    Well, I can write a tons of others suggestions and tips, but my time is priceless, and probably, like many other people who got my advice, you are just read this and continue to live your unhappy life...


    if you maybe, but just maybe, want to change something, check out link , but don't tell anyone ;)

  • first of all, since you are a virgin, you must loose your virginity fast: with a drunken girl who can barely stand up or with a prostitute (I recommend going to domin.rep.) Than, after receiving some experience, you we get your boost of confidence. don't chase after girls, but start doing social activities (sport is the best as it makes your brain produce hormones that act like a feel good narcotic). this will help you to gain confidence and as a confident man, you will attract women.

    In other words, if you want someone to like you, you will have to start liking yourself first.

  • It will come...trust me. I was 27 before I had my first serious g/f. When you meet the right girl you will know, and once you meet her, show some conviction.

    I will tell you what happened with me. I met 2 women that I was crushing on at about the same time. I followed up with both of them and made my intentions clear. I didn't come clear out and say "I like you" or "I want to date you" or something like that, but through my actions I made it clear I was interested.

    Eventually it became clear one of the girls wasn't for me, so I concentrated on the other. She didn't give in to my advances at first, but that was okay. We became friendly and got to know each other (which is fine as long as you make it clear what your end game is). Some girls need to get to know you.

    Some guys call this the "friend-zone", which it can absolutely become if you are not clear in your intentions. My girlfriend wasn't ready to jump into dating/relationship after our first meeting, but after a couple months of getting to know each other (through hanging out with mutual friends) she finally caved. Shortly there after our chemistry became clear. We are still dating today.

    It will happen, just don't force it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. It will come in time and when you do it the right way with the right girl, the relationship will be that much better.

    There is no one right way to do it. Some girls give in and crack easier than others. THink about it this way, even if she is not interested at first it doesn't matter. Don't give up. She won't really know the real you until she sees you in a one on one dating situation. Everything before that is perception. If you really want her...go after her!

    Good luck!

  • Don't listen to amarantine. She means well but she doesn't know how it really works to be a guy trying to find a girlfriend.

    If you keep doing what you're doing, then you won't find love. You're going to have to work through your shyness or it'll hold you back. Practice starting conversations with people, approach women. Work on your sense of humor, learn to be a little on the playfully cocky side, etc.

    • Oh crap I just realized I overlooked the shyness Issue, yow question asker if you are reading I think you can do both, work on the shyness and be friend first getting to know her. Hey soliddranger, you should try that sometime(knowing a girl as friend then work your way in the relationship) you would be surprise how much things she would share with you more than to get knowing starting in a relationship. try it dude try it!

    • Haaay solidranger, I guess we have our own ways of winning a woman's heart. but for women, there are lots of different women. some of them they like straight forward guys and they will be in a relationship without going through the "getting to know" part. how can you know someone more if you won't go through the friendship stage? I've seen lots of people who just jumped into a relationship or dating without knowing each other first and most of them broke up cos both sides are not willing to accept

    • I'm sorry, but if a guy wants to be successful with women, he cannot be a girls friend first. You have to make your intentions clear from the very beginning, or you become that friend she confides in but isn't interested in. It's called the friend zone for a reason.

      Yes, it's remotely possible to turn a friendship into a relationship, but it has a terrible track record. As a guy, its in your best interested to avoid the friend zone, not go into it willingly.

  • even if you think you can't be confident you can. Just be confident in your ability to be confident. When you find some one who you can talk to as a friend, she may end up becoming something more to you. Just try to be comfortable around people just think of them as other people same as you.

  • you can get one if you can get past the shyness but still stay within your comfort zone. Trust me I'm the same way. After awhile of being somewhere and you know people (girls) then show them who you really are. I promise you that some girls go for it. Although not all do but a good number will.

  • no you will get a girlfriend you might need to step out of your comfort zone a little just find someone you really like never be scared :)

  • yea, prolly. I undrstand bein shy, but just look at it like this, you only live once, so do what you want. I tell the girl I'm head over heeels in love with I love her every day, even though she's says she hates me whenever I say it. rejection hurts, and embarrassment is annoying, but just power through it and you'll come out all the better

  • Keep on living- you'll have one (several women).. just be yourself for now. No need to rush.

  • yeah get more confidence and break out of your shell.

  • There is a someone for everyone... some girls find being shy cute and charming. Find out what type of girl you desire, and work toward that.

    • I just need to make a distinction here; shyness comes in two flavors: wimpy and mysterious. wimpy shy has no self-confidence and is an unattractive quality because it bring a lot of emotional baggage and insecurity. mysterious shy is just that: mysterious. it's choosing not to talk when it's not needed, and not about too much.

      i'm assuming since the asker is having trouble that he's the former, so I say to him: you gotta love yourself before anyone can love you. that is all.

  • That is completely up to you.

    Be yourself, but if you want a girl, don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Shy people will generally respond with, "But that's just not part of my personality!" To that, I say FALSE. Your main problem is having a skewed notion of what girls are like. I think that you put girls on a pedestal, and that you think you must have to live up to a certain standard in order to appease them. You must erase this thought process. Girls are humans. They have flaws. Some are exactly how you fear them to be, some are even shyer than you.

    What you need to do, before you can love someone else, is to love yourself. Recognize that you like yourself (assuming that you do) and that you don't need other people to like you to feel validated. This way, you will care less of what others think of you, and you can be less inhibited.

    • One thing I really can't stand about girls is that they expect a lot more from us guys than we guys expect from girls.

    • Show Older
    • Also, girls have an easy advantage in which they can be bratty or boring, have no life, be a boring person but us guys will still accept them

    • Most guys would be smart enough to pick up on her brattiness or boringness and get out of there.

      some creeps would deal with it if she were hot enough so they could get with her.

      basically, girls have attractiveness, which is equivalent to our confidence.

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