I was always a kind person, but dealing with backstabbers can turn a person cold. I don't want to become a typical "bitch".
How do you deal with low levels of trust due to jealousy and competition from others?
This is the tougher aspects of being an attractive woman. unfortunately physical appearance seems to be the only card that women count and if you are leading the pack they want to throw you off of the wagon.
And if they are smart and lonely she SHOULD do that.
For example, When I was 15-22 I had this best friend. He looked A LOT like vin diesel. Black, built, sweet talky. Well, he was my roomie as well and women flocked at the apt. knocking on the door to hang with him. All just waiting for him to be single. They befriended me to get close to him. For the 2yrs he lived with me we hanged out with somewhere around 200 women and NOT ONE liked me.
OF COURSE WOMEN ARE GOING TO TURN ON YOU.
Now here this may help. Let's see if it's totally their fault or if you are helping people hate you.
1. Your first point was that the source of your high value is physical attraction (one day you'll have to think about working on that on another day). Anyway, so how about the guys you have dated? My guess is that you are going out with the hotshots. The types of guys who seem to be too cool for the world.
If this is true then you are showing that you are boosting a concieted path.
And on the other hand, how would you respond if a nice and normal average guy approached you?
How about this? When you like a guy is there the slightest chance they they will not be the captain of the football team or Mr Ben Affleck.
2. Clothing? Your hot but how you dress is a game changer for respect from other women. If you dress in flashy clubwear, skanky, desperate, skin showing junk then women are going to hate you.
If you are very pretty and dress modest then it's difficult for women to turn on you.
GOOD
ep.yimg.com/.../...-modest-dress-in-peacoat-14.jpg
BAD
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...def7d17a28.jpg
yummmmm
Anyway
3. HAIR. does it look like you try too much? Making every effort to look at hot as possible?
Some women have it perfectly dyed. $400 a month on it. spend an 30 minutes waving it, etc, etc.
You try to hard and you are a good target.
Trust is earned. It's just the way it is. If you trust people without it earned, people will really disappoint you because you will run into manipultors. Jealousy is a form of manipulation, as people try to make you feel a certain way, and it's not in your best interest. Remember a good friend, someone you can count on, that has your best interest at heart, is rare and that is why a real good friend is special. The older you get, the attractiveness thing will become less of an issue, people mature and less focused on pure looks. Looks only open so many doors and don't keep them open for very long.
This is something that I have dealt with also. I feel exactly how you feel. So I know what you are feeling when you asked this question. I dont think generally you should confide in everyone your meet. When your young. you tend to tell everyone your hopes, dreams, passions, darkest secrets without knowing if the person will hold that information and keep it private. As people get older and this is not with just you, they tend to not trust anyone unless its someone they have been knowing for years and even they can stab you in the back. I would advise you to be cordial but dont go around telling your life story, or personal details that may have haunted you in the past. They dont deserve that. They are just coming into your life. They have earned the right to know, and even if you did know them for a very long time. You are not obligated to share that information with them.
I've always had issues making friends with other females because they are down right NASTY towards me. I'm naturally a quiet and shy person, even though I'm also out going (contradiction, but it's me) I stick to myself and involve the people that I care about and who care about me. From about the age of 11 and up girls have just been jealous of me, whether it's because of the guys who have liked me or I've liked, or they were jealous for other reasons such as my appearance. Which honestly makes no sense to me because some of these girls who were/are jealous of me are gorgeous themselves. And it isn't like I'm model material or anything. It could simply be due to your personality and how MALES perceive you. Females can be malicious and jealous for the smallest ( to the other person at least) reasons.
Sadly, this is common behavior for girls in your age range, whether you are pretty or not. These girls have low self worth and don't know how to improve their own lives for themselves, so they feel the need to bring others down to make themselves look and feel better. Honestly, it takes time and research to learn to spot these kinds of girls before you get in too deep with them. With the internet, it's so easy to learn what signs to watch for in people. when i was younger, all I had was trial and error. I know, I know I am making myself sound like a old crone. LOL Arm yourself with knowledge. Take some time to learn and understand human nature. Be careful not to trust in anyone fully when you first meet them. Let friendships build over time and you will be rewarded with better, closer friends.
You aren't conceited. You are simply owning what you have going for you♡ You are going to have to keep more things to yourself, especially plans because people are going to want to sabotage them. Good-looking people are assumed to have better lives. In some way life is easier for good-lookings but then you are going to get people who project their own self-loathing onto you and punish you for not hating yourself like they hate themselves. Be as nice as you can to others to express solidarity but you are going to have to be sneakier when you take your leaps in life.
Thank you☆♡☆
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Honesty is an expensive gift not everyone can afford. Don't expect it from cheap people. I've also been there. Having to deal with gossips and bad rumors.
The worst is that they are church people with their judging eye on me. That's why when someone approach me, I kind of peek inside their soul first. What does he/she need of me?
You don't have to be a "bitch". In my case, I still treat them with as much courtesy and respect but I'm equally distant and cautious. I also became better at sniffing lies but I just smile at them anyway. It's not me they are fooling but themselves.
I know the stress. Just move to different place if you can. Start fresh. *hugs*
By never trusting anyone but youself. Welcome to the club my friend. Those of us stabbed in the back will turn and become the very forces of cloaks and daggers. Accept the nature of humanity and all interaction are merely transactions. Everything happens for a reason. Everything has a price. When you rely on yourself, you inevitably get stronger. We fight the adversity by adapting and thriving where others fail. (extends hand)
I can empathize with your situation. Friendships have to be built on trust, that has to be the foundation. People like that in your life are simply and blatantly not worth keeping around, as jealousy tends to bring people to making decisions that break lives. Cut them off, as you never lose friends, you only find out which ones are real.
Well, you need to stay away from people who are jealous freaks or haters and you can usually sense when someone is one they stick out in the crowd like sore thumb. I don't trust many people cause you never know what they can do.
You are going to have too,
I've met my best friend 10 years ago
Even tho I live in a different country now, I still visit him and when we do we are still just like we were a few years ago... Full trust
Just wait till you find the right people to trust
Also can I see a picture of you ^^, want to know if you are speaking the truth about yourself <3
Just dont give a s**t thats the best way to live. No one can judge u by what they think only you can
there are many types of people in this world. It all boils down to who you meet. You need to recognize other types of people who are kinder and doesn't want to get involved in drama. I've learned that the hard way.
Go your own way.
Real freedom begins when you no long care what others think and begin to live your life exactly the way you want to.
I have been through the same thing. I have learned to not put trust in a relationship with a person so soon. When you meet someone try to find out what their true self is. It may take awhile but, its worth it. I have lost about ten friends because of that.
Getting hurt is just a normal part of life. It happens to everyone. You need to start giving more chances to other people who are different from the ones you knew in the past.
I have the same issue. It's better than telling everyone your secrets
You need to find your soulmate. If you can trust at least one person the others can go forth, and multiply. So to speak.
I dont think this is bad it human nature it's kept me safe in some bad placrs
you can't push yourself to trust people it happens naturally
I only trust people who earn it
u can just kill them with kindness and success
Tust no one
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