Girls, do you like when a guy mess up your hair? Hypersensitivity or phobia?

[Nyafio]

there's a guy whom I really like, we've been hanging out for some time, dating and having fantastic moments together. But occasionally he messes up my hair! Let's say I sense some disturbance in the Force when something happens to my hair.
Before we meet I usually put my hair in a ponytail otherwise I might end up like a haystack.
When I lay my head in his lap while watching movies and he starts stroking my hair, I often think about that bread and dripping will be nothing compared to my hair by the end of the film.
Since we hang out together, a few times I even had a nightmare: a jar full of lard was poured on my head. I sat up and my hair felt like there was a thick layer of lard smeared on it. I knew this can't be real, but I only sighed after I reached out to my head, smoothed my hair and felt it clean.

Am I going insane or what? To be honest, there haven't been anyody so far who stroked my head ever. Could it be that I'm not used to it?
If not necessary, I don't wanna tell a word about it to him since he did NOTHING wrong.
I don't wanna lose him because of these ridiculous visions, but it's true that I totally can't stand having greasy hair.
How to get rid of these bad thoughts? I don't feel relaxing and not giving a f*** about it would help. I would rather smear a bucket of lard right into my hair from surface to scalp to overcome this situation.


Have you ever experienced similar? What would you do if you were me? What should I do? Am I just too hypersensitive to my hair or is it a phobia? :S
Please respond

[RasmusAiken]

First, you have awesome purple hair and it looks great. That aside, you also have a neurosis - with thoughts not grounded in reality. You're like the kid who won't step on a crack in the sidewalk for fear that something bad will happen.
This is completely treatable and curable but you may need some professional help from a psychologist or licensed counselor. Begin by explaining everything to your boyfriend. . . . he can be a big help to you.

[Nyafio]

Thanks for your compliment and advice :) But do you have any idea how it started occuring to my mind? Before I met him, I have never had 'hallucinations'. Can it cause bigger problems if I/we try to handle the situation for example by smearing lard all over my hair? Somehow I feel I must try to overcome that nightmare. Maybe I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable after doing this?

[RasmusAiken]

That's an interesting idea. . . using the lard. I think you do have an unreasonable fear of it and having the actual experience would be proof there is truly nothing to fear in having lard in your hair.
Try it! Ask your boyfriend to participate. It's far less expensive than seeing a therapist. You might want to try mayonnaise! It's supposed to leave a beautiful shine. "This common condiment is not only great for sandwiches, but also for adding shine to dull strands. Use it as a pre-shampoo treatment, adding a generous amount to damp hair (infusing it with almond oil and vinegar can help with ridding the scalp of lice, FYI). Next, cover your hair with a shower cap and allow it to sit for up to 20 minutes. Lastly, wash out the mayo, shampoo or co-wash as usual, and get ready for newly revived locks."

[Nyafio]

I'm afraid to start telling about this whole thing to him. He would support me, but what if he thinks I'm lunatic? I would like to do it alone, but I wouldn't be able to cover my hair with that white substance. :/
I don't know how you interpreted it, but I'm not really afraid of lard, but the fact that it can pretty mess up my hair. Maybe I'm just whiny because of my hair, but that still doesn't explain the nightmare.

[RasmusAiken]

Revealing your fears is exactly what good relationships are all about. It's necessary for true intimacy. He won't think you're a lunatic if he's any kind of reasonable guy. He's probably a little off the mainstream of thought in some of his ways, too. We all are. And if he can't deal with this little thing of yours (which I very much doubt) it's best to find that out now rather than 2 years into a relationship. Be brave.

[Livinglogical]

Well rubbing of the scalp does encourage it to produce more grease so maybe there's the link. Why not just tell him 'don't rub my hair, it'll make it need washed sooner and I can't be bothered with that'.