The guy I liked got another girl pregnant. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I liked this guy for sometime, but besides hooking up in the beginning and then a couple of dates, we are mostly friends who talk. He recently told me that he got another girl pregnant. He says he still has feelings for me. I am very mature about this and being a supportive friend. I haven't said any of the things in my head, just been objective and supportive. But it is so unfair. I feel extremely stressed out about this situation. I care about the baby more than him now, and what a sad situation for a child to enter the world this way. It is his ex that he says he doesn't love. The thing is, at first I was shocked. Now I am angry. He had told me he didn't want a relationship, but was obviously sleeping around this whole time he was talking and flirting with me. I think he was being extremely selfish and immature and now what a mess. He asked me if he's off my list because of the baby. The thing is, the baby isn't the problem. I love kids and really want a family, and it would be worth it, if the guy was. I just feel like after all of this, it seems like I should move on and just forget him, even though I am a good friend and a strong woman. It's just a lot to take and I don't want to be put in between. It seems if he ever gets it together it will be a long time, and I definitely won't wait around.

Thoughts? Guys..Why sleep around like this and cause multiple people such heartache. Its so unhealthy!

Feeling very down about this.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I wouldn't f*** with this guy, he sounds like more trouble then he's worth. If the tables were turned and YOU had got pregnant and were a single mom, do you think you'd have it easy getting a guy to want to be with you? Probably not. Honestly I think you should step your standards up (no offense) and not be so pressed to be with this guy. I think it's messed up that he contributed to the situation and hopefully he won't be a deadbeat dad or anything. You said that he was being selfish and immature...hmm those do not sound like good qualities for a relationship. Hope he does step up for the child though.

But think about it, he has a baby on the way. He is always going to put his baby #1 (If he is a good dad) and will always have his ex in his life because they have a lifetime bond. Are you ready for that? I think if you met another guy that didn't have a built in family it would be easier. Also, I don't personally know his situation between his ex, but look if he did not marry her or at least have a family for his baby now...what do you think would happen if you got pregnant by him? Being friends is cool but I wouldn't be anything more with him for all these reasons above. Good luck

[Asker]

Your words ring true. Time for ME to think of myself and future, and just let this one go. Thank you.

[lovehelp]

Has he been acting differently from before? Has he given you more attention, showing you that he wants to be with you and settle down?

[Asker]

No. He is a lot of talk, and is very confused about what to do. Even if I would give him a chance, it would not be right now, in the middle of all of this. I can only imagine how the other girl feels.

[lovehelp]

Its good that you have noticed these things. Just be patient and see what happens.

Is he really worth it?

[Asker]

Okay. He is changing how he treats me. My grandmother recently passed away and he was there for me the whole time, whenever I needed to talk. He is now offering to help me out with projects and asked me to hang out. He told me he would want to give it a try to see where it goes, after I told him my requirements that I want to date someone to marry them in the next couple of years. He's doing all of the things I would love for a guy care about to do, but I feel torn.

[DanielSan]

I am very sorry for you.

the fact is though. 1. the baby is not your fault. 2. the guy is not worth you in a relationship. 3. its up to you wether to stay his friend or not. 4. stop stressing so much...many children are born under worse circumstances the guy and his ex its their problem to solve not yours.

[mazeltov]

Any update on this thread? OP did you stay as friends or you cut him off of everything?