My girlfriend doesn't make the effort to talk as much anymore. Can't figure out why

(SORRY IF THIS SEEMS VERY LONG) We've been dating for a bit more than a month. before we started going out, we were very close friends and talked to each other everyday for at least half an hour, but about 2 weeks after we went out, she started talking less and less. here's what's annoying me:

1. she's often on Facebook replying comments and talking to others (shows on my homepage), meaning that she has heaps of spare time, but she just doesn't talk to me?

2. lately, we'd talk on the phone for like 15 minutes a day before she sleeps, and then she'd go "i need to sleep now" and gets off the phone, and sometimes that'll be the only 15 minutes of communication we have in a whole day, which annoys me.

3. she can sit at home all day watching tv and talking to her guy/girl friends, but not even message me or call me? (I initiate text conversations 80% of the time now, unlike before, where it was 50%-50%)

she's a very independent girl who doesn't like saying anything corny (she barely even says "i miss you"), and she hates clingy guys, which makes it hard for me to talk about this issue with her. I asked her the other night "do I ever cross your mind when we don't see each other?" and she said "yes", which put me into a really confused state of mind. I really need some help here, I just can't figure her out, perhaps you girls could help me?

PS: we see each other about twice a week

PPS: she treasures her social life

PS: I can tell that she wants space, but seriously... this is too much, even for me, and I KNOW that I'm not a clingy guy

by the way, I dun really wanna complain about this to her, I know that it'll just push her further away. and also, I like her very very much.


Most Helpful Guy

  • She's independent, you said. And you also mentioned she has a social life. So she has a variety of activities going on and a fruitful life. If you wanna be with this chick that means you need to preoccupy your time with other things than your girlfriend. Anyone in the world can see you're gassed up with 'feelings' about this girl. It's only been a MONTH, we all get that way. only thing is she's pumpin her brakes, doin the smart thing and noticing that maybe things are movin too fast. Meaning, she doesn't want to make or hear promises she or you can't keep. But then again, she might not have been looking for that to begin with and two things will happen. 1) She'll break up with you if you continue your relentless concern before you actually cool off. 2) She secretly likes the attention and the moment she gets tired of it and something better comes along she dumps you. You have only one choice and the only choice that can also help you out if you think this girl is right to be with.(more importantly, it will stop your current habit with this girl). That is, talk to her seriously the next chance you get, tell her you understand where she's comin from and that you were in the wrong to be accelerating the relationship so quickly only after a month, and then tell her that the only reason for that is because you admire her independence and see something different/special in her (you decide, make the compliment unique but for the love of God DON'T take it too far) and that you'll stop the endless callin and give her a chance to make the text/call first. And then end it with "BUT, if you feel this is done and it can't get any better, let me know so we can end this now". I know you say you're not clingy man. But anyone on this forum including myself will say that you are. We get it man, she's cool and since it's only been a month I'm sure she's drop dead sexy. be a gentleman but stern, and ask her if she means business because you certainly do and won't allow the relationship to drag out into something it never was. Because your right, seeing a girlfriend twice a week (unless it's school/career/family) is no girlfriend. Good luck