Why does this girl act so weird around me?

[Anonymous]

I met this girl in one of my science courses last semester, we were lab partners. It started off kind of friendly but over time there was definitely some intense mutual interest there, only problem was she had a boyfriend back home, about 6 hours away. She never mentioned him until one of our conversations was pointing towards me asking her out. I did end up asking her out towards the end of the semester when we were studying together, but she just looked down and blushed without saying anything. Next time I saw her after that before our final she was standing about 30 feet away staring at me when I was talking to a group of students. After our final I wanted to talk to her so I waited outside and when she saw me she got super nervous and ran away, literally.

This semester she is in another one of my classes and I can't figure her out. She'd be really awkward and nervous around me for no real reason, I'd ask her a non personal and pointed question and she'd look like she was about to have a panic attack. Then the other week I was waiting by myself for one of our class study sessions and when she came into the room and saw me she locked eyes with me and had a huge smile. She sat down next to me and was super excited talking to me. Then the other day before class I was sitting on a bench just outside our class room, just texting on my phone, and when she came around the corner she saw me, looked down and away immediately and walked in a slightly different direction.

I don't follow her around and I don't approach her every time I see her, in fact I've been creating some distance between us because her behavior makes me feel uncomfortable.

[wicket]

she has it for u bad she likes u so much. dont give her distance u should continue pursuing her dont take her behaviour personally she just has a big cruch on u thats all

[Asker]

I forgot to mention this, but about 6 weeks ago I asked her out in class before spring break, it was kind of awkward since there were other people around. She looked down and blushed but said no. When I came back from spring break instead of sitting next to me, as she usually does, she has been sitting another seat over. However, first class back when I walked in she had a huge smile on her face and was staring at me. The issue is that she is still with her boyfriend from back home, I found her Instagram account and able to see that.

I personally think she has a really big crush on me but may not be willing to act upon it. However, she has at least 3 more years of school left here and the boyfriend isn't even in this country, he is in Mexico going to university there where they are from.

I'm not even sure what to do at this point, as I feel like I'm potentially stringing myself along emotionally.

[wicket]

she's between a rock and a hard place. she has feelings for u but scared to act upon them because she has a boyfriend. He's also soooo far away while u are there with her almost every day. she must feel so confused as to what to do. I hope u understand where she is coming from. She is trying to decide what to do. So sometimes she might act nice with u but when she remembers that she has a boyfriend that is so far away she feels kinda guilty and pulls away. It's a whole lot of stuff going on inside of her right now

[Asker]

I realize that logically but in the moment her behavior makes me feel very unwanted and self concious. I haven't really been talking to her much since spring break because of this, but after the way she was the other week with me during our study session I feel more relaxed around her now. I think she is just putting up a wall as you said and not sure what to do.

[Asker]

Also, the boyfriend is a safer bet for her since they have the same mutual group of friends. Even though we've spent a lot of time talking, I am kind if an uncertainty.

[wicket]

how long has she been with him

[Asker]

I'm not sure, but from what I gather from her instagram about a year.

[wicket]

let her choose for herself what she wants dont decide for her by assuming that she would prefer being with him and not u just continue talking to her as normal and in time shell figure things out

[Asker]

Well, her avoiding me kind of seems like she has made up her mind about staying with the boyfriend. But continuing to talk to her sounds like a good idea, though we haven't been conversing much the past few weeks.

[wicket]

trust me continue talking to her she hasn't decided any thing as yet based on what you've told me because if u stop talking to her also she will feel rejected in a way

[Asker]

The semester is almost over with and she'll be going home soon. Are you saying I should ask her out again or what?

[wicket]

alright here what how about u just tell her what you said here so she knows what u feel and then u can go from there and then she can tell u what she's feeling too

[Asker]

I was honestly thinking of just saying to her if the relationship with her boyfriend doesn't work out that I'd be interested. Then maybe exchange numbers or something like that. I've never had a girlfriend so I'm totally clueless about this stuff.

[wicket]

aww but dont tell her you'll be waiting if the relationshp doesn't work out. Just tell her what you are thinking be honest and i promise you doing this will help a lot and it will save a lot of time because if u tell her what u feel and she responds positively then u and her will be happy if she doesn't respond positively then u would have found ur answer without wasting any more time and u can move on with ur life. U can still talk to her as a friend but at least u would have sort out the problem u guys had

[NeveRich]

She did not do anything inappropriate, didn't she? Or she did something that really bothers you?

[Asker]

No, our interactions have been totally normal.

[NeveRich]

So, what makes you uncomfortable that pushes you to the point that you are avoiding her?

[Anonymous]

She def likes you, but she prolly is scared to tell you, and is avoiding you bc of it.